Coping...will I ever get out of this category?
Posted: Mon Dec 23, 2019 12:12 pm
The main criticism leveled at people like myself who are part time cross dressers is that every thought in our head centers around dressing. I have seen comments that we are basically dressing up in costume.
I am aware I really really enjoy and 90% of the time choose to put on a skirt and a top, or a dress over jeans, shorts and slacks...unless it is fairly cold. I really do believe this is because I desperately wanted to wear female clothes but had to do it secretly. I feel I had to deny my desires. It is like being thirsty in the desert with no water and all you want is what you are not allowed to have. I do hope this preferences for the more feminine side of women's clothing may calm down in time...but then again many women do prefer more feminine clothes.
I do have common sense though and will wear jeans shorts or slacks with tennis shoes or flats or sandals. My preference is for everyday mainstream dressing ... I follow the herd as most women do following common sense, individual preferences and current trends... I think had I been born and raised a woman...I would probably be dressing much more in slacks and jeans than in dresses which would be relegated to hot summer days, or for when I feel more feminine or when I want or need to dress up to look nice.
OK! This is what I have been working on lately...because the criticism I do find to be close to the truth. I have finally let it all go as in I am who I am. I am dressing much more at home...no I am not a full time dresser but this is a huge part of who I am...my more feminine thoughts cannot be separated and are there much of the time every day all day.
A friend has told me that I keep repeating the same issues over and over again and I told her she is absolutely correct.
I have also stated that once I have arrived to where I am, that it is time to carry on with my life and to just be who I am...to be myself.
I read on here about and know we are out there living our lives or should be once we get here. I think about Charlie Martin my hero who is a race car driver in the UK...she will attend and support the trans community in various ways from time to time but she is also living and working and racing and has returned to living a normal life as a person who happens to be a woman.
I suppose I need to follow that lead...It is time to begin to live my life as someone who just happens to be feminine in many respects and who dresses this way time to time. After all that is what all of my struggling has been about. I have indeed accepted that I am quasi a girl to a great extent and now it is about moving past all of that and beginning to move on living a normal life as a person who is somewhat female doing whatever I desire to do with the rest of my life. I do not know if I will ever go out with the outward expression of who I am inside all of the time...I mean in clothing that is appropriate for me to wear...but I am who I am on the inside right now all of the time even if I look male on the outside.
I am aware I really really enjoy and 90% of the time choose to put on a skirt and a top, or a dress over jeans, shorts and slacks...unless it is fairly cold. I really do believe this is because I desperately wanted to wear female clothes but had to do it secretly. I feel I had to deny my desires. It is like being thirsty in the desert with no water and all you want is what you are not allowed to have. I do hope this preferences for the more feminine side of women's clothing may calm down in time...but then again many women do prefer more feminine clothes.
I do have common sense though and will wear jeans shorts or slacks with tennis shoes or flats or sandals. My preference is for everyday mainstream dressing ... I follow the herd as most women do following common sense, individual preferences and current trends... I think had I been born and raised a woman...I would probably be dressing much more in slacks and jeans than in dresses which would be relegated to hot summer days, or for when I feel more feminine or when I want or need to dress up to look nice.
OK! This is what I have been working on lately...because the criticism I do find to be close to the truth. I have finally let it all go as in I am who I am. I am dressing much more at home...no I am not a full time dresser but this is a huge part of who I am...my more feminine thoughts cannot be separated and are there much of the time every day all day.
A friend has told me that I keep repeating the same issues over and over again and I told her she is absolutely correct.
I have also stated that once I have arrived to where I am, that it is time to carry on with my life and to just be who I am...to be myself.
I read on here about and know we are out there living our lives or should be once we get here. I think about Charlie Martin my hero who is a race car driver in the UK...she will attend and support the trans community in various ways from time to time but she is also living and working and racing and has returned to living a normal life as a person who happens to be a woman.
I suppose I need to follow that lead...It is time to begin to live my life as someone who just happens to be feminine in many respects and who dresses this way time to time. After all that is what all of my struggling has been about. I have indeed accepted that I am quasi a girl to a great extent and now it is about moving past all of that and beginning to move on living a normal life as a person who is somewhat female doing whatever I desire to do with the rest of my life. I do not know if I will ever go out with the outward expression of who I am inside all of the time...I mean in clothing that is appropriate for me to wear...but I am who I am on the inside right now all of the time even if I look male on the outside.