Facing The Music!

[Anne Bonny]

I have worn a dress several hours everyday for a while because it is my preference when I feel this way...Once my son comes home won't be able to until he has left for Japan. Yeah, I know if he graduated he most likely could find a Job anywhere within the continental United States...but Japan...well if he joined the military.... I suppose I am upset and kind of worried and sad about it but it is his life and he now has the credentials as an adult beginning their prime working years to do so. Thing about my being able to wear whatever I like and whatever makes me feel happy is that I should also be "facing the music" as in not being a coward about my right to be who I am...If I am wearing it I should wear it as in "knock knock"...go and answer the door...or oh gotta go get the mail or run to the commissary to pick up things I need (probably be arrested on base or detained and turned around!? Being real about it as in go to hell...this is who I am is very scary for men and has very real consequences...even family would turn their back on me, friends too because most believe who I am is 1. a mental illness, and 2. is absolutely morally unacceptable. Sadly I am not able to be who I am openly without major social consequences that would break my heart and might get me arrested. As for finding new people...even presenting my male self even that is not bringing ...well dancing but they would say bye if they knew. Oh well.