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You know...I am who I am...inside, while outside I am a bit of a chameleon which depends on where my head happens to be on any particular day or at any particular time. Who I am...does not mean anything else about me changes...my political views, my interests or desires or how I choose to live my life. My heroes in the "transgender, or whatever it is we are, world" are those for whom, who they happen to be, is placed in the right perspective as just a matter of fact in the back of our head, as we get on with living our life! That is why I really admire Charlie Martin, the The British race car driver. It is when we settle for ourselves "yes...this is who I am"...we can then say "ok, that is settled" and now I am getting on with my life"! Who we happen to be is not our life! If we myopically focus on who we are we will never move on as she did to be a great race car driver...or whatever else we are in life... tinker, tailor, soldier, spy... Oh...yeah, I'm a woman...so what!? or whatever...personally I am a chameleon because depending on where my head is I may appear one way or another...but this is only who I happen to be...and this fact is not who I am or who I ever was in life! Life does go on for us...so go out and be great at it...a tour director, author, physician...whatever! Get on with your life!!!

Evening .
Getting on with life or is it living for who you are maybe at age 10 I knew who I was a bit presumptuous
for some I quess it is, yet for those of us who know things its not. some of us can see way ahead of our self,s and I did ,I wont say in every detail or how you could say having some of your life planed out for you and you know to follow that way,

Oh..... yes many things or details are seen for what they are on ether side of you as you travel along you can stop and change track,s or just carry on , and yes there were some nice thing,s I could track off to and then loop back later or maybe another track yes in some ways was left to me to decide.

I allways knew I could head back to where I was heading and I also knew it was my safe place to be, or in some peoples idear it was not there,s ,

The get on with it....I started when I was 10 and for the next 62 till now I am still getting on with it any changes for myself are miner and I can choose yes or no and the NO is it,s not a bother,it does not change how I am or living my life ,

Could I live in a different way , I really don't see a need I,m ...HAPPY...content have what I needand my close lovely friends,most are women and the few men are tag along,s because they are my friends partner,s in most part,

And the most importaint part is I am who I am and how I,m living life is great

...noeleena...

Congratulations Anne! I am so happy you have finally found and embraced yourself for who you are! For me it was one of the if not the most liberating moment of my life. Even more so than kicking off your heels then shedding my pantyhose and bra after 12 plus hours in them on a hot, humid summer day though that can feel pretty damned liberating at the moment. The peace one feels as you look in the mirror every morning and say to yourself "This is me and I am not only comfortable with that but welcome it" is beyond description.

Where you go from here and what you do when you get there next is entirely up to you. It can be returning to nursing or a second career or volunteering or taking up sky diving or sitting on the porch with a beer in your hand watching the sun go down every evening. The possibilities are endless limited only by your imagination and desire and the choice totally up to you. Everyone needs a purpose in their life and what it is you do is not important but that you do is.

Enjoy the smashing down of the walls in your mind and the sweet smell of the satisfaction of being able to say this is who I am and am proud of it. Where you go and what you do with that is up to you for the life before you is a clean slate waiting for you to write your future history on it. I look forward to hearing where you go with your new found confidence and freedom and what that history will be.

Anne like you I struggled to accept who I was. While I acknowledged some may be like that I kept telling myself that is not me. Even after coming to the realization that is who I was as well I continued to question why? Many a night I would lie awake or at best half doze my mind full of questions and no answers. Then came that fateful night in a session with my therapist. To this day not sure why or what the ultimate trigger was but I said "Yes this is who I am regardless of what others see or think! What do I need to do to live the life I should be?"

As soon as those words left my mouth I felt like the weight of the world had been lifted from my shoulders. My therapist smiled when I told her but told me to go home and sleep on it just to be sure. For the first time in a month or more I slept like a baby and when I got to the office that following morning I called my therapist and told her "Yes I'm sure." As Diana said it was perhaps the most liberating moment of my life.

Take a moment and a deep breath to savor the feeling. There is no rush to make any hard and fast decisions to where this all leads. The possibilities are limitless but wherever it goes make sure it is right for you. Should you find the path you initially choose not be the right one there is no shame in saying "Oops I goofed" and trying a different one. TBH it may be best to try a dual or even multi path approach to see what piques your interest.

In a way life is like a diary. We can look back at where we were but when we turn to that page dated tomorrow it is blank. It stares back at us completely void of words or images waiting patiently for us to write that day's history so it can become where we were and move onto the next page.