Would you rather be a woman?

[CherryLynn]

To be honest there are advantages to being a male- things have gotten better for women but its still a man's world. I am happy enough about being a guy but I do love women's clothing and makeup. I have women tell me "at least you guys don't worry at having periods or being raped."etc.

I have wondered what it would be like to a real woman- I really hope there's such a thing thing as reincarnation - so i can find out.
Hugs
Cherry

[Elizabeth]

Hey girls,

I hated every minute of my life as a man. Using "male privilege" to make more money or some other advantage always gave me a knot in the pit of my stomach. I did it because I felt I had to, but in the end, it only made me hate myself.

Do I wish I were born a woman? I was born a woman. Do I wish I was born as a natal female? I'm not so sure. I used to think I was sure, but now as I contemplate a way to raise the money to have SRS, I begin to feel I have been so enriched by this whole experience that had I been born a natal female, I would not be at the place I find myself today.

Sure, I fantasize all the time about how great it would have been to be a natal female and experience giving life to another human being. Or to wear the clothing that allowed me to express how I was feeling. For to be ok to be afraid. Sure I could have avoided a lot of really bad times. But in a way what really defines us is how we recover from the blows that life deals all of us. Meeting our own expectations is the most rewarding of all.

Believing in ourselves because of our intimate knowledge of our abilities. Your highest moment can only be contrasted against your lowest moment. So in a way, if one never has any low moments, nor can they know what their highest moment is. If I were an ordinary female I would not have had the extraordinary life experience I have had. I would never have known what it was like to try to live the life of a male. Despite the hardship of that, it allowed me to see the world in a way that I never could have, had I been born a natal female.

So I guess I don't really know anymore. Yes I would like to have a real female body, instead of one made to look like a real female body. But I can settle for appearing to be female. Just living my life in a female role, has improved my life immeasurably. My choice is to be happy with what I can have or to be unhappy.

Love always,
Elizabeth

[EmilyN]

the question is made more difficult by the fact that i know for certain what it is to be a male. i know first hand the benefits and the liabilities whereas my experience as a woman is limited and some might say contrived.

that being said, yes i think i would. mind you i don't spend a lot of time on "would have or should have" but i know that i would have been a hell of a fine broad! lol

seriously, i love the woman inside of me, she is enchanting, funny, glib, wise, sensitive, warm, and sexy. though i suspect that given enough opportunity she could be a real bitch as well! LOL

goodness, i'm having too much fun with this aren't i? i do sometime wonder if the ideal would be the red pill/blue pill concept....who do i want to be this month....hmmmmm.

science fiction captures the idea of mind/consciousness transfer and nano-technology to do the trick, maybe what i really wish is to be alive 10,000 years hence and enjoying the fruits of that technology. makes it easier to contemplate and doesn't require any action on my part today.....an idea delayed i suppose is better than frustration in the here and now.

[Johanna]

As many of you have stated, I would love the feeling of having real breasts, curves, internal organs and no hair. I often fantasize about being morphed into a woman, although I would never have the guts to undergo the difficult transition into transgender.

The ultimate fantasy, of course, is to experience love making as a woman. Every man has wondered what that experience would be like. I am not gay and do not get turned on by male bodies, but still have the fantasy.

For now, I would like to take the next step of appearing in public, but cannot even manage that courage. That is why I need your support, along with some good makeup tips

[Anne-Marie]

If rebirth is possible I would like to try being a woman for the sheer beauty and sensuousness of skirts, dresses, blouses, jewelry, lingerie, high heels and so on.

[Juanita]

If I would have had the choice to born a female i think I would be a women.

[Virginia]

Don't know how I missed this thread, but, well its a blond thing I guess!

Three of my sisters spoke for me. First, Donna, Yeah, knowing what "we" know, putting up with men would be a true challenge.

Our resident Oak Tree - Elizabeth, yes I was born to be who I am and Virginia has always been there, I just did not realize it or when she wanted to make a "statement" I was able to supress her up until my male person could not handle what was going on in my life and needed someone much stronger than he and there was Virginia and saved my backside.
She ain't going nowhere now she is out and proud and she is me and I am her and we are loving our "Magical Mystery Tour."

and Emily, yes complexity is my name and I love the adventures she can take me on!!!! ain't it great!

Go Forth Woman ----- and BE!!!

Virginia

[CherryLynn]

I much rather be a female. I think about being a full time woman all the time and i think my personality is more suited to being feminine.. Being a man hasn't worked out so well.I realize the that women have a number of issues- having to deal men, etc. I'm hoping in my next life to be a girl.
hugs

[Erin L]

Although there have been various times in my life when I intensely wish I had been born female, in my heart of hearts I am glad I was not. My wife and I have been married for 32 years, and I wouldn't trade that for anything.

However, if there is such a thing as reincarnation (although I don't believe there is), then, yes, I would want to come back next time as a girl - preferably one who does not gain weight easily. And, in fact, if there IS such a thing as reincarnation, then I strongly suspect I have bounced back and forth across gender lines with each successive life.

[Azurielle]

I i could have chosen, I'd definitely have decided to be born female.

However, I still do enjoy the wondrous advantages the male body happens to grant me (especially peeing while standing up in public washrooms).

[Amy Santos]

I'm not quite sure, but I have a feeling that if I was born a girl, I'd probably end up crossdressing as a boy. To me crossdressing isn't a suppression of my masculine side, it's an expression of my feminine side. So in theory if I was born a girl, I'd end up crossdressing as a boy to express my masculine side, or something like that. So yeah, sometimes a part of me does wish I was born a girl. But if I was born a girl, that same part of me would wish I was born a boy. Oww. My brain hurts.

[Stephanie Stephens]

I would love to have a woman's body but I would not want to have a woman's mind. I am not saying that I don't have a woman's mind I just want to have that beautiful feminine body.

[Jennifer]

I often wonder how my life would have turned out had I been born female. What would I have done for a living or would I own my own home are just a few of the questions that have always been at the top of my thoughts when I think it would be nice to be a woman. But I also know that women have had to fight for equal rights and are often thought of as sex objects by a male dominated society. It really bothers me when I hear crude sexist jokes around the work place, especially by married men.

I like that I have one foot over the fence, I can safely explore my feminine side without having to pay my dues. My wife says it's not fair that I only get the fun part but we both agree that this side of me has made for a close and honest relationship. I have reached a comfort level I am happy with and I'm not willing to give up what I have to transition or even live 24/7 as a woman.

[Robyn Katie]

I’ve struggled with this question for days now. Here’s what I’ve come up with. I know it’s different from how many of you feel—one of the revelations here has been how diverse we all are in what we feel and want. But this is as near the truth as I can get. I hope it’s of help. (Apologies in advance; it’s long.)

***

Do I want to be a girl? Words can’t express it. Right now this minute I want to be a girl so MUCH …
And over the course of my life I’ve repeatedly, urgently, sensually wanted to be a girl so MUCH …

Yes, yes! I want to feel what I am like in my Real Mind—my girl mind that almost shows through, yet is obscured by this male overlay … I want to think as a girl, feel as a girl, I stretch and reach and try to know what that is like, but the “her” trips over the “him” and falls on her face … For a moment I almost know, almost feel it … yes, there for a moment I felt it distinctly! It was real! But it so quickly slips away again …

I want to feel what I am like in my Real Body—my girl body, the body I knew even as a very young child must be mine, had been meant to be mine, was mine … but somehow got lost, and now I’m living this insane dream of being a boy, a man, years and decades, a whole life long …

I knew this the first time I read The Land of Oz at the age of 8 or 9. I suffered through Tip’s life with Mombi the witch and all “his” many adventures and then, as emerges only at the end of the story, I ecstatically transformed with him into the sweet little girl ruler, Ozma. Tip had always been Ozma, but by a cruel trick, an enchantment was hidden, buried, suffocated within the form of a boy. I felt that was my personal story.

My dearest wish is to be a girl—has always been … nearly always … not quite always (there’s the rub). I’m by no means a candidate for sex reassignment surgery. I feel female in every fiber of me, but whether I like it or not, my present gender is the substance of my life and the source of many blessings.

For life has showered me with love from wonderful girls who, if I were one of them, almost certainly would not have given themselves to me and taught me to give myself to them. The love of my life foremost among them: Alee, the best thing by far that ever happened to me. Life with her is bliss, is everything.

Many other blessings have come to me because I was male. How many of them would I have found if I were female? Maybe a lot of them: music, books, love of nature, fascination with human culture, vast curiosity about the world and life. But not all? It’s impossible to know how many joys and satisfactions would not have come to me—maybe because without my male psychology I could not have experienced them in the same way, or maybe because certain people would not have been friends and companions if I’d not been male.

(On the other hand what joys and satisfactions would my female psychology and experience have brought me? And who might have been my friends and companions if I were female?)

Sex … how would that have been different? I wouldn’t trade my wild passions, certainly, nor my lifelong vocation for sex and all things sexual. Are those rooted in my male overlay? As a girl, as a woman, would I have found such profound sexual and romantic depths in myself and others? Or would I have been too busy fleeing from invasion and possession by men?

Men. That part of being a woman I could not possibly have managed. I couldn’t have stomached a relationship with a man. From my earliest imaginings the only possible sexual partners for me have been female.

But as a young girl entering dating age in the 1950s, what would I have been faced with? All I’d want would be girlfriends, girl lovers, eventually a future wife (in fact if not in name). But in those days where I grew up, the mere idea of girl-girl relationships was scarcely thinkable. Girls dated boys, that was it.

So as a girl, I’d probably never have dreamed I could actually have a relationship with another girl. Oblivious to that, I’d have the choice of being alone, or doing what every girl did: letting a boy ask me out. Would I have been smart enough, independent enough, to say no? I doubt it. As angry and hideous and impossible as it seems to me, I’d very likely, out of social expectation and my own mistakes, have been led into letting myself go out with boys.

I imagine this as a sort of nightmare. What if out of misguided naivety I’d dated, even married, a man? Nothing could be more alien to every cell in my body, but I know from experience how social expectation can funnel people into the wrongest possible experience for them.

What if I’d let a boy go too far on a date, and gotten pregnant? In those days that nearly always meant marriage. If I hadn’t had the strength or sense to resist, I’d have entered into a whole life founded on hatred and disgust. —Not unlike what many women go through, finding themselves with a child and a man who’s abhorrent to them, needing only to get away from him as fast and far as possible!

So if I was in my right mind, and made the right choices for myself, I could only have been a lesbian.
Might this have brought me more sorrow than joy? It would have lost me most, probably all of the girls I’ve loved in my life, who most likely would have been too fearful, too disgusted, too hostile, to get involved with female me, or proved fickle because of their own ambivalence.

If I as a girl had chosen the underground route, gone into lesbian society and relationships, what could I have expected? Not many girls willing to take the plunge in those days! (How different now.) During most of my life lesbianism’s been shunned, detested by society, driven into a hole, warping personalities, creating pain. Might I have floundered with a succession of more or less sad or angry girlfriends but never have found Ms. Right? Or could I have gotten lucky, found a true love, been happy? All these what-ifs ....

I do know I would have sacrificed a good deal to live the experience of being female. Granted all that’s been said about girls’/womens’ comparative disadvantages: subordinate role, disrespect, target of criminal lusts, economic disadvantage, menstruation, etc. Despite all the potential bleakness, fear and resentment, I think I would have accepted this as part of the package, but of course I can’t know for sure.

Regardless: since I was a little kid I’ve longed with all my heart (thousands of times) to be female, a girl, a woman—to complete myself, because under it all, a girl is who I am. I’ve managed to live fairly successfully as a male, impersonating a he, a him so well I’ve sometimes believed it myself. But it has generally been like an actor playing a part. Beneath it all I’ve always been a she, a her.

So I’m hopelessly on the fence.

But oh! I keep wanting to be a girl so bad!

Love, Robyn Katie

[DonnaT]

Are you sure, Robyn?