Coming out at work

[KimberlyS]

Congrats Penny, it sounds like it has been going well for you. I hope it continues.

kimberlys

[Heather W]

Congratulations Penny on how well it is going for you. As one who transitioned on the job I know it can be a scary and risky situation.

I work for a large multi national corporation and knew there had been some before me who had done it so I knew it was possible and there was a policy. Still my knees were shaking and my stomach doing somersaults as I told my supervisor of my plan. I still remember him looking at me and saying "Well this is above my pay grade. Guess we better go talk to HR and see what we need to do."

While it is a large corporation I work in a small relatively tight knit group of about 125. No not everyone was happy with the announcement but all of them treated me with respect and there were no real issues. I am sure I was the topic of more than one water cooler discussion but that is always going to happen. That was back in August 2015 when I told my supervisor and began my formal tour of duty as Heather when returning from Christmas break in January 2016. Not going into all the details here but I had my GCS in February 2017. When I returned to work in May there was a huge cake waiting on my desk that read "Welcome Back Heather."

You won't change everyone's mind but I did see some softening in most as I showed them I was still the same person with the same capabilities, just a redesign of the sheet metal. My best advice is to hold your head high and show them you are still that same person and if anything better at your job than before. Remember it is your life to live not theirs. You cannot expect everyone to approve of your choices however you do have the right to demand they treat you with the same respect and dignity afforded all.

I wish you the best on your journey and keep us posted as to how it is going.

[Anne Bonny]

Wow, it always amazes me and I can only imagine having to go talk to Human Resources and wondering...will this be it!? Let alone how your associates with all the different personalities, people competing who would seek to use it, and who knows if you would become a pariah? Especially since this is your income...your ability to pay the rent, etc which potentially could fly out the window.

I was in the military and am still an RN with an active license though I have not worked in nearly 10 years but I used to have shiny red toenails and shaved legs and panties under my uniform...and I used to dream of being able to wear the same uniform women wear and meet their standards....In a military environment it would have been brutal and with their subtle ways my evaluations would have ensured no future for me. But I have only ever been in the mid ranges there was nothing to drive me on to a transition. Also I had a wife and two sons to consider I could never have been so selfish anyway even if I were one who needed to transition.

[Diana Michelle]

Most larger companies and governmental units have a policy so be terminated because of coming out is not as common as the old days but it can and sadly still does happen. People allow fear and hate to override the value of a good employee unfortunately.

For the most part the girls I have been associated have all told me in a way that first day was really anti-climatic. Not saying that will happen all the time and there will always be let us be polite here and just call them the naysayers. Understand you are not going to win them all but always hold your head high and show them this is just a wardrobe change not a whole new person. I will reiterate what Heather said here. Even those naysayers owe you the same respect and dignity they showed you before the change as well as what they give to others.

[Emily]

In the team meeting on the Friday that week I announced I had something to tell the team and they listened while I told them that I was transgender and intended to live as a woman.

Hi Penelope and congratulations for coming out at work and IRL as well!! Good for you!

I came out at work last November. Most had no issues, many already knew that I was transgender long before anyhow. But, there were some who were quite surprised and visibly upset by the change. The "naysayers" (as Diana put it so well) were quite vocal, but the good news for me is that these people are no longer naysayers. I'm not saying the necessarily agree with my transition, but they have come to accept me as Emily and from what I can tell, treat me just as they would any other female co-worker. But, working in a factory environment with a bunch of men can be fun and interesting. We all get a good laugh or two everyday!