How has crossdressing impacted my life and marriage

[Anne Bonny]

I am widowed 2.5 years now and though this is not directly related to marriage talks about that area the main thrust is how it has impacted my life. These are responses to Paola's crossdressing site. I like her site because I believe we are quite similar. I believe I am a crossdresser...but am recently feeling there is not a thing wrong with being a transvestite or transgender. I think all of these labels tend to run together but I also believe labels are counterproductive. After all I just happen to be who I am inside all the time. I just happen to lean and relax into whatever state but I really do enjoy being a girl and feeling feminine...women really do too turns out so this is not something only we experience. How many women are fascinated with make up and dresses and enjoy every part of being a woman!? I have observed this back when I was working...women handing around magazines and catalogues, doing hair, getting manicures, and pedicures...etc so loving it all does not make this anything but enjoying our being who we are inside...

Anyway how has being a girl impacted my life?

I do believe being this way definitely impacts my life. It means spending time when feeling feminine alone. It impacts trying to find someone because I know most all women are absolutely going to run the other way if they know who I really am. I find I gravitate toward women and do not really like being with men. I have absolutely learned how women are treated by men, and even by other women at times. I do believe my ability to connect with women my understanding of women has expanded tremendously...so that is a really really good thing.

How has this impacted intimacy?

A lesbian desires a genetic woman. BI women either a genetic woman or a genetic man...period. Conventional women are not ever going to be turned on or desire a trans or transgender partner when being intimate. They may accept and love you being who you are as long as you do not expect more. There are a few women who are able or do desire us if you have found one hold on to her! I need this and feel as if I am not getting what I desire if there is not equal time (yes, I love and am able to love a woman as a man...I was married we had and I still have two sons) because I need to feel loved too. I am submissive and desire to give myself to a partner for her satisfaction in me, and I in her. Someone told me Doms may be a place to consider I suppose because there is a range there. I only desire someone who loves me...equal time is all... no whips and chains for me. Yeah Personally I desire a female partner who is fully enthusiastically accepting and encouraging helpful too. Who will help me achieve my best potential as a woman...but who also enjoys having me around as that guy eases in when my mind shifts and leans in that direction...difficult to explain because all of who I am is always present in my head. I would absolutely melt if she were to coax me leading me out the door, supporting me and holding my hand as I make the transition to being fully and openly out to everyone everywhere... yeah, do not hold my breath....but I can dream. I am out to some...and am really glad to have women friends who do not mind at all.


I believe people like I am make up a small percentage of both sexes...in terms of labels just to get the idea across clearly there are and always have been tomboys and sissies if you take these terms and for a minute reject the mean spirited negative connotations or slur using them can imply. ok erase these labels... there are men and women who are just opposite spirited mentally...men who tend toward women-hood, and women who tend toward manhood even while still being men and women. Too bad most people cannot get this through their head and allow us to enter as a normal part of society because this is exactly who we are. We just happen to be as we are and always will be. Just as our sex was never a choice, neither is who we happen to be inside!