We are who we are

[Anne Bonny]

This...whatever I am is a personal and private concern to myself. It does not make any sense having a male body to desire to wear clothing specifically cut and designed to hug the female body form ... that is something the cis gendered world is not able to understand...not sure I can really explain it either...it appears not to make any logical sense and most dismiss this unwilling to even try.

I do not want women's clothing cut and designed to fit the male body form. Mentally something some strange power inside my brain is telling me this is how I am...female...even as I obviously am male physically and mentally too to some extent so that these clothes are appropriate for me. It is true women's clothing is frequently very beautiful but much of what women wear is utilitarian...Jeans, shorts, t shirts, polo shirts, button down tailored shirts I desire these as well because of how I feel inside because of who I happen to be. These clothes are made of soft stretchy at times or lacy silky sensuous materials that tend to be a bit lighter and they are definitely more colorful and the styling is much more than what men wear. The variety of colors, styles, options to enhance our bodies and help us to feel more attractive and beautiful and feminine is not there for men.

I am at a loss to explain whatever it is inside of my brain that is tweaked female...there are studies that verify it has to do with timing and surges in the hormones of our mother as we are developing inside of them prior to birth and that parts of our brain develop female rather than male to some degree. As this goes...on the scale it can range from mild to moderate...to fully trans sexual ... a female brain inside a male body.

I do not care what people think of me...seems I was being somewhat teased in dance class last night about my sexuality...serious or not I am not sure...have they googled me or come across photos or comments of mine on the internet? I do not care...I cannot help being who I am or feeling that I want what I want in a female partner...a fully accepting woman who loves who I am and who I also love for who she is...anything wrong with that? No. I do slide into male clothing even though inside I am always who I am...