Feelings

How are you dealing with or handling this aspect of your life?

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Danielle La Belle
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Feelings

Post by Danielle La Belle »

I find this a rather mixed bag of feelings at different times. Having extensive experience in psychology related matters, I know from my studies that this is not unusual.

For the most part, I have just decided to accept myself for now and try to keep a cool head. Nothing to dangerous or out of the way. Being a non-smoker and non-drinker of alcohol, I can say that for the most part I remain in control of my personal self.

I like to think that I take responsibility for my actions and manage to accept both personalites on par. I know there will be days when I am down etc., but that is really a common human trait for anyone. 8)
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Post by Shannon »

Those are good ways of accepting this Danielle.... Stated very well.

I myself find coping to be a major problem. It causes difficulties with my wife (because I hide things from her) and it just makes me tense.... I have spent 30 some years being told boys wear pants and girls wear dresses, and sluts wear what I like to wear.... :lol: :lol:

How we cope and accept ourselves is why I wanted to start this forum.

Thanks for telling your feelings on the topic.
Danielle La Belle
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Post by Danielle La Belle »

There is a reported 30% suicide rate among the T* community. I think that if this is reasonably accurate, it reflects those with GDS. Those that desire a physical change to accomodate their internal wiring.

While it is difficult to accurately separate any of us in the community, there are clear and distinct attributes to each sector. Those attributes are what we try to cope with. Some are exhibitionists, even prostitutes, while others are "ladies" and try to maintain a higher standard of existence.

A desire to be one way and then to switch back to another. Since we cannot simply "ride" the fence, we need the experience of both genders. This makes coping of course complex in that it involves not only ourselves but our families and loved ones as well.

I have found deciding that I am this way was the first najor step in accepting myself. I can, at will, control my personal need to change better than if I do not accept the responsibility of this difference. So coping skills are developed and honed by both experience over time and concern for others in the family. There can be a positive result if we take others into consideration and set aside our own self-interests.
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Alexandra
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Post by Alexandra »

"There is a reported 30% suicide rate among the T* community." :?: :?:

Are you sure? that's almost one out of every three. I don't know of ANY t suicide.
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RikkiOfLA
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Post by RikkiOfLA »

Accurate statistics about our community are very difficult to come by.

For starters, who's in our community?

The occasional crossdresser? The post op TS? The intersexed? The CD who is so closeted he doesn't want anyone, even a survey, to report his existence? The guy who put on his wife's panties just once? :oops:

Recent post-op transsexuals have an incredibly high rate of suicide--it's acutally over 50%! :x (that is what I've read). Crossdressers are lower. 30% sounds more like the rate for transsexuals during transition and the first 5 years after.
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Post by Alexandra »

R, I'm still skeptical of the figures . . . :shock: if post-op transexuals had a 50% suicide rate, researchers would be jumping all over the opportunity to research and publish their findings of this gross abnormality. If I was a PhD student, I know I would be. Further, one would think doctors that perform the surgery would be publishing their own findings (case studies).

I'll concede that pre/post TS, and maybe even CDs might be prone to a slightly higher suicide rate perhaps mainly due to society's rejection (or even ridicule) of one's choice for an alternative lifestyle.

I'll also agree with Rikki that sats are a bit hard to come by.
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Post by Alexandra »

j sez: "WHY? should I bow to a society that may change its approval of what i can or can't do. I will do as I please and if someone has a problem with that , Well! it's their problem let them handle it. As for me I don't have a problem. those that do I can only say " Get over it "

me: Good for you! =D>
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Danielle La Belle
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Post by Danielle La Belle »

Throughout recorded history, there have been leaders and followers. They come dressed in many different styles and colors. Least we forget, if you associate yourself with the T* community, you automatically adopt the fundamental rule of adopting a social set of rules, regardless of their formal/informal nature, written/unwritten bylaws.

We all belong and conform to something. Religion, politics, it matters not. At some point in time, we all subscribe to what we have caome to believe is the "truth." Your "truth" is, "if they do not like it so what." The condition that one uses to explain away or to dismiss another point of view, betrays them. They follow a minority group of people that historically often have or will at some point, violate a civil law that the majority has found to be practical if not social moral.

To play the role of "rebel with/without a cause" is only a disguise used by those that often cannot commit to a popular point of view, regardless of it being morally right or wrong. There are no individual thinkers any more. All of the individual thoughts have been consigned to someone else. Original thought is more hard to come by than moon dust on earth.

For myself, I am not without error or mistake. I am interested in what others think for those very others are myself when the topic suits me. eg. "When someone attacks my self-worth or my sense of "truth."" To argue is one thing, to form a sound argument and to debate this is completely another. The likes of Plato, Aristotle and others of similar mind, laid bare the conflict that exisits in humanity; that their should and is a difference with just punching holes in the air, throwing fists of energy that merely distort the very concept of the legacy of original thought.
Ignorance and misfortune play a significant role in the lives of far to many. It becomes both a choice and a way of life. The key word is "choice." What say anyone, ponder this and form a sound argument for all to cherrish. :idea:
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Danielle La Belle
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Post by Danielle La Belle »

A famous dog once said, "give me something that I can chew on, toss me a bone so that I can debate with myself it's value."

Statistics represent collected data that have been applied to accepted norms. Formulaes that can extract from the data, provide a meaningful representation of a select group of data, whereby we as a society can understand and relate to the final result.

10%, 20%, 30%, of what? Without having a more meaningful tally of those that represent a specific group, does seem non-relational at best.

Coping can mean many things. Perhaps others will share their own philosophy.
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Alexandra
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Post by Alexandra »

Danielle La Belle wrote:Coping can mean many things. Perhaps others will share their own philosophy.
Okay, how about this: Being transgendered is a gift.

Hmm?
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Post by Danielle La Belle »

Main Entry: 1gift
Pronunciation: 'gift
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Old Norse, something given, talent; akin to Old English giefan to give
Date: 12th century
1 : a notable capacity, talent, or endowment
2 : something voluntarily transferred by one person to another without compensation
3 : the act, right, or power of giving
synonyms GIFT, FACULTY, APTITUDE, BENT, TALENT, GENIUS, KNACK mean a special ability for doing something. GIFT often implies special favor by God or nature <the gift of singing beautifully>. FACULTY applies to an innate or less often acquired ability for a particular accomplishment or function <a faculty for remembering names>. APTITUDE implies a natural liking for some activity and the likelihood of success in it <a mechanical aptitude>. BENT is nearly equal to APTITUDE but it stresses inclination perhaps more than specific ability <a family with an artistic bent>. TALENT suggests a marked natural ability that needs to be developed <has enough talent to succeed>. GENIUS suggests impressive inborn creative ability <has no great genius for poetry>. KNACK implies a comparatively minor but special ability making for ease and dexterity in performance <the knack of getting along>.

Okay. A gift from whom and for what purpose if any? Choose either question carefully. Two roads, a thousand possibilities for consideration. Life is a continuous chess game, your move.
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Post by Alexandra »

A gift from our genes. purpose: unknown, but obviously has something to do with the survival of our species.
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Danielle La Belle
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Post by Danielle La Belle »

Main Entry: 1spe·cies
Pronunciation: 'spE-(")shEz, -(")sEz
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural species
Etymology: Middle English, from Latin, appearance, kind, species, from specere to look -- more at SPY
Date: 14th century
1 a : KIND, SORT b : a class of individuals having common attributes and designated by a common name; specifically : a logical division of a genus or more comprehensive class c : the human race : human beings -- often used with the <survival of the species in the nuclear age> d (1) : a category of biological classification ranking immediately below the genus or subgenus, comprising related organisms or populations potentially capable of interbreeding, and being designated by a binomial that consists of the name of a genus followed by a Latin or latinized uncapitalized noun or adjective agreeing grammatically with the genus name (2) : an individual or kind belonging to a biological species e : a particular kind of atomic nucleus, atom, molecule, or ion
2 : the consecrated eucharistic elements of the Roman Catholic or Eastern Orthodox Eucharist
3 a : a mental image; also : a sensible object b : an object of thought correlative with a natural object

"A gift from our genes. purpose: unknown, but obviously has something to do with the survival of our species."

A girl that likes to play it safe. Most appreciated. Moving a pawn is a good opening. Safe, reliable, and considerate.

Within our "species" two predominant players exisit. Male and female. While their are a host of combinations, these two categories have been specifically defined by a formulae and thus are considered the "population majority."

Each of the two groups contributes 23 chromosomes for a total of 46 to reproduce one of like species. Again, the majority of the time among the populace. There are exceptions not being considered at this time.

My argument: if all members of the species that consider themselves CD/TS/TG/TV, were not born, would the species not survive without these differences? Since they are considerd an exception to the formulae, a variation or violation of the traditional concept, then we may well be called "mutations." The concept of being "blessed" is often used to explain away these very mutations and to place a positive slant on their existence by those that seem to be most affected.

example:
Main Entry: mu·ta·tion
Pronunciation: myü-'tA-sh&n
Function: noun
Date: 14th century
1 : a significant and basic alteration : CHANGE
2 : UMLAUT
3 a : a relatively permanent change in hereditary material involving either a physical change in chromosome relations or a biochemical change in the codons that make up genes; also : the process of producing a mutation b : an individual strain or trait resulting from mutation

Your move. :)
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Post by Alexandra »

"would the species not survive without these differences?"

That's right. There is a reason for "mutations". Some of these may actually be better at surviving any given new conditions that is foisted on the human race by the enviornment, thus it ensures survival of our species. We cannot know exactly which specific mutation we're gonna need in the future, so therefore, we need them ALL!
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Danielle La Belle
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Post by Danielle La Belle »

Well, you have me there. NOT. :lol:

I think that we are confusing mutation with evolution.

Main Entry: evo·lu·tion
Pronunciation: "e-v&-'lü-sh&n, "E-v&-
Function: noun
Etymology: Latin evolution-, evolutio unrolling, from evolvere
Date: 1622
1 : one of a set of prescribed movements
2 a : a process of change in a certain direction : UNFOLDING b : the action or an instance of forming and giving something off : EMISSION c (1) : a process of continuous change from a lower, simpler, or worse to a higher, more complex, or better state : GROWTH (2) : a process of gradual and relatively peaceful social, political, and economic advance d : something evolved
3 : the process of working out or developing
4 a : the historical development of a biological group (as a race or species) : PHYLOGENY b : a theory that the various types of animals and plants have their origin in other preexisting types and that the distinguishable differences are due to modifications in successive generations
5 : the extraction of a mathematical root
6 : a process in which the whole universe is a progression of interrelated phenomena.

As we evolve from primitive man to 21st century man, we have developed a far ranging scope of abilities. Some better than others of course. But, into life some rain/radiation must fall. Mutation for the most part is considered an unwanted altercation from a working formulae that is for the most part considered estranged and outcast.

My point: For now, and most likely for the foreseeable future, man will never have the ability to give life. This is and always will be a female attribute. Yes, their is the "test-tube" baby but really, that still does not make men capable of giving birth.

There may very well be a hierarchy of values that we can rely on to ascert our continuation as a species, but, mutational value will always be considered a deviation from the accepted norm.

Thus the word deviant and how it has been attached to our community.

Main Entry: de·vi·ant
Pronunciation: -&nt
Function: adjective
Date: 15th century
: deviating especially from an accepted norm <deviant behavior>
- deviant noun

We as a community may not like this term and consider it condescending to our value in this society.

Main Entry: con·de·scend
Pronunciation: "kän-di-'send
Function: intransitive verb
Etymology: Middle English, from Middle French condescendre, from Late Latin condescendere, from Latin com- + descendere to descend
Date: 14th century
1 a : to descend to a less formal or dignified level : UNBEND b : to waive the privileges of rank
2 : to assume an air of superiority

Recently reported in the U.S. News & World Report, it is being considered that during an economic crisis, more girls than boys are born. In addition, a study in England during World War II demonstrated that there was an unusually high about of births that could be considered gender (sex) questionable. This is where "mutation" may well reside. If everyone has 46 chromosomes and someone pops up with 47, we call that a "mutation" or deviation from the normal populace. It is not meant to degrade, just a quantifying method of where this particular person fits on the scale of heredity and of course statistics.

The perception of conditions that are related to an elevated stress level may really be the primer for our communities existience. Just hypothetical but still, gaining credibility among the medical and academic communities which includes a minority from our own community as well. :|

Please, nothing about those mutant ninja turtles....!!! :lol:
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