The "fluff and puff"

[Anne Bonny]

Talking about feminine hair styles....I have settled on just long enough to fix it as in my avitar which for my gender fluid ways is probably just perfect...In fact I believe this is the very picture commented on by a female friend who stated "If I didn't know I would have thought you were a girl." I think that's the best complement Anne has ever received and it felt nice it still gives me a little thrill as I appreciate that complement. Then...I look at the pictures of me in a rather awful looking blue suit at my son's wedding where I asked the hairdresser to trim it back the minimal ammount because it took me about 5 months to grow out hair so that it nearly covered my ear lobes and I hated to give that up. So I had it "trimmed back but just enough to get in under the wire with a style that could not be mistaken as female." That length of hair did not sit well with my guy side because only Anne was pleased with it...but she's a girl...so....

I do spend most of my life as a man...but Anne (my femm side) is there from time to time and she isn't going anywhere...I have been dressing my entire life. Anne has a very adequate and full wardrobe and could easily live full time lacking nothing...I have everything I need as Anne to live full time as a girl but I am gender fluid. Things wear out...fashion changes and worn things can be weeded out as new items take their place. But We are talking HAIR!

Yeah...I really really regret not having had a proper male hair cut for my son's wedding in my rumpled old blue suit with hair dyed too dark matched to a pasty aging complexion with hair kind of lapping just over the top of my ears screaming for a haircut! I LOOKED LIKE A REAL DUFFUS!!!! Instead of feeling pride in myself that I made a good masculine appearance for my son and for posterity...I look awful!!!!!! It is one of those huge mistakes that will make me cringe the rest of my life I will always kick myself over that one because everyone looks their best but me and I am representing my son...I can't imagine him pointing out with pride that's my dad! Well...it is a mistake I will not repeat at any future major life event where there will be pictures which will become memories.

OK So there is a time and a place and most of the time within a couple months hair can be grown out enough to do the feminine fluff and puff into a style which will please my femm side but will still allow me to comb it into a definite masculine style that will look nice without looking like a duffus.

Why not a wig you ask? Because there is absolutely no satisfactory substitute for your own very real and very nice looking hair. Sure there are high end wigs costing a lot of money made out of human hair but they are still just wigs. How authentic can you feel about yourself if you have to do something artificial, almost like wearing a mask?

I am gender fluid so I wear breast forms in my bras but that is a little different...I can't help being gender fluid. Breast Implants and having my genitals sliced, diced, and re arranged permanently are for transsexuals the only proper solution for someone who is gender fluid are forms. But we can grow our hair just long enough to achieve a pert short pretty feminine style matching that of many young ladies and older ones.

I do at age 59 dye my hair medium brown with touch of grey and will until that no longer looks natural anymore, the trick is to acknowledge medium brown no longer looks natural due to my age, and at some point I will have to accept the inevitably or I will have a face winkled like a mastif with jet black hair...you have to acknowledge at some point dying looks ridiculous...but! you can hold on to having some color in your hair for a couple decades longer if you are strategic and careful about it. At first full color....then as age comes allowing some grey to show....till finally you let it go...

I do have a full head of hair so I acknowledge that I am very lucky though I have started to purchase generic minoxidil to apply to the back part of my pate...It seems to be working quite well as I can no longer see thinning hair back there but you do have to apply it in the morning and then again in the evening every day and a 3 month supply of generic runs about $18...

If I were hair challenged I would invest in a nice quality mid range feminine wig, wigs are nice but as an option if you have your own head of hair for myself a wig is always a second best option....Perhaps If I were practically going out and about in feminine attire a few times a week I might grow my hair and many men do wear it in a pony tail but that has never been my style...I was not raised that way so shortish hair is just ingrained...as are clip on ear rings as I have resisted having my ears pierced I believe it is just a generational ingrained thing as many men today pierce their ears and they are cis gender!

Oh well not sure if this will be of interest or worthy of comment but ..."fluff and puff!" (that is what the stylist told me...when you do your fluff and puff....bla bla bla...)

[Stephanie M]

I'm stuck with wearing a wig I'm bald on the top of my head.

[Anne Bonny]

I have some thinning...had some in the back but have been applying minoxidil (Walmart) twice a day for months and...seems to have worked. But I have a wig on a stand covered with plastic bags in a box in the closet...paid $45 way back in 2006 and it still looks good. But if someday up the road I am faced with that I will buy a nicer wig.

One great thing that I loved about my wig is that it gave me long beautiful hair instantly, I had it professionally styled and that has held pretty much though I have used wig shampoo 3 times....and wig conditioner on it to help it along. I really liked how once I was all made up with my ear rings in once I put the wig on I looked great!

But I still prefer my own hair...I am very lucky, my dad was bald on top, I am not sure really about my mother's side because she was adopted.

So Many women have horrible hair too and they do wear wigs. It is fun to purchase more than one long short, blonde, and brunette.

Many women also have to wear one. My dad wore a toupee and was rather secretive about it all...I found out about it when I was age 9 and was disturbed by it...later in life my mom and my sister got after him..."It looks like a dead rat on your head...etc... Poor Dad. But when he put it in the closet Mom and my sister complemented him and told him how much better he looked with out it.

Yeah... artificial hair is artificial...but if you need it and if it makes you feel better about yourself then you should definitely do it...I would, how else could I feel good about myself when I am feeling feminine without hair!? I couldn't! I think your wig looks just fine! I would not have known if you hadn't told me. I apologize for going off too much on wigs.

[Stephanie M]

No need to apologize about going off on wigs. The reality is everyone has a different taste or desire.
Wearing a wig helps me transform into someone else just as much as the rest of the clothes do. And I kind of like not having to bother with hair when in "man mode".

And thanks for the kind words. The wig actually belongs to my wife who spent years in theater, one of the reasons she's open to my "hobby". She also knows that for me it may have been hereditary my father is a cross dresser and she was thrilled when he finally dressed around her because she knew he felt comfortable with her.

I guess I'm rambling on but mentioning my father made me think of to post this. I spent a great deal of my life trying not to be like him, for the longest time I did everything I could think of to be a "man". Then after my divorce 10 years ago I said the hell with it and started dressing partially and as I get older the more desire to be more feminine has taken over. My current wife has been supportive through all of it and I'm grateful to have her. I can finally look at myself in the mirror and accept that Stephanie is part of me and it's ok to be like this.

Sorry about rambling on.

[Noeleena]

Hi,

Stephanie.

So your stuck with wearing a wig , or... are... you really . ??? .

I know some of our women who have lost their,s due to cancer, one asked me what can she do so I said and she did just get a scarve and tie that around your head or do a turban style many women do wear a hat or knitted head wear and looks lovely ,

My self I know what its like for us women to not have hair , so can be quite disheartening ,
I wear my scarves in turban styles I make up in different ways and make hats and head wear all different and just wear those, to day with our Brass band some of us wore the xmas style head wear I made mine yesterday Friday in red and white trim on the bottom and a pompom on top I design and make all I have some times I buy a few lovely coloured winter hats or beenie type,

so being stuck no you don't have to be, some women have shaved their hair off for cancer week ,

I was asked if I had cancer some while ago and I said no I lost my hair due to detail in our family history, our middle son is going the same way and Mom lost a lot of her,s = cancer,

...noeleena...

[Stephanie M]

No I'm not literally stuck with it, I meant due to hair loss if I want to try to look feminine it's a good idea to wear a wig. If my wording offended you I apologize.

[Anne Bonny]

Certainly not...I was concerned about having offended you and was concerned I may have hurt your feelings....Hair loss or thinning hair can be a big deal, is a big deal to many men...but not to the bald is beautiful group. Solar Panel for a sex machine crowd...men who are confident and who think...hum! makes me look tough!

Oh did not see Noeleena up there..ha! The bold and the beautiful!

[Stephanie M]

Oh did not see Noeleena up there..ha! The bold and the beautiful!

Yeah I was concerned that my wording offended her after reading her post.

As for you nothing you said offended me or hurt my feelings. It takes a lot to offend me.
I grew up in a house where when people got angry they said hurtful things, it made boot camp in the Army a snap though.

[Anne Bonny]

Ha! Noeleena is a trip! I love hearing from a sister in Australia.