What is the underlying reason for you?
Moderators: KimberlyS, CathyAnn
- Bethany
- Miss Crystal Goddess
- Posts: 23
- Joined: Thu Jan 11, 2007 1:40 am
- Location: Missouri
What is the underlying reason for you?
I've personally known some other cd's over the years, and I have read forums like this one for a while now, and I have read some clinical studies on cd-ing. From what I've gathered, there is many opinions on what makes someone become a cd, genetics, hormone wash, pychological needs, etc. All these have proponents and opponents, and the argument rages as if there is an answer we haven't found yet. It occours to me that it is possibly like everything else in life, complex, with many answers. Could they all be right? I read about many cd's who start very young, and about others very late in life, some relate their cd-ing to an emotional experience, others have no background or idea what made them a cd. For me, I think it was psychological, I just found myself in a crossdressing situation, and it felt so wonderful, that it stuck. How about all of you? What do you suspect is the reason you are a cd? Genetic? Biological? Psychological?
I'm curious what you think, and why...
I'm curious what you think, and why...
- Lydia
- We Will Never Forget You - Rest in Peace
- Posts: 859
- Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2004 11:43 am
- Location: Sarasota, Florida
Hi Bethany,
You have posed the ultimate question. My SO (supportive) has asked me: Why? And after years of wrestling with this question, I am at a loss. I can describe my needs, my feelings, my physiolgicalfactors, but all that is description, not an explanation.
What makes it truly intricate is this spectrum of CD behavior that we find among ourselves - from just wearing panties to full time Cd and sometimes to SRS!
I think you are absolutely right in thinking this is a complex of psychological, physiological, genetic, environmental factors.
For me, at this stage of my life, I just enjoy it and no longer ask the impossible question. Take that "Mystery Magical Tour" (see any post by Virginia).
Hugs,
Lydia
You have posed the ultimate question. My SO (supportive) has asked me: Why? And after years of wrestling with this question, I am at a loss. I can describe my needs, my feelings, my physiolgicalfactors, but all that is description, not an explanation.
What makes it truly intricate is this spectrum of CD behavior that we find among ourselves - from just wearing panties to full time Cd and sometimes to SRS!
I think you are absolutely right in thinking this is a complex of psychological, physiological, genetic, environmental factors.
For me, at this stage of my life, I just enjoy it and no longer ask the impossible question. Take that "Mystery Magical Tour" (see any post by Virginia).
Hugs,
Lydia
"There comes a time ... when you must grasp the bull by the tail and face the situation."
-
- Miss Emerald Goddess
- Posts: 114
- Joined: Sun Oct 01, 2006 6:34 pm
- Location: Colorado
Don't know and have been searching long time. I'm always amazed at how similar the storys are, and how young most of us started. Makes me think something biological sets us up for it, maynot be a cause but without this whatever it is you don't become one. Sounds like an illness but being left handed isn't an illness and something sets that up also.
Back it drab today darn it; Jill
Back it drab today darn it; Jill
- Jenny
- Miss Silver Goddess
- Posts: 28
- Joined: Tue Dec 26, 2006 7:02 pm
- Location: Texas
Oh geez, you got me on this one. I do know that it's pretty deeply ingrained, since I started wanting to dress like a girl when I was barely in grade school. It also doesn't help that I can't relate to and converse with most guys, girls are just alot more fun to talk to. I think there's a good chance that at least part of it is biological. Many studies have come to the same conclusion, and that is that, since we all start out female anyway and the production of genetic material and proteins has error rates of 10^3 to 10^11, there is bound to be a mishap somewhere. Varying amounts of testosterone in the womb are also said to play a role in this.
For me, it's just a huge relief to express the person that has just been dying to get out. It relieves stress and keeps me fit, so I'm not complaining. As for how it started, I have no idea.
For me, it's just a huge relief to express the person that has just been dying to get out. It relieves stress and keeps me fit, so I'm not complaining. As for how it started, I have no idea.
Jenny
- Gaven McLaren
- Miss Golden Goddess
- Posts: 697
- Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2003 2:29 am
- Location: San Ramon, CA
- Contact:
- Kyra
- Miss Ruby Goddess
- Posts: 1161
- Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2004 11:04 pm
- Location: Fort Fun, CO
- Contact:
I dunno, but when you find out let me know!
Seriously, this is something I've struggled with since it happened. I think *they* are right, though. Through all my soul searching I've not been able to pin it down to just one thing. No childhood trauma, I don't think it's entirely genetic...although I wouldn't be surprised if one day someone discovered proof. Maybe some can say with certainty what the trigger was, but I cannot. All through adolesence and early adulthood, I tried to figure out "why" I am what I am. I never found an answer. I've learned to accept it. I consider it a "gift" of sorts. It has given me perspective that many others miss out on. The list could go on and on.
But sorry Bethany, I can't give you a "what" or a "why". Probably for the same reason I can't tell you why I like all the things I like. I just do. It's part of me.
Hugs,
Kyra
Seriously, this is something I've struggled with since it happened. I think *they* are right, though. Through all my soul searching I've not been able to pin it down to just one thing. No childhood trauma, I don't think it's entirely genetic...although I wouldn't be surprised if one day someone discovered proof. Maybe some can say with certainty what the trigger was, but I cannot. All through adolesence and early adulthood, I tried to figure out "why" I am what I am. I never found an answer. I've learned to accept it. I consider it a "gift" of sorts. It has given me perspective that many others miss out on. The list could go on and on.
But sorry Bethany, I can't give you a "what" or a "why". Probably for the same reason I can't tell you why I like all the things I like. I just do. It's part of me.
Hugs,
Kyra
For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you will long to return. - Leonardo DaVinci
- Jabbela
- Miss Emerald Goddess
- Posts: 100
- Joined: Thu Feb 03, 2005 11:08 am
- Location: Germany
- Contact:
Hi Bethany,
well - me too - I can't give you a perfect explanation. I do not think that it is genetic, otherwise CDing should be significantly more to be seen in families for example both brothers share this desire. But maybe genetic in a way, that nature is always playing around with our genes - everyone is unique.
Beside this, maybe there is also a educated part, but I do not think, that this drives me to crossdress. Anyway - for sure - there is some psychological cause, as it is an "internal" drive.
Looking at myself, I think there always has been a strong female "part" in my personality. I am sure not one personality is 100% male or female. I guess in my case it is more or less 50-50. I remember that I tried my mothers skirts when I was young and I felt fine. Now that I do not suppress my drive to crossdress for a few years, I feel much better. For me it is a relief, that my female part also can express herself by clothing and (hopefully) behaviour. I am still a male and I do not think that this will ever change, but I simply do not suppress my female part anymore and this gives me a lot of opportunities to feel better. My personality is partly male, partly female and I feel free to change my appearance with crossdressing.
Well, I do not ask for the cause - I simply feel comfortable, and, as I am more in the closet, I do not have to answer this question that often.
well - me too - I can't give you a perfect explanation. I do not think that it is genetic, otherwise CDing should be significantly more to be seen in families for example both brothers share this desire. But maybe genetic in a way, that nature is always playing around with our genes - everyone is unique.
Beside this, maybe there is also a educated part, but I do not think, that this drives me to crossdress. Anyway - for sure - there is some psychological cause, as it is an "internal" drive.
Looking at myself, I think there always has been a strong female "part" in my personality. I am sure not one personality is 100% male or female. I guess in my case it is more or less 50-50. I remember that I tried my mothers skirts when I was young and I felt fine. Now that I do not suppress my drive to crossdress for a few years, I feel much better. For me it is a relief, that my female part also can express herself by clothing and (hopefully) behaviour. I am still a male and I do not think that this will ever change, but I simply do not suppress my female part anymore and this gives me a lot of opportunities to feel better. My personality is partly male, partly female and I feel free to change my appearance with crossdressing.
Well, I do not ask for the cause - I simply feel comfortable, and, as I am more in the closet, I do not have to answer this question that often.
- Absaroka
- Miss Diamond Goddess
- Posts: 3344
- Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2005 8:30 am
Just for myself I suspect it is mostly learned behavior, or psychological. It was something that accidently happened as a child and I liked it so I kept doing it. The secrecy gave it great power and so it stayed. Had it not been forbidden I might well have gotten tired of it a long time ago. And even if I hadn't, if it had not been forbidden I would not feel the need to have an internet forum with another name to discuss it.
I like mens flannel shirts. I wear them all the time, even when I CD. Why? I like their connotations and comfort. But I don't feel the need to discuss them on line a whole lot. Because there was never anything unusual about liking them.
Absaroka
I like mens flannel shirts. I wear them all the time, even when I CD. Why? I like their connotations and comfort. But I don't feel the need to discuss them on line a whole lot. Because there was never anything unusual about liking them.
Absaroka
everything under the sun is in tune
but the sun is eclipsed by the moon
but the sun is eclipsed by the moon
- Sally
- We Will Never Forget You - Rest in Peace
- Posts: 630
- Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2004 1:33 am
- Location: N.S.W. Australia
What is the underlying reason for you.
I’ve seen enough documented evidence from studies carried out over the years by medical scientists to strongly suggest that with the majority of us it’s something which is part of our very being and make-up, and which is put into the blueprint in our brain whilst we’re still in the womb.
As far back as I can remember in my life into early childhood I preferred all things girly, and this is corroborated by my older sisters, so it wasn’t something which I learnt or copied, it was naturally there in me as a living breathing locked in part of me, and I’d venture to suggest that nobody has ever fought it any stronger than I did in the first half of my life and all to no avail. It was always just like a hunger, it needed to be fed and then everything was alright, it’s identical to denying one’s self food, you can’t go on long without satisfying that hunger or else it begins to effect everything about you and turns you into some emotional ‘steam boiler’, well that’s how it effected me until I took steps to alleviate the ever present problems.
I’m also a firm believer that on a scale of one to whatever, we’re all at different spots in the spectrum. If you draw a straight line of any length and at one end write 100% male and at the other end write 100% female, there will be an indeterminate number of spaces in between which will be varying percentages of male and female, right down from ‘full blown’ TS like myself, to the very occasional or curious crossdresser, and this all comes about to my way of thinking by what happens ( due to many aspects and events which have been documented previously many times)while we’re being ‘constructed’in our mothers’ womb.
I believe if we learn to accept that this is how it is and can never be changed, then we begin to leave that stressful part out of our lives. As long as we do no emotional or physical harm to anybody and get on with living the best life we possibly can we serve our purpose. It has to be remembered that it’s just not us, indeed everyone harbors something within or about themselves which they may see as some sort of stigma or concern, we may not know it, they may hide it just as expertly as we may, but they’re just as concerned about their own selves and how they’d be viewed if it came out, as we are, it’s all a part of life and being. If the perfect person has been made then I haven’t met them yet, but then that all depends on what we see as perfection. I think I’m ok. LOL …..I hope you feel the same way about yourself, because the way it is, is the way it is. Go with the flow, it's easier and better for the soul, because if you try to swim upsteam for too long then you run the risk of drowning, so to speak.
Kind Regards,
Sally.
As far back as I can remember in my life into early childhood I preferred all things girly, and this is corroborated by my older sisters, so it wasn’t something which I learnt or copied, it was naturally there in me as a living breathing locked in part of me, and I’d venture to suggest that nobody has ever fought it any stronger than I did in the first half of my life and all to no avail. It was always just like a hunger, it needed to be fed and then everything was alright, it’s identical to denying one’s self food, you can’t go on long without satisfying that hunger or else it begins to effect everything about you and turns you into some emotional ‘steam boiler’, well that’s how it effected me until I took steps to alleviate the ever present problems.
I’m also a firm believer that on a scale of one to whatever, we’re all at different spots in the spectrum. If you draw a straight line of any length and at one end write 100% male and at the other end write 100% female, there will be an indeterminate number of spaces in between which will be varying percentages of male and female, right down from ‘full blown’ TS like myself, to the very occasional or curious crossdresser, and this all comes about to my way of thinking by what happens ( due to many aspects and events which have been documented previously many times)while we’re being ‘constructed’in our mothers’ womb.
I believe if we learn to accept that this is how it is and can never be changed, then we begin to leave that stressful part out of our lives. As long as we do no emotional or physical harm to anybody and get on with living the best life we possibly can we serve our purpose. It has to be remembered that it’s just not us, indeed everyone harbors something within or about themselves which they may see as some sort of stigma or concern, we may not know it, they may hide it just as expertly as we may, but they’re just as concerned about their own selves and how they’d be viewed if it came out, as we are, it’s all a part of life and being. If the perfect person has been made then I haven’t met them yet, but then that all depends on what we see as perfection. I think I’m ok. LOL …..I hope you feel the same way about yourself, because the way it is, is the way it is. Go with the flow, it's easier and better for the soul, because if you try to swim upsteam for too long then you run the risk of drowning, so to speak.
Kind Regards,
Sally.
Watch nature, because it’s our greatest teacher, it moves and flows and moves on again. We can never be free until we disengage, so allow life to flow as you find it. The way it is, is the way it is.
-
- Miss Emerald Goddess
- Posts: 220
- Joined: Sat Dec 03, 2005 8:13 am
- Location: Silver Spring, Maryland
Why Do I/We CD?
Hello all: Why do I/we do it??
There are probably as many answers to that question as there are CD's.
I can say that for me, the first "trigger" was at day camp, when I was 7-8 years old. The children put on a play and one of the little boys was dressed as a little girl. I was fascinated by that and never forgot it. Also-- some of you older folks out there might remember DC comic book stories where Jimmy Olsen dressed as a girl. There was also the classic "CLAIRE KENT, ALIAS SUPER SISTER" where Superboy is transformed by an alien's ray into "SUPERSISTER." I never forgot that either.
(aside-- has anyone else noticed the huge cross-over between the TG community in general and the science fiction/fantasy/comix community? )
During my teen years I donned a few of my sisters skirts and dresses-- was caught once or twice by my mother.
My CD "career" began on Halloween 1996 when I dressed as a cheerleader.
It expanded a few years later after my first support group meeting and first visit to a "transgender" convention.
Now I have plenty of outfits and dress anywhere from a few times a week to once a month-- depends on the weather, time, and other activities.
I've wondered if the CD trait is genetic-- the jury hasn't returned a definitive verdict on that one.
I also wonder if CD'ing in some cases is a compensation for not dealing well with the whole relationship/dating thing. The cross-dresser gets to have a femine experience without all the burdens and traumas of a "relationship."
In my case, I had a father with a strong temper-- was an attraction to "femme" things a reaction to that?
Right now CD'ing is a release and even a creative outlet. I even use it as a vehicle to express political beliefs-- I dress as a cheerleader and go to protests and other appropriate activities that way. (Anyone out there want to join "CHEERLEADERS FOR PEACE?" )
Want to see more thoughts, ideas, etc. etc. from others on this topic.
Peace-- Kendra Lynn.
There are probably as many answers to that question as there are CD's.
I can say that for me, the first "trigger" was at day camp, when I was 7-8 years old. The children put on a play and one of the little boys was dressed as a little girl. I was fascinated by that and never forgot it. Also-- some of you older folks out there might remember DC comic book stories where Jimmy Olsen dressed as a girl. There was also the classic "CLAIRE KENT, ALIAS SUPER SISTER" where Superboy is transformed by an alien's ray into "SUPERSISTER." I never forgot that either.
(aside-- has anyone else noticed the huge cross-over between the TG community in general and the science fiction/fantasy/comix community? )
During my teen years I donned a few of my sisters skirts and dresses-- was caught once or twice by my mother.
My CD "career" began on Halloween 1996 when I dressed as a cheerleader.
It expanded a few years later after my first support group meeting and first visit to a "transgender" convention.
Now I have plenty of outfits and dress anywhere from a few times a week to once a month-- depends on the weather, time, and other activities.
I've wondered if the CD trait is genetic-- the jury hasn't returned a definitive verdict on that one.
I also wonder if CD'ing in some cases is a compensation for not dealing well with the whole relationship/dating thing. The cross-dresser gets to have a femine experience without all the burdens and traumas of a "relationship."
In my case, I had a father with a strong temper-- was an attraction to "femme" things a reaction to that?
Right now CD'ing is a release and even a creative outlet. I even use it as a vehicle to express political beliefs-- I dress as a cheerleader and go to protests and other appropriate activities that way. (Anyone out there want to join "CHEERLEADERS FOR PEACE?" )
Want to see more thoughts, ideas, etc. etc. from others on this topic.
Peace-- Kendra Lynn.
- Jacky
- Miss Crystal Goddess
- Posts: 16
- Joined: Sun Dec 31, 2006 9:14 am
- Location: Germany
I think maybe hormones play a big role.I for instance started growing breasts when I entered puberty.My mon took me to the doctor and he said that this happens sometimes.I wonder if it happens to men that do not engage in crossdressing in their later lifes.Another thing I saw on television was that if a man has his ring finger the same size or shorter that the pointing finger it mindicates that he is more female inclined.With women it was the opposite,if their ring finger was longer it indicated that shes got more testerostone etc.I checked my fingers and they are the same size,indiating more female hormones.
They took a group of men and women and let them do things like placing them in a room with acrying baby to see who would do what .Even how you take off a sweater can tell you how you tick.Theres even simple things like looking at your hand and fingernails ,the female type will look at their hand from above spreadind the fingers and the male type would look by curling them up and looking at them from the inside of the hand.I dont know how accurate these observation were but it made me think.
Love Jacky
They took a group of men and women and let them do things like placing them in a room with acrying baby to see who would do what .Even how you take off a sweater can tell you how you tick.Theres even simple things like looking at your hand and fingernails ,the female type will look at their hand from above spreadind the fingers and the male type would look by curling them up and looking at them from the inside of the hand.I dont know how accurate these observation were but it made me think.
Love Jacky
- Pauline
- Miss Emerald Goddess
- Posts: 100
- Joined: Wed Apr 07, 2004 10:40 pm
- Location: West Midlands, Birmingham UK
Hi ladies ..
Genetic? Biological? Psychological? hmmm
Genetic... it's always been with me even without my ability to recognise it but always known there was something different.
Biological... that's Genetics isn’t it?? Biologically speaking. My emotions have always been close to the surface, preferring the company of gg's and without the Genetic structure I would never have been.
Psychological... understanding, reasoning, sense of humour, logical, inquisitiveness... just some of what makes up my psyche...
I believe you can’t have one without the others... so to answer, its’ all three. I praise it... without the above I would not be me. What triggered it was something that happend when i was 5 or 6 years old which initiated all the above into conjunction.
Pauline
Genetic? Biological? Psychological? hmmm
Genetic... it's always been with me even without my ability to recognise it but always known there was something different.
Biological... that's Genetics isn’t it?? Biologically speaking. My emotions have always been close to the surface, preferring the company of gg's and without the Genetic structure I would never have been.
Psychological... understanding, reasoning, sense of humour, logical, inquisitiveness... just some of what makes up my psyche...
I believe you can’t have one without the others... so to answer, its’ all three. I praise it... without the above I would not be me. What triggered it was something that happend when i was 5 or 6 years old which initiated all the above into conjunction.
Pauline
crossdressing isnt a hobby, its the way of expressing your inner woman.
- Chrissie
- Miss Sapphire Goddess
- Posts: 63
- Joined: Tue Nov 09, 2004 11:53 am
- Location: California
- Contact:
Jenny comes close to summing it up for me. It was an early desire for me, I know, because at 10 I asked my mom if I could be a girl for Halloween. It just felt good/right. Later, especially after puberty, I came to "understand" that other people thought this was somehow not ok, and so I would slip on things in secret. That was quite a thrill, but it wasn't the thrill that propelled me to do it.Jenny wrote:Oh geez, you got me on this one. I do know that it's pretty deeply ingrained, since I started wanting to dress like a girl when I was barely in grade school. It also doesn't help that I can't relate to and converse with most guys, girls are just alot more fun to talk to. I think there's a good chance that at least part of it is biological. ....
For me, it's just a huge relief to express the person that has just been dying to get out. It relieves stress and keeps me fit, so I'm not complaining. As for how it started, I have no idea.
Gradually, I came to really understand how broadly I identify with women, and that I felt better, more calm and right, in that image. So the thrill and adrenaline and secrecy lost their appeal, and the shear beauty and wonderfulness of feminity took over...
I'm grateful to my mother, who on that halloween went down to the thrift shop and put together a wonderful girl's costume for me. She didn't make a big deal, one way or the other (though I'm sure she enjoyed it), she put the same care into my cowboy outfits. She let me be me, the greatest gift....
But why? Why anything? Life is a beautiful and complex web.
Chrissie