I lost my dear wife, be two years come April. I realize anyone I meet will be a completely different person in every way...I am I believe finally open to that possibility ... I mean anything is possible right? There is someone out there for everyone...I do believe it is true...overwhelmingly true for the vast majority of people out there.
Mentally though being a girl...while still being a man...uniquely I am a fe..male a term that really does fit me. This really does hold me back...like most women I do tend to hope for the woman to ask me! I am rather reticent hanging back and yeah like many women there are undertones of some degree of submissiveness internally though I am not ever going to be a door mat...I will definitely assert myself and stand up for myself as a man if needed...I am not going to be walked on. I want a partner to be my equal...meaning yeah I am perfectly willing to yield to her, and hope at times she desires to yield to me in equal measure. Being a couple means two equal people love each other...have each other's back, stand up for each other etc.
But where in the hell am I ever going to find my heart's desire who will love all of who I am as I love all of who she is? It is very discouraging because most all women want a man who is a man all of the time and I am simply not that kind of a man... I am or can be a man...but I am not a man in substantial ways and will not be a man a substantial part of the time.... my chances are disheartening. I know that they are. But just like loneliness ... If I dwell on that reality it will crush me so I do have to compartmentalize and realize while I may find a woman who will love me...I will ...at 62 have to be realistic and begin to live my life ...and learn how to enjoy my life alone. It is possible to be alone in life or single and to still drive to the beach, park and walk out onto the sand to enjoy a beautiful sunset.
I have no clue how I would be able to find a woman to loves or would want a man like myself as her partner ... I am not about to sit at home...I do want to go places, travel and to get out. My chances are nil...but I suppose I can come to accept that and learn contentment and enjoyment of life never the less.
How to meet a woman...
Moderators: KimberlyS, CathyAnn
-
Anne Bonny
- Miss Diamond Goddess
- Posts: 2577
- Joined: Sat May 09, 2009 9:22 am
- Location: The Gulf Coast
How to meet a woman...
Go with the flow
-
Marti
- Miss Silver Goddess
- Posts: 42
- Joined: Mon Jun 21, 2004 8:29 pm
- Location: Southern California
Re: How to meet a woman...
Anne,
February will be 5 years since my wife passed away. I am about the same age as you are. I waited many years of being married before I told my wife about my dressing. She didn't like it and I respected her and didn't dress very often or go out until after she died. After she died i went to a grief group to deal with my loss. I always went as my male self. The program was 2 years long and it was about 90 per cent woman and a few men. We all became close through our shared experiences and continued to socialize even though we were done with the program. most of the women were older than I am but one was about my age. We had gone out a few times but nothing romantic. At some point I told her about my crossdressing. She was very accepting and we even went out a couple of times with me dressed as a woman. As I said our little group continued to socialize, going out to dinner once a week. At some point I decided to tell the rest of the group about my dressing. My one friend that knew told the others that I was going to come to dinner dressed as a woman. I came to dinner, answered the usual questions and then went on with dinner. I continued to go to dinner dressed as a woman only occasionally dressed as a man when the situation called for it. As I said, most of these women were much older so I was only interested in them as friends and I have wonderful women friends whom are very accepting.
About 2 years ago i went to my 45 high school reunion. I don't keep in touch with anyone so I decided to go dressed as a woman. We had piggybacked onto an annual mixer for all years and there wasn't a large group from my years. I caught up with people and everyone was very accepting of me. I spent a good part of the evening chatting with one woman. We spent so much time chatting that we didn't get much to eat so we went out afterwards for some food and chatted for a couple more hours. We exchanged numbers and I said that I would call her. I was out of town for a few days but when I returned the following week I called her and we met for breakfast. I was dressed as a male. We did more talking. I asked her out again and we started going out. She knew that I dressed as a woman and went out often but I was dressing as a male when we went out. At some point I dressed as a female around her and we sometimes go out with me dressed as a female. She is attracted to the male part of me and I make sure that I give her that side but she is also happy to let me express the female side since she knows that both sides are what makes me the person that she fell for. We are getting married in a few months, she is the only one who is going to wear a dress at the wedding.
Give yourself a chance but don't push things. I wasn't looking for anything, it just happened. Take something that you enjoy doing and find meetup groups for that activity. I am sure that you will find something. It is possible.
February will be 5 years since my wife passed away. I am about the same age as you are. I waited many years of being married before I told my wife about my dressing. She didn't like it and I respected her and didn't dress very often or go out until after she died. After she died i went to a grief group to deal with my loss. I always went as my male self. The program was 2 years long and it was about 90 per cent woman and a few men. We all became close through our shared experiences and continued to socialize even though we were done with the program. most of the women were older than I am but one was about my age. We had gone out a few times but nothing romantic. At some point I told her about my crossdressing. She was very accepting and we even went out a couple of times with me dressed as a woman. As I said our little group continued to socialize, going out to dinner once a week. At some point I decided to tell the rest of the group about my dressing. My one friend that knew told the others that I was going to come to dinner dressed as a woman. I came to dinner, answered the usual questions and then went on with dinner. I continued to go to dinner dressed as a woman only occasionally dressed as a man when the situation called for it. As I said, most of these women were much older so I was only interested in them as friends and I have wonderful women friends whom are very accepting.
About 2 years ago i went to my 45 high school reunion. I don't keep in touch with anyone so I decided to go dressed as a woman. We had piggybacked onto an annual mixer for all years and there wasn't a large group from my years. I caught up with people and everyone was very accepting of me. I spent a good part of the evening chatting with one woman. We spent so much time chatting that we didn't get much to eat so we went out afterwards for some food and chatted for a couple more hours. We exchanged numbers and I said that I would call her. I was out of town for a few days but when I returned the following week I called her and we met for breakfast. I was dressed as a male. We did more talking. I asked her out again and we started going out. She knew that I dressed as a woman and went out often but I was dressing as a male when we went out. At some point I dressed as a female around her and we sometimes go out with me dressed as a female. She is attracted to the male part of me and I make sure that I give her that side but she is also happy to let me express the female side since she knows that both sides are what makes me the person that she fell for. We are getting married in a few months, she is the only one who is going to wear a dress at the wedding.
Give yourself a chance but don't push things. I wasn't looking for anything, it just happened. Take something that you enjoy doing and find meetup groups for that activity. I am sure that you will find something. It is possible.
-
Diana Michelle
- Miss Ruby Goddess
- Posts: 1750
- Joined: Sat Aug 09, 2014 2:17 am
- Location: Northern Michigan
Re: How to meet a woman...
Not going to go into the details as even though it has been over 22 years it still brings tears but I buried the love of my life. We were not married as long as you and Pat were but it hurts beyond anything I can describe as you know Anne. I remember telling myself that I could never love again and in spite of being barely 44 years old I was destined to live my life out alone.
Somehow I found the strength to go on and eventually started to date. Yes I admit to being intimate with a couple of those gentlemen but it was not love and while the physical was there I knew it was not the same. Then a few years after my husband's death I was talked into going to my BFF's church picnic and while there coerced into joining a coed softball game by her daughter.
Not sure what it was but there was one guy that caught my eye. Maybe it was the fact I ended up playing second base rather than shortstop my usual position as he also played shortstop. Maybe it was the fact I discovered he loved dark beer same as I did. Maybe it was he was tall. Maybe it was I was tired of sitting home alone. Maybe it was a combination of all these or something else. I really have no idea what it was to this day.
At any rate whatever it was we eventually connected and one thing lead to another and we got married. Not saying the path to that was smooth and had its share of fits and starts but somehow we got there and while not the same as it was with my first husband we had a wonderful marriage. Then for some unknown reason God felt he needed Jim more than I did same as he had with Frank and again I was left alone.
Yes I was devastated yet again maybe even more than the first time for I was questioning what did I do to deserve this again. With the help of family and friends and some counseling I put my life together again. I started to date a couple of years later but TBH it was more out of loneliness and really had a difficult time connecting with anyone. I was beginning to think I was truly destined to live my life alone.
Then I was at charity function and a friend of a friend introduced me to a gentleman. He was intelligent, funny, an excellent conversationalist, and handsome in a mature way. One date led to another and we eventually became a couple.
I am not telling you this Anne to evoke sympathy nor to put myself out as some sort of a heroine. I am telling you this for a couple of reasons. First there is hope and a life beyond. Secondly one can find love when and where you least expect it. Last but not least don't be in such a rush! Everything happens in its own time, your time has not come yet.
Somehow I found the strength to go on and eventually started to date. Yes I admit to being intimate with a couple of those gentlemen but it was not love and while the physical was there I knew it was not the same. Then a few years after my husband's death I was talked into going to my BFF's church picnic and while there coerced into joining a coed softball game by her daughter.
Not sure what it was but there was one guy that caught my eye. Maybe it was the fact I ended up playing second base rather than shortstop my usual position as he also played shortstop. Maybe it was the fact I discovered he loved dark beer same as I did. Maybe it was he was tall. Maybe it was I was tired of sitting home alone. Maybe it was a combination of all these or something else. I really have no idea what it was to this day.
At any rate whatever it was we eventually connected and one thing lead to another and we got married. Not saying the path to that was smooth and had its share of fits and starts but somehow we got there and while not the same as it was with my first husband we had a wonderful marriage. Then for some unknown reason God felt he needed Jim more than I did same as he had with Frank and again I was left alone.
Yes I was devastated yet again maybe even more than the first time for I was questioning what did I do to deserve this again. With the help of family and friends and some counseling I put my life together again. I started to date a couple of years later but TBH it was more out of loneliness and really had a difficult time connecting with anyone. I was beginning to think I was truly destined to live my life alone.
Then I was at charity function and a friend of a friend introduced me to a gentleman. He was intelligent, funny, an excellent conversationalist, and handsome in a mature way. One date led to another and we eventually became a couple.
I am not telling you this Anne to evoke sympathy nor to put myself out as some sort of a heroine. I am telling you this for a couple of reasons. First there is hope and a life beyond. Secondly one can find love when and where you least expect it. Last but not least don't be in such a rush! Everything happens in its own time, your time has not come yet.
Remember Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did only she did it backwards and in high heels!
The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls and tenement halls and whispered in the sounds of silence. Paul Simon
The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls and tenement halls and whispered in the sounds of silence. Paul Simon
-
Anne Bonny
- Miss Diamond Goddess
- Posts: 2577
- Joined: Sat May 09, 2009 9:22 am
- Location: The Gulf Coast
Re: How to meet a woman...
Thanks Marti,
Since finally getting myself together I am an a lot of the time girl, I do have people who know and we message from time to time. Being a woman internally it is how I think of myself but acknowledge I am of course a man. I do dress male more though I do dress some everyday some days it is just sleeping feminine or wearing lingerie under my clothes because my son is here or because I am not comfortable going out yet with my true colors showing. Sounds as if you had no need to break the news because you have been able to do that up front and also to find acceptance leading to a relationship. Gaw, I wish you well and hope it is still wonderful for you in your new relationship/marriage. That is the kind of thing that I want..though I desire only commitment and not marriage at my age there will be no children of course.
I am beginning to let some of who I am show...wearing my hair longer, ears are pierced...I have begun to wear tiny ball studs in my ears when out sometimes and to buff my fingernails to a shine. Is it going to take me years longer before I can go out and be who I am!? Hope not. But I see being comfortable and confident about going out without too much concern was a key that led you into meeting accepting women which led to finding the right woman. I think that is the key...when they meet you and talk to you and see that this is just who we happen to be....
Yeah, I think you are showing me the way forward. Thanks again, Anne
Since finally getting myself together I am an a lot of the time girl, I do have people who know and we message from time to time. Being a woman internally it is how I think of myself but acknowledge I am of course a man. I do dress male more though I do dress some everyday some days it is just sleeping feminine or wearing lingerie under my clothes because my son is here or because I am not comfortable going out yet with my true colors showing. Sounds as if you had no need to break the news because you have been able to do that up front and also to find acceptance leading to a relationship. Gaw, I wish you well and hope it is still wonderful for you in your new relationship/marriage. That is the kind of thing that I want..though I desire only commitment and not marriage at my age there will be no children of course.
I am beginning to let some of who I am show...wearing my hair longer, ears are pierced...I have begun to wear tiny ball studs in my ears when out sometimes and to buff my fingernails to a shine. Is it going to take me years longer before I can go out and be who I am!? Hope not. But I see being comfortable and confident about going out without too much concern was a key that led you into meeting accepting women which led to finding the right woman. I think that is the key...when they meet you and talk to you and see that this is just who we happen to be....
Yeah, I think you are showing me the way forward. Thanks again, Anne
Go with the flow
-
Anne Bonny
- Miss Diamond Goddess
- Posts: 2577
- Joined: Sat May 09, 2009 9:22 am
- Location: The Gulf Coast
Re: How to meet a woman...
Hi Diana,
You have been out there for a long time and I have been needy, havn't I? My time has not yet come...bummer but I am only beginning to have the stirring of the winds inside ... desire, desire to do... and also desire to let my girl show a little about the edges... I know it will have to progress a long way. I Just have a mortal fear...Dog did that alerting type bark and I jumped because I am dressed quite fem Skirt, top heels, make up etc and no where to hide with doors flung open wide...have double glass doors.
I know none of this will really be realized or be as it should be until that does not happen at all, and I get up and go to the door if someone happens to be there...going out that door with my purse etc. I want out of this box... Wrote this at bedtime on FB...then made it only for my viewing when I got up:
"I am alone. So strange. Everything is of my own volition. I am on everything managing my affairs. I do lack the imagination, will, and desire to truly go or do anything...it is like a prison...not wanting to expend the money, time, or energy... it is a waste of life. I am in irons. Alone life has no point. Life is about the sharing of experiences with someone you love, and who loves you. Had that once, but it ran out as did all who used to be there. Death has left me marooned there are people but no means to cross that gulf there is no longer anyone for me how do I find another person now? At our age...people are settled and fixed not open as we were when our future and all of life it seemed lay ahead. It is as it is. Oh well, too bad."
Woo! Far to negative. You have done it 3 times! Marti did it too! If both of you can then I can too! I can feel no different going out no matter how I am dressed. Most people today are ready I believe for tolerance...to accept, are too wrapped up in their own business, or will just continue on keeping their acceptance or lack there of to their selves. There will always be a low level risk of verbal or physical confrontation with the potential for an assault of some kind. I cannot help who I am...but I have to overcome my own fear...accept that people should be seeing who I am which is at times outside the usual conventions stuck inside others minds. I have the right to live and to be who I am inside all of the time. Suppose part of that is finding what is real, is very appropriate and fits who I am with either a male or a female flair that really does look nice or is acceptable and fine.
I am afraid of being honest with women I may meet because I believe the rejection rate will be so high. Some ... suppose there are women out there who do not care...I have contacts like that but they are either married or are not ever going to be any prospect. What I need to find are women who not only know and knowing are still potentially interested in who I am as a person. Enough rambling for now... Later, thanks
You have been out there for a long time and I have been needy, havn't I? My time has not yet come...bummer but I am only beginning to have the stirring of the winds inside ... desire, desire to do... and also desire to let my girl show a little about the edges... I know it will have to progress a long way. I Just have a mortal fear...Dog did that alerting type bark and I jumped because I am dressed quite fem Skirt, top heels, make up etc and no where to hide with doors flung open wide...have double glass doors.
I know none of this will really be realized or be as it should be until that does not happen at all, and I get up and go to the door if someone happens to be there...going out that door with my purse etc. I want out of this box... Wrote this at bedtime on FB...then made it only for my viewing when I got up:
"I am alone. So strange. Everything is of my own volition. I am on everything managing my affairs. I do lack the imagination, will, and desire to truly go or do anything...it is like a prison...not wanting to expend the money, time, or energy... it is a waste of life. I am in irons. Alone life has no point. Life is about the sharing of experiences with someone you love, and who loves you. Had that once, but it ran out as did all who used to be there. Death has left me marooned there are people but no means to cross that gulf there is no longer anyone for me how do I find another person now? At our age...people are settled and fixed not open as we were when our future and all of life it seemed lay ahead. It is as it is. Oh well, too bad."
Woo! Far to negative. You have done it 3 times! Marti did it too! If both of you can then I can too! I can feel no different going out no matter how I am dressed. Most people today are ready I believe for tolerance...to accept, are too wrapped up in their own business, or will just continue on keeping their acceptance or lack there of to their selves. There will always be a low level risk of verbal or physical confrontation with the potential for an assault of some kind. I cannot help who I am...but I have to overcome my own fear...accept that people should be seeing who I am which is at times outside the usual conventions stuck inside others minds. I have the right to live and to be who I am inside all of the time. Suppose part of that is finding what is real, is very appropriate and fits who I am with either a male or a female flair that really does look nice or is acceptable and fine.
I am afraid of being honest with women I may meet because I believe the rejection rate will be so high. Some ... suppose there are women out there who do not care...I have contacts like that but they are either married or are not ever going to be any prospect. What I need to find are women who not only know and knowing are still potentially interested in who I am as a person. Enough rambling for now... Later, thanks
Go with the flow
-
Diana Michelle
- Miss Ruby Goddess
- Posts: 1750
- Joined: Sat Aug 09, 2014 2:17 am
- Location: Northern Michigan
Re: How to meet a woman...
Exactly my and Marti's point! As I said it doesn't happen on a time frame and generally happens when you least expect it but it does happen. I think back to how I met my first husband, a blind date on of all days New Year's Eve. I still remember by BFF talking me into it telling me it beat sitting home watching Dick Clark with a bowl of popcorn. Love and relationships don't know of logic or timing or even well you have kissed enough frogs so it is time to reward this one and trust me I kissed my share of frogs! It just happens!Anne Bonny wrote: You have done it 3 times! Marti did it too! If both of you can then I can too!
I am not telling you this to discourage you Anne. Like I said I kissed my share of frogs before my Prince Charming rode up on his white steed yet I know a girl who is engaged to the guy she first kissed and gave herself to and IMO they are perfect for each other. It is not about how long you have been searching or how many frogs you kiss or even you are ready, it just happens. I hope for your sake it comes quickly for you but one never knows where love is concerned.
There is love out there for all of us if we are patient enough to let it find us.
Remember Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did only she did it backwards and in high heels!
The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls and tenement halls and whispered in the sounds of silence. Paul Simon
The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls and tenement halls and whispered in the sounds of silence. Paul Simon
-
Heather W
- Miss Ruby Goddess
- Posts: 1103
- Joined: Mon Jan 13, 2014 8:22 pm
- Location: Ann Arbor
- Contact:
Re: How to meet a woman...
Anne I think I am the one Diana spoke of who is now engaged to the first guy she kissed and gave herself to. I know to many my life may seem like a fairy tale where everyone lives happily after and maybe it is now but it wasn't always that way.
I am not going into the whats and whys I made the choices I did in life but I will say I have not regretted for a second the choices I made. What I will say here is as I went through my transition and even after my surgery I thought a lot about what lay ahead for me. Was there really happiness and love out there for me? Yes after my surgery I was as much a woman medical science could make me but I also knew that not every man could understand or accept that. Was there really someone out there who could look beyond what I had been physically and see the person I was and in essence had always been?
Yes I was blessed to find that individual and on my first time out of the gate. Kyle is the only guy I have ever been out on a date with, the only guy I have kissed, and the only guy I have ever been intimate with. He and I have talked about all of this more than once and he has told even though he knows of my past, I was up front with him and told him the whole story before we ever slept together, he looks at me and sees nothing but all woman. The woman he loves and wants to spend the rest of his life with.
I have thought about what I would have done had it not worked out for Kyle and I. What if we didn't have that connection, fall in love? Like others before me and after I probably would have had a good cry, take a week or so and wallow in some self pity, than get back out there and start the search all over again. I can't tell you how happy I am I never had to do that but I know I am strong enough to have done it had I needed to.
Anne there are people out there that are capable of seeing with their heart and not just their eyes and thinking with their mind and not their fears or preconceived idea, or even their hormones. Marti found someone like that as has Diana 3 times as have I as have other girls be they TG or CD. That search can take years or it may be the next person you meet for as Diana put it so eloquently love knows no time table. I pray your search for that special someone is short and you find what you seek but I also pray if it doesn't work out this time you find the strength to get back out there and keep looking.
I am not going into the whats and whys I made the choices I did in life but I will say I have not regretted for a second the choices I made. What I will say here is as I went through my transition and even after my surgery I thought a lot about what lay ahead for me. Was there really happiness and love out there for me? Yes after my surgery I was as much a woman medical science could make me but I also knew that not every man could understand or accept that. Was there really someone out there who could look beyond what I had been physically and see the person I was and in essence had always been?
Yes I was blessed to find that individual and on my first time out of the gate. Kyle is the only guy I have ever been out on a date with, the only guy I have kissed, and the only guy I have ever been intimate with. He and I have talked about all of this more than once and he has told even though he knows of my past, I was up front with him and told him the whole story before we ever slept together, he looks at me and sees nothing but all woman. The woman he loves and wants to spend the rest of his life with.
I have thought about what I would have done had it not worked out for Kyle and I. What if we didn't have that connection, fall in love? Like others before me and after I probably would have had a good cry, take a week or so and wallow in some self pity, than get back out there and start the search all over again. I can't tell you how happy I am I never had to do that but I know I am strong enough to have done it had I needed to.
Anne there are people out there that are capable of seeing with their heart and not just their eyes and thinking with their mind and not their fears or preconceived idea, or even their hormones. Marti found someone like that as has Diana 3 times as have I as have other girls be they TG or CD. That search can take years or it may be the next person you meet for as Diana put it so eloquently love knows no time table. I pray your search for that special someone is short and you find what you seek but I also pray if it doesn't work out this time you find the strength to get back out there and keep looking.
The time is always right to do what is right
Martin Luther Ling Jr
Martin Luther Ling Jr
-
Anne Bonny
- Miss Diamond Goddess
- Posts: 2577
- Joined: Sat May 09, 2009 9:22 am
- Location: The Gulf Coast
Re: How to meet a woman...
Thanks Heather, I wonder...well I believe if I were Bi ... somehow it might be easier? I also believe I am probably ... about as far as I will go? physically I mean. I shake my head I suppose being where I am at...age 62...but then you cannot worry about all of what has flowed under the bridge because there is only the here and now...and the life ahead from this point. I am in fantastic shape and feel great running etc every day. I am now struggling with allowing who I am to show a little around the edges in public. I am currently absorbed trying to assist my son so he has a brighter future, one needs no help teaching English in Japan challenging exams to improve his fluency... Diana said I have a ways to go...I am trying to figure out getting back into living. I gave up dancing spent a couple thousand last year doing that...but it is not a natural inclination for me and though the people there are quite friendly ... they are there because I was paying for their services. Besides you really need no lessons to dance, I am a better dancer so it was not all wasted time. My challenge now is to allow my feminine to be seen on the outside when I leave the house...inside I am always who I am but I am inclined to look one way or the other just depending on how I am feeling or desiring. The other challenge is to ditch the idea that life has no point if you are alone and have no one to share experiences with, I suppose meaning...go sailing...take your camera to the beach...go for a ride in the car along the beach or to travel some. Take a cruise, attend local events and try to talk to people!
I do have a ways to go...have to break the habit of just sitting here except for my errands and my running and walking. I hear you...thanks.
I do have a ways to go...have to break the habit of just sitting here except for my errands and my running and walking. I hear you...thanks.
Go with the flow
-
Heather W
- Miss Ruby Goddess
- Posts: 1103
- Joined: Mon Jan 13, 2014 8:22 pm
- Location: Ann Arbor
- Contact:
Re: How to meet a woman...
Anne it is not about being straight, bi or gay. It is about what you are and embracing that. Yes things might be easier if you are one way or another but when has life ever been easy?
You ask if there is a woman out there who can accept you on your terms? As you know love is an all encompassing emotion. It is about not just being there for each other but also fulfilling that part of your partner's life that needs fulfilling as well as your partner fulfilling that part of your life that needs it. It is about being what is needed at that moment be it physically, emotionally, and yes even sexually. It is about not only being you but also what your partner needs you to be. I will say at least from my perspective it is the most wonderful feeling and I think most would agree with me here.
Is this person really out there? As many of you know I work in the auto industry and we have a saying, "There is an a$$ for every seat." Yes I know perhaps a bit crude but it says it all. Not everyone wants the same thing and regardless of what it is someone wants they are not only entitled to have it but also there is someone or something out to fill their needs. It may not be your tastes or mine but who is really entitled to judge? If I remember my Sunday School teachings it is not for man to judge, that right is reserved for God. In answer to my question yes that person is out there. Not sure how you go about meeting this special someone but if I were to wager a guess I doubt it is going to be hiding away at home or just dashing to the grocery store failing to make eye contact with anyone.
We all have "a ways to go." As they say at work what you did for me is fine but what are you going to do for me now? I can appreciate it is difficult to let the world see the true you. I know I hid it away for years fearing what others would think. Then I reached a point where it came down to do I want to live my life for others or do I want to live it for me? I think you know which I chose but TBH it was one of the toughest decisions I have ever had to make. For me it came down to this is who I am and well if you can't accept that so be it! I was fortunate in most gave me a chance and I think if you open yourself to the world you may find exactly the same. No not all accepted me with open arms but same as I did you have to ask yourself, is it my life to live or theirs to live for me?
Coming to the realization of this is who I am regardless of what people see or think for me was the most liberating moment of my life. It was about knowing down to my soul I could be that person I really am and although I knew there may be some that cannot accept that do I really need those types of people in my life?
I pray you find the courage to make those choices that are right for you Anne. Not what is right for this one or that one but what is right for Anne. Please know whatever choices you make I and I am sure all here will support you 100% in your decision.
You ask if there is a woman out there who can accept you on your terms? As you know love is an all encompassing emotion. It is about not just being there for each other but also fulfilling that part of your partner's life that needs fulfilling as well as your partner fulfilling that part of your life that needs it. It is about being what is needed at that moment be it physically, emotionally, and yes even sexually. It is about not only being you but also what your partner needs you to be. I will say at least from my perspective it is the most wonderful feeling and I think most would agree with me here.
Is this person really out there? As many of you know I work in the auto industry and we have a saying, "There is an a$$ for every seat." Yes I know perhaps a bit crude but it says it all. Not everyone wants the same thing and regardless of what it is someone wants they are not only entitled to have it but also there is someone or something out to fill their needs. It may not be your tastes or mine but who is really entitled to judge? If I remember my Sunday School teachings it is not for man to judge, that right is reserved for God. In answer to my question yes that person is out there. Not sure how you go about meeting this special someone but if I were to wager a guess I doubt it is going to be hiding away at home or just dashing to the grocery store failing to make eye contact with anyone.
We all have "a ways to go." As they say at work what you did for me is fine but what are you going to do for me now? I can appreciate it is difficult to let the world see the true you. I know I hid it away for years fearing what others would think. Then I reached a point where it came down to do I want to live my life for others or do I want to live it for me? I think you know which I chose but TBH it was one of the toughest decisions I have ever had to make. For me it came down to this is who I am and well if you can't accept that so be it! I was fortunate in most gave me a chance and I think if you open yourself to the world you may find exactly the same. No not all accepted me with open arms but same as I did you have to ask yourself, is it my life to live or theirs to live for me?
Coming to the realization of this is who I am regardless of what people see or think for me was the most liberating moment of my life. It was about knowing down to my soul I could be that person I really am and although I knew there may be some that cannot accept that do I really need those types of people in my life?
I pray you find the courage to make those choices that are right for you Anne. Not what is right for this one or that one but what is right for Anne. Please know whatever choices you make I and I am sure all here will support you 100% in your decision.
The time is always right to do what is right
Martin Luther Ling Jr
Martin Luther Ling Jr
-
Noeleena
- Miss Platinum Goddess
- Posts: 409
- Joined: Fri Mar 29, 2013 5:09 am
- Location: South Island, New Zealand
Re: How to meet a woman...
Hi.
Most people know me and that's some many 1000,s of people with in our groups 2000 member,s all know who I am and accept who I am for myself not perfect and maybe not up to how some would like me to be yet for all that I still move in very large circle.s of people yes most are women .
Now I would like a partner yes I do have one who is my dance partner so I know I can go to many dance,s and know I,ll have some one apart from his mother to dance with,
This has taken two years of learning how to dance I did at school in 1956, and never did any more till 2 years ago. now I do dance with other women plus we don't see an issue.
7 years ago I took over the detail of being a Boss with 15 staff under me yes I,m in charge of them the hall,s we work at and I call the shots.i also look after my staff,and I,m very whats the word , very watchfull for them more so my crew 5 of us why because we are a tight crew and work so well together.
Now I met many 100,s of men could I live with just one how would he react to what I do would he be intimindated would he feel I,m just to strong for him or to expreanced I have asked many guys over the last 4 years many ?,s concerning this some would not care a few would not like it , so you see for myself its not about can I find a guy it,s about could a guy take 2,nd place next to me ,
Yes I have needs in helping being with working with and be my lover could he step into my world and become involved now I don't have the answer for that.
All I know is I,m strong stand on my own two feet and really I don't need a guy I,m very capable by myself.yet I know would be lovely to have a guy stand next to me , my dance partner Waylon likes being with me when he canas for long term no it wont work we both know that,
|Okay I,m coming from how I see things I quess as im a female some details are different between you being a male and my self being female yet for all that we both have needs and sexual is one not having to live by our selfs some and I quess you feel the lonelness I don't though does not mean I don't need some one close , my women friends and we... ARE... very close,
the bottom line is . I joined many different group,s I work with enjoy times spent with them and I get to know them they know im not perfect and things about myself body wise and attitudes and how I go about things plus where I worked yes in the mens world, I mean what don't they know,you see I opened myself up fully and world wide,
Most people know me and that's some many 1000,s of people with in our groups 2000 member,s all know who I am and accept who I am for myself not perfect and maybe not up to how some would like me to be yet for all that I still move in very large circle.s of people yes most are women .
Now I would like a partner yes I do have one who is my dance partner so I know I can go to many dance,s and know I,ll have some one apart from his mother to dance with,
This has taken two years of learning how to dance I did at school in 1956, and never did any more till 2 years ago. now I do dance with other women plus we don't see an issue.
7 years ago I took over the detail of being a Boss with 15 staff under me yes I,m in charge of them the hall,s we work at and I call the shots.i also look after my staff,and I,m very whats the word , very watchfull for them more so my crew 5 of us why because we are a tight crew and work so well together.
Now I met many 100,s of men could I live with just one how would he react to what I do would he be intimindated would he feel I,m just to strong for him or to expreanced I have asked many guys over the last 4 years many ?,s concerning this some would not care a few would not like it , so you see for myself its not about can I find a guy it,s about could a guy take 2,nd place next to me ,
Yes I have needs in helping being with working with and be my lover could he step into my world and become involved now I don't have the answer for that.
All I know is I,m strong stand on my own two feet and really I don't need a guy I,m very capable by myself.yet I know would be lovely to have a guy stand next to me , my dance partner Waylon likes being with me when he canas for long term no it wont work we both know that,
|Okay I,m coming from how I see things I quess as im a female some details are different between you being a male and my self being female yet for all that we both have needs and sexual is one not having to live by our selfs some and I quess you feel the lonelness I don't though does not mean I don't need some one close , my women friends and we... ARE... very close,
the bottom line is . I joined many different group,s I work with enjoy times spent with them and I get to know them they know im not perfect and things about myself body wise and attitudes and how I go about things plus where I worked yes in the mens world, I mean what don't they know,you see I opened myself up fully and world wide,
Last edited by Noeleena on Thu Jan 16, 2020 1:25 am, edited 1 time in total.
-
Noeleena
- Miss Platinum Goddess
- Posts: 409
- Joined: Fri Mar 29, 2013 5:09 am
- Location: South Island, New Zealand
Re: How to meet a woman...
Nothing hidden regardless of what some may have had a say on or did not wont to accept very few did not accept who I am as a person first and 2 as a female . I went to people I told them and 97 % backed me up they knew all about my difference,s , and I never held back I went forward no looking to left or right and no way backwards, I went in to battle I had only one way fight ……. had I retreated I would have died, did learn from my Military training .oh and by the way when others dropped beside me I could not stop to check on them why had I I would have droped my own guard down and taken a shot aimed at me , your life, your not much use when dead so we carry on yes it,s tough I learned that.
...noeleena...
...noeleena...