I feel my Transistion is now complete!

[Victoria K.]

At first, i had some fear and uncertainty on how i would do as my true self! but no more.All female now! except for a certain operation which will happen in time.No more thinking now! its all natural to me.Next week i have my new legal name and i can not wait!!.

[Requal Jo]

Congratulations Victoria.

[Anne Bonny]

We all have to find and to go wherever our own unique path leads us. So Congratulations on arriving at where you are at this time and in being able to be your authentic self going forward. Anne

[DonnaT]

Congratulations, Victoria.

[Victoria K.]

Thank you all ❤❤

[Amanda R]

Victoria I am a bit puzzled by your announcement. Generally a transition is not considered complete until at least a full year of RLE under the supervision of professionals has passed. Yes getting the legal name change, your first weeks of 24/7, starting HRT, and even being fitted for your first bra because you actually need to wear one as opposed to just wanting to are milestones on your journey but they are by no means the end of it. I know I cherished each of these as well as others but I knew my journey was nowhere complete with the passing of each of these individual accomplishments. Generally the legal name change is one of the first steps on your trek of transition.

The day to day adaptation to female life, the highs and lows, the joys and sorrows, overcoming the loneliness, and so on are all what you need to overcome to truly understand what it is to be a woman in the big, cruel world. This is what RLE and the period of transition are all about. Once you have surpassed these and understand the day in and day out life females go through then you can consider your transition complete. At that point then and only then with the help and approval of your therapist and other professionals can you weigh your further options.

I am curious, have you discussed this completion of your transition with your therapist? What was his reaction and what did he have to say about your feeling of completion?

[DonnaT]

The completion of one's transition is when one says it is. It is not dependent upon other's opinions or rules.

Whether to take hormones or not is one's own choice, and definitely not necessary for one to feel complete. Same for other physical changes resulting from a doctor's care.

[Diana Michelle]

With all due respect I beg to differ with you Donna. One may consider themselves whatever they do desire to within accepted norms. However in the TG community transition or as it is properly referred to as Real Life Experience (RLE) is a well defined and accepted term. Those rules you refer to are there to prevent problems, many potentially harmful to one's health both physical and mental. There are way too may girls out there self diagnosising and self medicating which can lead to many issues affecting one's health. Those rules and professionals are there not to block us from our happiness but rather to help us find it and the path yo accomplish it.

Over 20 plus years of working within the TG community I have seen too many girls who have this belief that because they like the clothes and when they are dressed femme they think the would enjoy the attention of a man in whatever manner they presume themselves to be women. I think you would agree that is far from the truth. Yes I am most supportive of girls who desire to transition but only if they play by those well defined, tried and true rules.

Had Victoria said she now the name change made her a woman or announced she had completed a metamorphosis I doubt anyone would have said a word for that is within one's mind and an assumption the TG community could accept. However to use a well defined term such as transition and declare themselves through it is not even close to any norm accepted within the TG community.

[SilverLady(SO)]

and for all the same reasons! I was waiting for someone to speak up about Victoria's incorrect use of 'transition'.


- SL

[Victoria K.]

Ok!! This is my opinion!! Not something written in some rule book.The way i feel! Act! look! Tells me i know who i am.Sorry!! i DO NOT!! need to have some professional tell me if i am ready.This is not something really new to me!! it was just locked up forever inside! now let free.If you want to tell me i am not ready! fine!! but i KNOW who i am better than anyone else.Its everything about me that defines me!! not just a name change or change of clothes! All that i do now reflects my true self and my heart tells me im complete!!!.

[Amanda R]

Victoria, no one is trying to tell you what you are or are not nor deny how you feel. Rather I raised the issue as you used a term that within the TG Community has a specific definition.

i DO NOT!! need to have some professional tell me if i am ready.

I believe you have some misconceptions of professional therapists. They are there for many reasons. Going through transition is not like the old song about plucking your eyebrows and shaving your legs and suddenly you are a woman! There are many issues to address including coping with rejection, discrimination, fitting in, the sense of hopelessness, loneliness, and simply adapting to life on the other side of the gender curtain. Additionally there are physical and emotional changes that occur should you go the route of HRT. Professionals are trained to help one work through these issues and many more. I believe if you talk to anyone who has gone through transition they will tell you they couldn't have made without the support and love of many people and they include their therapist in that support network. Therapy is not about telling you that you are ready but rather it is about making sure you are ready and you have all the tools necessary for success in your new life.

Why is it that the medical community agrees doctors make the worst patients? Because they self diagnosis and self medicate. I hope you are not playing doctor. If you are whether it be diagnosis or medications please stop immediately for your own health, physical and emotional, and seek professional help as soon as you can. They are trained to help you to achieve your goal.

[Victoria K.]

I have done the therapy! seen a psychologist! going to group meetings! so i am not going blind with this.To be perfectly honest! i could have still done it alone! None of this support makes any change in how i feel and how i deal with it.In fact i find them being amazed at how well i have transitioned.Yes for some it is really needed! but it really is about you! and how you feel.I know some who have done it cold turkey and have wonderful lifes.Just saying that it is very usefull and really needed in many cases! but its not for everyone! Love you all ❤❤

[Anthony Simon]

Going through transition is not like the old song about plucking your eyebrows and shaving your legs and suddenly you are a woman!

I think that was Holly Woodlawn from Walk on the Wild Side - "and then he was a she" was how the song goes. It's about a trio of Andy Warhol drag queens - and I was pretty obsessed with them (particularly Candy Darling) in my youth. So "old song"...

Woodlawn did eventually transition (there was a BBC documentary about the song in which she appeared post-op), but the song doesn't record that.