Charlie Martin is my transwoman super hero! Here is a short interview. She really is living her life and is not stuck in a loop that starts...I am a whatever...loop...I am a whatever...loop...
https://youtu.be/fKGtQeNohu8" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
I came across this 2 minute video with a sex therapist who gets right down to delineating Cross dresser, trans and sexuality...but specifically states a cross dresser is sexually aroused by wearing women's clothing, but the misconception is that it has nothing to do with being transexual or being transgendered (seems to say that it does have something to do with being transexual or transgendered so I am confused about what he is actually saying...OH! wait a minute! I see! It is a misconception that it has anything to do with being transexual or transgender! think that is what he is saying - how he said this is not clear...I am going to ask and hope for an answer), that's about someone's sexual identity (wonder if he meant gender identity?). But this says nothing about one's sexual orientation. Our erotic templates get set when we are really young 4,5,6 years old, 10 whatever it is but when those erotic templates get set they do not really change much...might wiggle a bit, but if you are aroused by it at 6, you'll probably be aroused by it at 60.
https://youtu.be/HHfVqJWxK6c" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
It is fixed...little like how we think about being gay...or heterosexual is in a way...I do not get so aroused anymore...but there is an element of arousal in there (not physically anymore)...I am confused...I know I am a man physically and mentally...and yet....It is as if there is a partial gender identity with it. This is so spot on...it is fixed forever in childhood (the erotic template is set for life)...and there is this feeling that I am a girl as well... Maybe It is because I have been dressing my entire life? And yet... unlike my hero Charlie Martin...why do I not dress everyday all day everywhere full time? Why have I not sought out hormone therapy? I am plucking a hundred or so facial hairs every day... but have not sought professional hair removal...I do not want facial hair and hate having to shave! I have nice breast forms a variety in fact from enhancers, to foam forms, to silicon forms that cost couple hundred dollars. But why have I not sought out having implants? And Finally GRS...If I so strongly feel this way every day why not go see about having myself surgically done up so that I could have what I seem to desire which is to be a woman?
No for myself I find I am not willing to transition from dressing at home to fully and openly going out the door and letting everyone know...hey, this is who I am inside?
Maybe the part time nature of it and the fear of permanently blowing up the world as I know it and damn the consequences! Tells me what I am asking. Because If my gender identity were much more fixed all of the time toward the female side...probably like Charlie Martin's absolutely seems to be without question...that is what a trans woman is...she feels and is in every way female inside while she was stuck at birth with a male body!
I am confused because at times I feel I am a woman....but I know physically and mentally (my operating system my brain and how it functions) is male. It is fine to personally assent to myself I am a girl...but ask me if I am and I will freely tell you that I am a man because I am.
Oh well My focus is to now relax about all of this...work on allowing elements of who I am to show to others... and to return to living my life...Being a whatever I am is secondary and belongs on the back burner of my mind. Just like my hero...Charlie Martin's focus is on pursuing her life and goals...so after losing my wife in Apil 2018, and finally getting past all of this...it is time to return to living again and focusing on whatever things I desire for myself in retirement...could do anything even have a 2nd career or just travel and do what I want...sail, photography, running, etc....
Trans v Crossdresser
Moderators: KimberlyS, CathyAnn
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Anne Bonny
- Miss Diamond Goddess
- Posts: 2577
- Joined: Sat May 09, 2009 9:22 am
- Location: The Gulf Coast
Trans v Crossdresser
Go with the flow
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Jina James
- Miss Sapphire Goddess
- Posts: 73
- Joined: Tue Jan 01, 2013 9:23 pm
Re: Trans v Crossdresser
Always interesting to hear what any serious person has to say about it.
On the other hand, I don't really care what the other person says. I know how I feel, and I know who and what I am.
If the other person doesn't agree with my take, too bad for him or her. Each and every one of them can pound sand. So-called experts may well know what's true on a population basis, but none of them know what is true for me as an individual.
On the other hand, there's no reason for anyone else to care what I have to say about it either.
Let's enjoy our freedom!
On the other hand, I don't really care what the other person says. I know how I feel, and I know who and what I am.
If the other person doesn't agree with my take, too bad for him or her. Each and every one of them can pound sand. So-called experts may well know what's true on a population basis, but none of them know what is true for me as an individual.
On the other hand, there's no reason for anyone else to care what I have to say about it either.
Let's enjoy our freedom!
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KimberlyS
- Site Administrator
- Posts: 3308
- Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2004 4:01 pm
- Location: North Central USA, SD
Re: Trans v Crossdresser
My guess is if you talk to 100 CD/TG's you will get 100 different takes on what a TG versus a CD is. Be big thing is you just need to accept who you are and go on with your life. You seem to be still trying to classify your self according to others. What others think of you does not matter. It only matters that you accept who you are, PERIOD. You do not even need to classify or define who you are. Just be yourself and be. If you keep trying to classify and define yourself you will keep trying to do that until you die. As for me I have just accepted myself and gone on living my life.
kimberlys
kimberlys
Site Administrator
I am a physically male person that likes to wear feminine clothes at times.
Just trying keep a balance for my self along with keeping my wife and kids in mind.
I am a physically male person that likes to wear feminine clothes at times.
Just trying keep a balance for my self along with keeping my wife and kids in mind.
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Anne Bonny
- Miss Diamond Goddess
- Posts: 2577
- Joined: Sat May 09, 2009 9:22 am
- Location: The Gulf Coast
Re: Trans v Crossdresser
I agree with you a hundred percent. I have come to accept who I am... It is now for me to forget who I am and just go out and live my life! Embracing it! I am now about the puzzle of re entering living again after all I endured last decade caring for my wife until she was no more, moving through the initial grief and now on to my main focus start living life, feeling that I am living a life again with some purpose and gratification. I think I am on my way. Push who I happen to be out of my mind and focus of life! When you are being who you are and are out living without pondering about who you happen to be then you are where you should be. Like my hero Charlie Martin...
Go with the flow
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Eileen (SO)
- Moderator
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- Location: Near Chicago
Re: Trans v Crossdresser
Hubby and I watched the Charlie Martin clip. So a woman enjoys racing, not many do. After all the hormones and surgery, why still identify as Trans? People see a woman, so be one. Charlie should stop labeling herself as different than that of a woman. I doubt many of her fans know or care.
Clicked off the second link as soon as the 'doctor' said CD's dress for arousal. Six or eight yo boys don't get aroused. Sure there is emotional excitement, maybe arousal during teen age years when hormones are raging. As an adult, getting pretty is fulfilling a part of 'her' persona. It's no more arousing that when a woman finds a great looking dress in her size.
Anne, there are two milestones in my husbands life as a CD that she felt really happy about. First when she stopped the self analysis and just accepted herself as a guy that enjoys dressing as a woman sometimes. Second was when this wife finally understood and accepted my part time girlfriend.
The way we understand Trans vs CD is that a person truly Trans feels that gender all the time, regardless of clothing. My Terri dress up, does her shopping or whatever, and changes to guy mode. She needs the clothing to feel feminine. Being a man is not uncomfortable most of the time. Why the need to dress as a woman? Neither of us cares anymore. It's harmless and has brought us closer as a couple.
Eileen
Clicked off the second link as soon as the 'doctor' said CD's dress for arousal. Six or eight yo boys don't get aroused. Sure there is emotional excitement, maybe arousal during teen age years when hormones are raging. As an adult, getting pretty is fulfilling a part of 'her' persona. It's no more arousing that when a woman finds a great looking dress in her size.
Anne, there are two milestones in my husbands life as a CD that she felt really happy about. First when she stopped the self analysis and just accepted herself as a guy that enjoys dressing as a woman sometimes. Second was when this wife finally understood and accepted my part time girlfriend.
The way we understand Trans vs CD is that a person truly Trans feels that gender all the time, regardless of clothing. My Terri dress up, does her shopping or whatever, and changes to guy mode. She needs the clothing to feel feminine. Being a man is not uncomfortable most of the time. Why the need to dress as a woman? Neither of us cares anymore. It's harmless and has brought us closer as a couple.
Eileen
Not only a wife, a girlfriend too!
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Diana Michelle
- Miss Ruby Goddess
- Posts: 1750
- Joined: Sat Aug 09, 2014 2:17 am
- Location: Northern Michigan
Re: Trans v Crossdresser
Eileen the fact you have so openly and sincerely embraced both sides of your husband is commendable. Many CDs do not have that luxury for a variety of reasons including of fear of rejection should they come out. IMO we would be in a far better world if more wives and SOs were to at least be more accepting as you are.
I consider myself a woman who just happens to be transgendered. I do not going around advertising the fact I am TG however I do not run and hide from it as I did in my youth. I know more than a few TG women and most have a similar attitude as mine. The fact Charlie Martin continues to call herself a trans woman is not really the point anymore than the fact she enjoys auto racing. For the record I enjoy certain forms of auto racing as well but I digress here.
IMO Charlie Martin continuing to identify as trans, posting as she does, even talking of her love of auto racing is good for the community. It shows those out there that not only can a woman be feminine but also trans as well as still enjoying things normally associated with the male of the species though that has been slowly changing for years. Think Lyn St. James, Janet Guthrie, Danica Patrick, and others here. Her postings show not only can a woman do anything a man can whether she is TG or not.
Most of the TGs of my generation went stealth after surgery as there was even less understanding of TGs as well as more hatred and discrimination back then than today. Yeah I know tough to believe but true. The fact that at least some of the girls of today do not and openly embrace being TG help those struggling with the question of "Is there really a place and life out there for me?" Rather than nit picking what she opts to consider herself we should all be applauding her for the good she is doing for the entire community.
Society loves labels. Black or white, red or blue, male or female, masculine or feminine, gay or straight come to mind quickly but there are 100's if not 1000's of them out there. The cold truth is not only are we individuals but also not always do we fall into these neat labels everyone likes to use. Rather than trying to fit into one of these labels be yourself and embrace that which you are. We see the world these labels has led us to maybe it is time for a change of thought process.
I consider myself a woman who just happens to be transgendered. I do not going around advertising the fact I am TG however I do not run and hide from it as I did in my youth. I know more than a few TG women and most have a similar attitude as mine. The fact Charlie Martin continues to call herself a trans woman is not really the point anymore than the fact she enjoys auto racing. For the record I enjoy certain forms of auto racing as well but I digress here.
IMO Charlie Martin continuing to identify as trans, posting as she does, even talking of her love of auto racing is good for the community. It shows those out there that not only can a woman be feminine but also trans as well as still enjoying things normally associated with the male of the species though that has been slowly changing for years. Think Lyn St. James, Janet Guthrie, Danica Patrick, and others here. Her postings show not only can a woman do anything a man can whether she is TG or not.
Most of the TGs of my generation went stealth after surgery as there was even less understanding of TGs as well as more hatred and discrimination back then than today. Yeah I know tough to believe but true. The fact that at least some of the girls of today do not and openly embrace being TG help those struggling with the question of "Is there really a place and life out there for me?" Rather than nit picking what she opts to consider herself we should all be applauding her for the good she is doing for the entire community.
Society loves labels. Black or white, red or blue, male or female, masculine or feminine, gay or straight come to mind quickly but there are 100's if not 1000's of them out there. The cold truth is not only are we individuals but also not always do we fall into these neat labels everyone likes to use. Rather than trying to fit into one of these labels be yourself and embrace that which you are. We see the world these labels has led us to maybe it is time for a change of thought process.
Remember Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did only she did it backwards and in high heels!
The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls and tenement halls and whispered in the sounds of silence. Paul Simon
The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls and tenement halls and whispered in the sounds of silence. Paul Simon
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Anne Bonny
- Miss Diamond Goddess
- Posts: 2577
- Joined: Sat May 09, 2009 9:22 am
- Location: The Gulf Coast
Re: Trans v Crossdresser
Exactly...there is just something within that simply enjoys being who I happen to be inside. I am interested in pretty things and I enjoy them. Arousal...I remember at age 9, when I understood nothing except I would be in serious and embarrassing trouble if I were ever caught this lasted through my teens with all of the raging hormones...as I matured I began to understand sex is a part of life. I married, we had two sons, I loved my wife. But I seem to have always had this difference inside of me. It is too bad clothing is assigned to sex and so much so that if you are wearing the clothing you "are not supposed to ever wear" connotations also follow those clothes. There is some truth I suppose because I would not wear them if I did not feel as I do inside. Men are not supposed to feel as I do inside from the perspective of a woman in nearly every way and desiring the same things women do...or many of them. But why can't men feel this way? The vast majority of men do not and never will so the fact that a small percentage do is not going to effect anything in our society. In my dreams I wish I could have worn dresses as I was growing up and could have been able to play with the girls...what harm would it have been to be a daughter or a sister even as at times I was not? I have hidden this my entire life because of my family's values and beliefs. They see this as disgusting, seamy, taboo, morally wrong, not right and though I still have two sisters, one who knows but let me know she no longer wished to discuss it, the other is so stuck in the 1950's that I simply cannot do it or she would never ever get over it and would hound me or just disown me. my son's know but I present the dad image to them because I kept it from them until they were technically adults and out of High School, There are also In laws of my married son... my dead wife's family...I am not concerned about. I have come to fully accept who I am inside but I probably will not be out at this rate until I lay dying in a nursing home if I do not begin to let who I am go out the door even if just wearing studs in my ears, longish hair, and shaved legs...oh and a hairless face and longer buffed nails and thin and fit body...I am able to do that no problem. I have be able to run in women's clothing like a tee shirt and running shorts shoes and footlets because no one but I really know. I have to fight the feeling that tends to come...that I am not wearing what I am as an exhibitionist or to make a point but just because I like what I have on. This will be difficult but I am working on it.
No I am not trans... lots of trans women objectively state there is a difference between trans women and women who were born women. Men who have their body re arranged and who switch over to female hormones are in my view different they are not able to conceive become pregnant give birth and then nurse a baby. we were not raised as girls from birth either. For myself I know my mental operating system is male, I mean my brain and how it arrives at solutions differs from that of a woman's. I may in some way have a degree of whatever trans is but I am not full time...could be because I have been forced to lead my life as a man and never had the strength or the guts or the determination to declare how I am inside and then damn the torpedoes and let the chips fall once I destroyed everything in my life...relationships, career, opportunities...everything! That is the world we live in where we are considered disgusting and are banished and persecuted by many. Glad it is changing today.
This however is who I am and have always been...I accept it finally...now I need to begin to embrace it...not a problem...put it on the back burner and get back to living my life. I differ in opinion and cheer my hero Charlie Martin...because she is standing up and declaring this is who I am...she is doing that to change thinking and to improve how people think about people who are as we are. I do not support the vicious hate filled politics I see on nearly all transgender sites because I believe you create more resistance and opposition and actually impede progress. Trying to persuade, educate, and reason with people to improve understanding by how we are living our lives. That is the approach I prefer... I want to live my life and let who I happen to be just happen to be without thinking about it ... at least not too much...sure I will love certain things and how I look as my emotions flow.
I absolutely agree on labels...I just happen to be who I am inside...this whatever it is is who I happen to be as I desire to let it go out of my mind and return to living my life again...as I recover from losing my partner...find my way and return to loving and enjoying life...and the joy of being who I am inside hoping I have another chance to find someone to go out and do things with again...walking the beach, or going sailing or whatever ...together and laying together arm in arm in bed at night...well, till the heat is too much before rolling over and falling asleep.
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Hi Diana...yes...that is what I am finding or realizing here for myself. I have a hero...Charlie Martin because I absolutely well I find her to be all that I desire to be and to find within myself. She is leading and she is encouraging and challenging people and without the hyper focus I have been plagued with...who she happens to be is not front in center of every moment of her life, rather who she is is in it's proper place ... out of thought and out of mind and just is...She is actually focused on her true passions in living her life. This is exactly how I should be living my life. I am who I am ... without thinking about who I am because who I am just "is!" I have to get back to focusing on my life and on my passions in life and I hope people will just accept and take me as I am. That is the right way to live... she is a great example of who I can become...get back to being who I am and just continue living. Then, maybe I will come here and be posting about what a great day I had sailing...gee maybe with a new friend...or about how we stayed on the beach and walked and enjoyed...living.
No I am not trans... lots of trans women objectively state there is a difference between trans women and women who were born women. Men who have their body re arranged and who switch over to female hormones are in my view different they are not able to conceive become pregnant give birth and then nurse a baby. we were not raised as girls from birth either. For myself I know my mental operating system is male, I mean my brain and how it arrives at solutions differs from that of a woman's. I may in some way have a degree of whatever trans is but I am not full time...could be because I have been forced to lead my life as a man and never had the strength or the guts or the determination to declare how I am inside and then damn the torpedoes and let the chips fall once I destroyed everything in my life...relationships, career, opportunities...everything! That is the world we live in where we are considered disgusting and are banished and persecuted by many. Glad it is changing today.
This however is who I am and have always been...I accept it finally...now I need to begin to embrace it...not a problem...put it on the back burner and get back to living my life. I differ in opinion and cheer my hero Charlie Martin...because she is standing up and declaring this is who I am...she is doing that to change thinking and to improve how people think about people who are as we are. I do not support the vicious hate filled politics I see on nearly all transgender sites because I believe you create more resistance and opposition and actually impede progress. Trying to persuade, educate, and reason with people to improve understanding by how we are living our lives. That is the approach I prefer... I want to live my life and let who I happen to be just happen to be without thinking about it ... at least not too much...sure I will love certain things and how I look as my emotions flow.
I absolutely agree on labels...I just happen to be who I am inside...this whatever it is is who I happen to be as I desire to let it go out of my mind and return to living my life again...as I recover from losing my partner...find my way and return to loving and enjoying life...and the joy of being who I am inside hoping I have another chance to find someone to go out and do things with again...walking the beach, or going sailing or whatever ...together and laying together arm in arm in bed at night...well, till the heat is too much before rolling over and falling asleep.
-----------------
Hi Diana...yes...that is what I am finding or realizing here for myself. I have a hero...Charlie Martin because I absolutely well I find her to be all that I desire to be and to find within myself. She is leading and she is encouraging and challenging people and without the hyper focus I have been plagued with...who she happens to be is not front in center of every moment of her life, rather who she is is in it's proper place ... out of thought and out of mind and just is...She is actually focused on her true passions in living her life. This is exactly how I should be living my life. I am who I am ... without thinking about who I am because who I am just "is!" I have to get back to focusing on my life and on my passions in life and I hope people will just accept and take me as I am. That is the right way to live... she is a great example of who I can become...get back to being who I am and just continue living. Then, maybe I will come here and be posting about what a great day I had sailing...gee maybe with a new friend...or about how we stayed on the beach and walked and enjoyed...living.
Go with the flow
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Diana Michelle
- Miss Ruby Goddess
- Posts: 1750
- Joined: Sat Aug 09, 2014 2:17 am
- Location: Northern Michigan
Re: Trans v Crossdresser
Anne I am so glad you are starting to accept yourself and beginning to think about that next phase or your life. I and many other TGs and CDs I have talked with all say perhaps the most liberating moment of our lives was when we finally accepted this is who we are and started thinking about where do I take this and what is my next step? I am going to take dispute with something you said.
Yes there are physical differences between genetic women and trans women but neither is any more or any less a woman! As I have said many times being a woman is not about becoming pregnant, bearing children, having periods, or any other biological function any more is it about bra size. It just is! I know many women who have never had children for a variety of reasons such as the inability to or even by choice. Does that make them different in your eyes? It doesn't to me. Yes the ability to bear children would have been nice, I am long past child bearing years, it doesn't make me any more or any less a woman. I knew going in child bearing was not in the cards for me and I as well as every other TG who has undergone surgery accepted that.
Anne you are way too hung up on the differences rather than embracing the similarities. As I have told you before you seem to have way too much time on your hands to thing and dwell on things. Instead of sitting around thinking of what could have been get out and enjoy life. When out and about and you see a woman in a cute dress and thinking I wish I could look that good think that is a cute dress wonder how it would look on me. What could I do to look as good in it as she does? How would I accessorize it?
I have said this many, many times before on a wide variety of topics the greatest barrier we face is the 4 walls we build in our own mind. Time has long past to keep building those walls and start busting them down.
You address two subjects here and I am going to first address the latter then the former. No I was raised as a girl however regardless of my gender markers or how I was raised I was female. Being female is an essence that comes from within same as being male. It is not about how one was raised or what gender markers say or what the world sees it just is! I was raised as a "normal" male child and did things like play sports, enjoyed auto racing, even tried to peek up a skirt or down a blouse a time or two in my misbegotten youth. The confusion one has to cope with being cursed with gender dysphoria is something one cannot describe but those who are afflicted with it know it all too well. I embrace who I am and my femininity but would wish those feelings of self doubt and questioning who and what am I really on anyone.Anne Bonny wrote:
No I am not trans... lots of trans women objectively state there is a difference between trans women and women who were born women. Men who have their body re arranged and who switch over to female hormones are in my view different they are not able to conceive become pregnant give birth and then nurse a baby. we were not raised as girls from birth either.
Yes there are physical differences between genetic women and trans women but neither is any more or any less a woman! As I have said many times being a woman is not about becoming pregnant, bearing children, having periods, or any other biological function any more is it about bra size. It just is! I know many women who have never had children for a variety of reasons such as the inability to or even by choice. Does that make them different in your eyes? It doesn't to me. Yes the ability to bear children would have been nice, I am long past child bearing years, it doesn't make me any more or any less a woman. I knew going in child bearing was not in the cards for me and I as well as every other TG who has undergone surgery accepted that.
Anne you are way too hung up on the differences rather than embracing the similarities. As I have told you before you seem to have way too much time on your hands to thing and dwell on things. Instead of sitting around thinking of what could have been get out and enjoy life. When out and about and you see a woman in a cute dress and thinking I wish I could look that good think that is a cute dress wonder how it would look on me. What could I do to look as good in it as she does? How would I accessorize it?
I have said this many, many times before on a wide variety of topics the greatest barrier we face is the 4 walls we build in our own mind. Time has long past to keep building those walls and start busting them down.
Remember Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did only she did it backwards and in high heels!
The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls and tenement halls and whispered in the sounds of silence. Paul Simon
The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls and tenement halls and whispered in the sounds of silence. Paul Simon
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DonnaT
- Miss Great Goddess
- Posts: 8222
- Joined: Fri Sep 17, 2004 11:04 am
- Location: No. Virginia
Re: Trans v Crossdresser
The subject has been discussed here a few times.
Basically, if you say you're trans then you're trans, no matter your crossdressing status.
Basically, if you say you're trans then you're trans, no matter your crossdressing status.
DonnaT
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Anne Bonny
- Miss Diamond Goddess
- Posts: 2577
- Joined: Sat May 09, 2009 9:22 am
- Location: The Gulf Coast
Re: Trans v Crossdresser
Diana primarily and Donna....I understand what you are saying...I question what I call my "who I am sense" which is the same thing you call your essence.... Where am I in essence? No doubt my feminine is woven throughout the fabric of who I am....and I am one person mentally ... all of this is present all of the time inside my head. It is who I am. Yeah I notice a woman who looks fantastic and think about it as you have stated time to time...if they look really great.
I do have way too much time on my hands...I am dang it going to go to dance class again...ugh...I am helping my son, have to address the yard as with all the rain and moderate temps I need to mow etc, taxes coming up...tax prep, monthly finances...trying to figure a way to connect with those who are as I am that I would fit with.... as the weather warms come march probably sailing...etc, I run walk and walk the dog daily and do get out all ways to distract and to shift my mind elsewhere. Still I am worthy of scolding...sorry.
I do ascent mentally at times that I am a woman...I am a girl... I really do! But at the same time being different than the men AND the women around me for various reasons and matters of degree find I do not fit with women 100% in every way...and if asked I would freely state I am a man...I am male as objective physical fact, but I am not 100% male. My personal view is that even if I had everything done from facial feminization, trachial shaving, full GRS top and bottom with implants size B/C, hormones switched over and facial hair removal and voice training until it became second nature for me....dilation schedule for the rest of my life...maybe my orientation would find me desiring a man with all of this? Would my mental essence at this point find me feeling 100% female? I do not know. I suppose this is different for all of us. As I have stated over on youtube I came across a couple of MTF trans sexual women who stated they felt there is a difference between who they are as trans women and women who were born as women!???? I am just relaying their personal feelings as I am relaying mine from my personal perspective of where I am.
I cannot speak for your personal feelings...but I can accept your truth having now lived your life and that inside your essence has always been 100% woman. I suppose I envy you. And I accept who you are...I will no longer think of you as anything else. And I will also accept that you are not alone but that there are probably hundreds of thousands of women who have had to go through a process to fix what birth denied them.
I am not a candidate for GRS...I am an unfortunate mix I suppose but I am who I am. I accept what you have shared and yeah will understand going forward that there are women out there who are so 100% who are as you found yourself.
I do have way too much time on my hands...I am dang it going to go to dance class again...ugh...I am helping my son, have to address the yard as with all the rain and moderate temps I need to mow etc, taxes coming up...tax prep, monthly finances...trying to figure a way to connect with those who are as I am that I would fit with.... as the weather warms come march probably sailing...etc, I run walk and walk the dog daily and do get out all ways to distract and to shift my mind elsewhere. Still I am worthy of scolding...sorry.
I do ascent mentally at times that I am a woman...I am a girl... I really do! But at the same time being different than the men AND the women around me for various reasons and matters of degree find I do not fit with women 100% in every way...and if asked I would freely state I am a man...I am male as objective physical fact, but I am not 100% male. My personal view is that even if I had everything done from facial feminization, trachial shaving, full GRS top and bottom with implants size B/C, hormones switched over and facial hair removal and voice training until it became second nature for me....dilation schedule for the rest of my life...maybe my orientation would find me desiring a man with all of this? Would my mental essence at this point find me feeling 100% female? I do not know. I suppose this is different for all of us. As I have stated over on youtube I came across a couple of MTF trans sexual women who stated they felt there is a difference between who they are as trans women and women who were born as women!???? I am just relaying their personal feelings as I am relaying mine from my personal perspective of where I am.
I cannot speak for your personal feelings...but I can accept your truth having now lived your life and that inside your essence has always been 100% woman. I suppose I envy you. And I accept who you are...I will no longer think of you as anything else. And I will also accept that you are not alone but that there are probably hundreds of thousands of women who have had to go through a process to fix what birth denied them.
I am not a candidate for GRS...I am an unfortunate mix I suppose but I am who I am. I accept what you have shared and yeah will understand going forward that there are women out there who are so 100% who are as you found yourself.
Go with the flow
-
Gillian
- Miss Platinum Goddess
- Posts: 311
- Joined: Fri Mar 19, 2010 10:27 am
- Location: Alberta, Canada
Re: Trans v Crossdresser
The conflicts that can rage within our minds do sway us from day to day as to whether we are trans, or just a crossdresser. It does take time to settle into a comfortable acceptance, and even then that old conflict can still rear its ugly head.
Quote; "there is just something within that simply enjoys being who I happen to be inside. I am interested in pretty things and I enjoy them. Arousal...I remember at age 9, when I understood nothing except I would be in serious and embarrassing trouble if I were ever caught this lasted through my teens with all of the raging hormones...as I matured I began to understand sex is a part of life."
I totally get it, though my first experience was less than ideal at age 4, there was this sensual feeling that remained and drew me to it again around 12 or 13. Erotica, sensuality, mental thinking all factor in when it comes to a persons sex life. It's unfortunate that many things can factor in before an individual is aware of its potential results in their sexuality. I had no idea of knowing how my experimenting would impact my life!
Quote; "But I seem to have always had this difference inside of me."
The problem is that we are taught to conform all of our lives, 'don't rock the boat', do it this way just like everyone else.
Quote; " It is too bad clothing is assigned to sex and so much so that if you are wearing the clothing you "are not supposed to ever wear" connotations also follow those clothes. There is some truth I suppose because I would not wear them if I did not feel as I do inside."
The things that we do, usually has a lot to do with our enjoyment that comes with it. Looking back in history we see other time periods when the feminine side came out in mens clothing in the 'genteel' age. This was only available to the very rich, and many saw it only as a sign of that individuals wealth. So what is wrong with someone having a strong feminine, or masculine side within them? Nothing really, other than the whole conforming to societal norms!
Quote; "Men are not supposed to feel as I do inside from the perspective of a woman in nearly every way and desiring the same things women do...or many of them. But why can't men feel this way? The vast majority of men do not and never will so the fact that a small percentage do is not going to effect anything in our society."
Men are taught from birth to hide, or mask their feelings and to act a certain way. Conformity is very important to the military, societies live and survive by the protection that their militaries provide. Hence societies raise their men to be what they need to keep the culture and society moving forward. At times I wonder what truly would happen if men had the opportunity to let their real feelings out!
Quote; " In my dreams I wish I could have worn dresses as I was growing up and could have been able to play with the girls...what harm would it have been to be a daughter or a sister even as at times I was not?"
This speaks volumes to me. I still clearly remember this happening many times to me as I was growing up. Our next door neighbour had 4 girls, no boys, and I would often go next door and play with two of the girls that were close in age to me. When ever my dad saw me playing with them, he told me to come home and said that if I wanted to play with the girls, he would dress me as a girl. This was no threat, as in my childhood being dressed in girls clothes was a punishment that was often used. Talk about messed up thinking!
Quote; " I have come to fully accept who I am inside but I probably will not be out at this rate until I lay dying in a nursing home if I do not begin to let who I am go out the door even if just wearing studs in my ears, longish hair, and shaved legs...oh and a hairless face and longer buffed nails and thin and fit body...I am able to do that no problem."
Lets face it, the most important thing is to accept yourself, in spite of others. The only thing that you can do is find a comfortable zone in which you can move freely. Many men who some call 'metro-sexuals' wear earrings, wear their hair the way they like and trim their body hair to suit themselves. You can have a thin fit body regardless of what is going on between your ears, it just takes work and commitment!
Quote; " I have be able to run in women's clothing like a tee shirt and running shorts shoes and footlets because no one but I really know. I have to fight the feeling that tends to come...that I am not wearing what I am as an exhibitionist or to make a point but just because I like what I have on. This will be difficult but I am working on it."
Fighting that feeling is all part of self acceptance, and also coming to the point of not giving a damn about what others may think about you. Everything I have read says that you are not an exhibitionist, you just really yearn to feel comfortable with who you see yourself as being. Life is a process, not a destination, with process comes the work of living.
No one will ever really know how they might feel crossing over to the other side, transitioning. They will only know as they go through the process. What happens if they change their mind! Only you can answer for yourself.
I know that I can live happily as I am now. I know my comfort zone and know that pushing it farther, as I have done in the past has not given me what I desired, or expedient. Yea, I have my feminine side, but it fits with my masculine side to make who I am. I have just learned to show the side that fits best with who I am with.
Quote; "there is just something within that simply enjoys being who I happen to be inside. I am interested in pretty things and I enjoy them. Arousal...I remember at age 9, when I understood nothing except I would be in serious and embarrassing trouble if I were ever caught this lasted through my teens with all of the raging hormones...as I matured I began to understand sex is a part of life."
I totally get it, though my first experience was less than ideal at age 4, there was this sensual feeling that remained and drew me to it again around 12 or 13. Erotica, sensuality, mental thinking all factor in when it comes to a persons sex life. It's unfortunate that many things can factor in before an individual is aware of its potential results in their sexuality. I had no idea of knowing how my experimenting would impact my life!
Quote; "But I seem to have always had this difference inside of me."
The problem is that we are taught to conform all of our lives, 'don't rock the boat', do it this way just like everyone else.
Quote; " It is too bad clothing is assigned to sex and so much so that if you are wearing the clothing you "are not supposed to ever wear" connotations also follow those clothes. There is some truth I suppose because I would not wear them if I did not feel as I do inside."
The things that we do, usually has a lot to do with our enjoyment that comes with it. Looking back in history we see other time periods when the feminine side came out in mens clothing in the 'genteel' age. This was only available to the very rich, and many saw it only as a sign of that individuals wealth. So what is wrong with someone having a strong feminine, or masculine side within them? Nothing really, other than the whole conforming to societal norms!
Quote; "Men are not supposed to feel as I do inside from the perspective of a woman in nearly every way and desiring the same things women do...or many of them. But why can't men feel this way? The vast majority of men do not and never will so the fact that a small percentage do is not going to effect anything in our society."
Men are taught from birth to hide, or mask their feelings and to act a certain way. Conformity is very important to the military, societies live and survive by the protection that their militaries provide. Hence societies raise their men to be what they need to keep the culture and society moving forward. At times I wonder what truly would happen if men had the opportunity to let their real feelings out!
Quote; " In my dreams I wish I could have worn dresses as I was growing up and could have been able to play with the girls...what harm would it have been to be a daughter or a sister even as at times I was not?"
This speaks volumes to me. I still clearly remember this happening many times to me as I was growing up. Our next door neighbour had 4 girls, no boys, and I would often go next door and play with two of the girls that were close in age to me. When ever my dad saw me playing with them, he told me to come home and said that if I wanted to play with the girls, he would dress me as a girl. This was no threat, as in my childhood being dressed in girls clothes was a punishment that was often used. Talk about messed up thinking!
Quote; " I have come to fully accept who I am inside but I probably will not be out at this rate until I lay dying in a nursing home if I do not begin to let who I am go out the door even if just wearing studs in my ears, longish hair, and shaved legs...oh and a hairless face and longer buffed nails and thin and fit body...I am able to do that no problem."
Lets face it, the most important thing is to accept yourself, in spite of others. The only thing that you can do is find a comfortable zone in which you can move freely. Many men who some call 'metro-sexuals' wear earrings, wear their hair the way they like and trim their body hair to suit themselves. You can have a thin fit body regardless of what is going on between your ears, it just takes work and commitment!
Quote; " I have be able to run in women's clothing like a tee shirt and running shorts shoes and footlets because no one but I really know. I have to fight the feeling that tends to come...that I am not wearing what I am as an exhibitionist or to make a point but just because I like what I have on. This will be difficult but I am working on it."
Fighting that feeling is all part of self acceptance, and also coming to the point of not giving a damn about what others may think about you. Everything I have read says that you are not an exhibitionist, you just really yearn to feel comfortable with who you see yourself as being. Life is a process, not a destination, with process comes the work of living.
No one will ever really know how they might feel crossing over to the other side, transitioning. They will only know as they go through the process. What happens if they change their mind! Only you can answer for yourself.
I know that I can live happily as I am now. I know my comfort zone and know that pushing it farther, as I have done in the past has not given me what I desired, or expedient. Yea, I have my feminine side, but it fits with my masculine side to make who I am. I have just learned to show the side that fits best with who I am with.
So I concluded that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to enjoy themselves as long as they can. People should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of there labor, for these are gifts from God.
-
Anne Bonny
- Miss Diamond Goddess
- Posts: 2577
- Joined: Sat May 09, 2009 9:22 am
- Location: The Gulf Coast
Re: Trans v Crossdresser
Hi Gillian,
Thank you for your deep analysis of ever thought I expressed. I have been on here far too long today, have to stop wasting my day!!! so I will do some cutting and pasting here:
This seems to stand out as a key point. Yes, I certainly accept who I am. No...I do not believe anymore that I am male at times and female at others ... rather I am always the same inside...the concept that my female is woven throughout the fabric of who I am and is always there inside has blown my mind because it is true.. My wife's niece told me I needed to bring the two together and combine them into one...when I thought about it I realized that they are and always have been one in the same! She encouraged me to begin to allow Anne or aspects of Anne to show...I do not like thinking of my female as some kind of false persona I put on because that is inaccurate. I am always who I am inside at all times! What she was encouraging is to allow myself to express who I am even if in some small way...hair, being thin, longer nails, shaved legs...ear rings..these are easy as I already do these...though at sometimes I take the ear rings out. But showing polished nails...more jewelry or wearing a female top let alone shorts or jeans or slacks ...or skirt or dress.... May be it is like entering water that is uncomfortably cold...a little at a time until finally you are in it and saying "Hey, this is not so bad...no It's fine!" Gosh. How many times have I aspired to come close to where I am only to recoil back to denial and being full on male for a few months...before my inner female led me back to who I am again!? Well, I am here now.... I think, some who know me are sometimes surprised at how I can just suddenly jump in with both feet boldly! I don't know...not there yet...that is something that is possible for me to do...but I am at the point where I am working up to it all.
I am a work in progress... yes step 3-4 (acceptance...comfort) ...yeah only I will get there.
https://youtu.be/CKslaWxfVZw" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; Though my super hero is Charlie Martin an autoracer over on youtube...she is just so beautiful and out living her life to the full... she is way outside of my league but I can aspire to be like her in how I live my life. Jennifer is very similar to where I am and hope to be...I think If my endpoint comes out like Jennifer it would be a wonderful thing. She is honest and straight forward. She is a former Airline Pilot. I have to rediscover my passions and get back into living my life...I am not an auto racer but I do enjoy sailing and intend to do more of that this spring and summer aboard my Morgan 25, Felicity...after Mrs Felicity Kendal an actress from the UK who I always thought was a knock out back in the late 70's and 80's when she was younger.
Bye, hugs, Anne
Thank you for your deep analysis of ever thought I expressed. I have been on here far too long today, have to stop wasting my day!!! so I will do some cutting and pasting here:
This seems to stand out as a key point. Yes, I certainly accept who I am. No...I do not believe anymore that I am male at times and female at others ... rather I am always the same inside...the concept that my female is woven throughout the fabric of who I am and is always there inside has blown my mind because it is true.. My wife's niece told me I needed to bring the two together and combine them into one...when I thought about it I realized that they are and always have been one in the same! She encouraged me to begin to allow Anne or aspects of Anne to show...I do not like thinking of my female as some kind of false persona I put on because that is inaccurate. I am always who I am inside at all times! What she was encouraging is to allow myself to express who I am even if in some small way...hair, being thin, longer nails, shaved legs...ear rings..these are easy as I already do these...though at sometimes I take the ear rings out. But showing polished nails...more jewelry or wearing a female top let alone shorts or jeans or slacks ...or skirt or dress.... May be it is like entering water that is uncomfortably cold...a little at a time until finally you are in it and saying "Hey, this is not so bad...no It's fine!" Gosh. How many times have I aspired to come close to where I am only to recoil back to denial and being full on male for a few months...before my inner female led me back to who I am again!? Well, I am here now.... I think, some who know me are sometimes surprised at how I can just suddenly jump in with both feet boldly! I don't know...not there yet...that is something that is possible for me to do...but I am at the point where I am working up to it all.
I am a work in progress... yes step 3-4 (acceptance...comfort) ...yeah only I will get there.
https://youtu.be/CKslaWxfVZw" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; Though my super hero is Charlie Martin an autoracer over on youtube...she is just so beautiful and out living her life to the full... she is way outside of my league but I can aspire to be like her in how I live my life. Jennifer is very similar to where I am and hope to be...I think If my endpoint comes out like Jennifer it would be a wonderful thing. She is honest and straight forward. She is a former Airline Pilot. I have to rediscover my passions and get back into living my life...I am not an auto racer but I do enjoy sailing and intend to do more of that this spring and summer aboard my Morgan 25, Felicity...after Mrs Felicity Kendal an actress from the UK who I always thought was a knock out back in the late 70's and 80's when she was younger.
Bye, hugs, Anne
Go with the flow
-
Gillian
- Miss Platinum Goddess
- Posts: 311
- Joined: Fri Mar 19, 2010 10:27 am
- Location: Alberta, Canada
Re: Trans v Crossdresser
Quote; " My wife's niece told me I needed to bring the two together and combine them into one...when I thought about it I realized that they are and always have been one in the same! She encouraged me to begin to allow Anne or aspects of Anne to show.."
Wow, that is what I was hoping to hear from you. People are a multi-faceted being, and to deny a part of oneself can be harmful to the complete person.
Quote; "What she was encouraging is to allow myself to express who I am even if in some small way...hair, being thin, longer nails, shaved legs...ear rings..these are easy as I already do these...though at sometimes I take the ear rings out. But showing polished nails...more jewelry or wearing a female top let alone shorts or jeans or slacks ...or skirt or dress...."
The clothes are one part of your feminine persona, there are parts that you need to let out in other tastes and habits. By example, I am a sucker for romantic comedies, and I am not afraid to cry. Some traits come out in some of my past times, etc.
Don't be afraid of who you are!
Wow, that is what I was hoping to hear from you. People are a multi-faceted being, and to deny a part of oneself can be harmful to the complete person.
Quote; "What she was encouraging is to allow myself to express who I am even if in some small way...hair, being thin, longer nails, shaved legs...ear rings..these are easy as I already do these...though at sometimes I take the ear rings out. But showing polished nails...more jewelry or wearing a female top let alone shorts or jeans or slacks ...or skirt or dress...."
The clothes are one part of your feminine persona, there are parts that you need to let out in other tastes and habits. By example, I am a sucker for romantic comedies, and I am not afraid to cry. Some traits come out in some of my past times, etc.
Don't be afraid of who you are!
So I concluded that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to enjoy themselves as long as they can. People should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of there labor, for these are gifts from God.
-
Anne Bonny
- Miss Diamond Goddess
- Posts: 2577
- Joined: Sat May 09, 2009 9:22 am
- Location: The Gulf Coast
Re: Trans v Crossdresser
Gee....I am much farther along with all of this than I have EVER been in my entire life!! I am sleeping in feminine sleepwear, getting up and dressing in feminine things, putting on make up more often, wearing my jewelry and am buying more. I pluck 267 facial hairs every morning...which is what the maintenance is if you do not opt for permanent professional hair removal...which...I might opt for at some point. Longer hair...you know I am starting to worry with my sister coming...or when I go dancing...someone sucked me back into that with a different group of people. When I go to walk around the casino...this hair ... and at times at home I look and think...it's not that long! What are you worried about!? But as you know the male mindset....maybe you never ever felt this way ever...and if so for yourself it is so long ago...but for a lot of men small changes make them self conscious about it...yet I dye my hair on and off all the time and do not worry about it. This time I am going to resist cutting it back because it is now long enough to arrange in a true feminine style!
This time ...there is never ever going to be any retreat into the male for several months because I realize my female is woven into the fabric that is who I am. I am like men and women but I am not the same as men and women either...I am a man who feels and who ascents to his self that "I am a woman." I came across a person who calls herself Jennifer Sometimes on FB, and who has a Crossdress Travel video show on youtube. He feels kind of stale in a way as if his thinking is a little behind the times, yet I see in a lot of ways I am very similar to her! With her Free to be She... He is very straight forward, very real...that she is a heterosexual cross dressing male who freely goes out while sometimes still dressing male...just who they are. I recognize this as being very similar to who I am.
I do not know what my end point will be. All the hormones and procedures seem something I do not see for myself. hum...implants? ever? I think it would be kind of nice to be a B...C forms seem heavy and kind of in the way...Around the house I use enhancers in a A cup bra and sometimes without the enhancers.... Permanent hair removal is not out of the question...I hate shaving and have never tried to grow facial hair...maybe as a teen I tried to develop some fuzz on my upper lip for a month or so but I am too much of a girl I think to want this for myself. I see men and think...I am not like you and I do not want to be...
I looked alright yesterday until I looked in the mirror and the image was shattered....I have no hips, no backside, no thighs as women most definitely do! It is so disappointing to look at my straight line figure that starts under my arms and continues down to my crotch and thin runners legs! my broad shoulders...but then I thought about Jennifer and realized ... well ... I am a man who is a woman so...it is alright to not look the same as women do. I was watching a video by another transgender who is pre op but who is the same height as myself, who is self conscious about the width of her shoulders...she has had hair removal, and is on hormones so her "thing" no longer works but who states the sex is wonderful with her boyfriend. She is planning on transition but she is still tucking and hiding (I do not worry about that...when a skirt or a flowie top covers without discomfort and gives me the illusion of hips with an A-line or full skirt or dress. Perfection is not necessary... But this person looked amazing! she was very pretty and was the same size as myself though I believe is at least 30+ years younger than me. She stated you can feminize at ANY age it is never too late...even in your 60s, 80's at 100! so that was encouraging.
Right...heros are good but as I was telling ...messaging my wife's cousin...I follow along pretty much as I feel led internally, but I exercise good judgement too so that I stay within the rails of what I am able to accept right now. The bars came into my mind as a maybe desire wise...but being an non smoking, mostly vegan now, and a very rare drinker all due to not wanting lung cancer or copd for one but for the calories for the other... I do not go out to eat very much at all because of the calories! my girl watches her figure because she strongly desires being fit and thin and healthy! I have never visited or ever hung out in bars. It is just not me! But to possibly make a contact or two???? I may consider it. The dancing crowd I have a very strong sense would have a very strong disapproval of who I am even though I am able to receive their approval because I am able to appear as a man...sad isn't it!? But who knows...there could be a woman or maybe two there who would be able to embrace me? I just doubt it in a crowd of older unattached women that anyone like myself are anyone they would be open to ...but you never know....Oh...and Charlie Martin is my super star idol of where I wish I could be. Though I sail not auto race. Anne
Yes Gillian... there is a Santa Claus... not sure why I wanted to say that...does not have anything to do with anything. I am not exactly sure and...have no wish to enumerate or to try to even give a partial list of traits or ways in which I am as women are... as I have given up labels....I also give up on anything like that as well. All I can say is that I am definitely a man...and only to myself mentally do I ascent to myself that I am a woman...if people want to accept me and be kind with feminine pronouns, using my female name, referring to me as a woman...especially when the juices are flowing inside being in a great mood on a sunny day...I will soak it in and cherish it! But if asked I will freely admit ... hey, yeah, obviously I have a male body...yeah I am a guy but where I am inside is wherever and whoever I happen to be. All I can say is it is woven throughout the fabric of who I am. I am as women are but also am as men are too in some ways...just as I am different from both groups as well in some ways and it is fine! This is who I happen to be! yea! done!
This time ...there is never ever going to be any retreat into the male for several months because I realize my female is woven into the fabric that is who I am. I am like men and women but I am not the same as men and women either...I am a man who feels and who ascents to his self that "I am a woman." I came across a person who calls herself Jennifer Sometimes on FB, and who has a Crossdress Travel video show on youtube. He feels kind of stale in a way as if his thinking is a little behind the times, yet I see in a lot of ways I am very similar to her! With her Free to be She... He is very straight forward, very real...that she is a heterosexual cross dressing male who freely goes out while sometimes still dressing male...just who they are. I recognize this as being very similar to who I am.
I do not know what my end point will be. All the hormones and procedures seem something I do not see for myself. hum...implants? ever? I think it would be kind of nice to be a B...C forms seem heavy and kind of in the way...Around the house I use enhancers in a A cup bra and sometimes without the enhancers.... Permanent hair removal is not out of the question...I hate shaving and have never tried to grow facial hair...maybe as a teen I tried to develop some fuzz on my upper lip for a month or so but I am too much of a girl I think to want this for myself. I see men and think...I am not like you and I do not want to be...
I looked alright yesterday until I looked in the mirror and the image was shattered....I have no hips, no backside, no thighs as women most definitely do! It is so disappointing to look at my straight line figure that starts under my arms and continues down to my crotch and thin runners legs! my broad shoulders...but then I thought about Jennifer and realized ... well ... I am a man who is a woman so...it is alright to not look the same as women do. I was watching a video by another transgender who is pre op but who is the same height as myself, who is self conscious about the width of her shoulders...she has had hair removal, and is on hormones so her "thing" no longer works but who states the sex is wonderful with her boyfriend. She is planning on transition but she is still tucking and hiding (I do not worry about that...when a skirt or a flowie top covers without discomfort and gives me the illusion of hips with an A-line or full skirt or dress. Perfection is not necessary... But this person looked amazing! she was very pretty and was the same size as myself though I believe is at least 30+ years younger than me. She stated you can feminize at ANY age it is never too late...even in your 60s, 80's at 100! so that was encouraging.
Right...heros are good but as I was telling ...messaging my wife's cousin...I follow along pretty much as I feel led internally, but I exercise good judgement too so that I stay within the rails of what I am able to accept right now. The bars came into my mind as a maybe desire wise...but being an non smoking, mostly vegan now, and a very rare drinker all due to not wanting lung cancer or copd for one but for the calories for the other... I do not go out to eat very much at all because of the calories! my girl watches her figure because she strongly desires being fit and thin and healthy! I have never visited or ever hung out in bars. It is just not me! But to possibly make a contact or two???? I may consider it. The dancing crowd I have a very strong sense would have a very strong disapproval of who I am even though I am able to receive their approval because I am able to appear as a man...sad isn't it!? But who knows...there could be a woman or maybe two there who would be able to embrace me? I just doubt it in a crowd of older unattached women that anyone like myself are anyone they would be open to ...but you never know....Oh...and Charlie Martin is my super star idol of where I wish I could be. Though I sail not auto race. Anne
Yes Gillian... there is a Santa Claus... not sure why I wanted to say that...does not have anything to do with anything. I am not exactly sure and...have no wish to enumerate or to try to even give a partial list of traits or ways in which I am as women are... as I have given up labels....I also give up on anything like that as well. All I can say is that I am definitely a man...and only to myself mentally do I ascent to myself that I am a woman...if people want to accept me and be kind with feminine pronouns, using my female name, referring to me as a woman...especially when the juices are flowing inside being in a great mood on a sunny day...I will soak it in and cherish it! But if asked I will freely admit ... hey, yeah, obviously I have a male body...yeah I am a guy but where I am inside is wherever and whoever I happen to be. All I can say is it is woven throughout the fabric of who I am. I am as women are but also am as men are too in some ways...just as I am different from both groups as well in some ways and it is fine! This is who I happen to be! yea! done!
Go with the flow