Tonight after unpacking from our sojourn to the "Queen City" = Charlotte, NC and pushing my male alter-ego into the closet for three days, we decided to go out to a local pizza buffet and then see if my friend had returned from Florida with her new Corvette and we would ride my bike (Honda VTX 1800).
Well, I looked at myself in the mirror and remember -- "Virginia's Challenge?" Look at the woman in the mirror, look into her eyes, not at what she is wearing, but who she is. Well I did, rather unintentionally, and I saw a somewhat sad, well, a sad girl looking back at me - it was like she was saying, .......... "but I don't want to take off my make-up, my skirt, my pretty blouse, by hose, shoes, just so you can go ride that stupid bike and feel "safe" in that pizza joint!"
I have never felt that before, oh I have come back from trips and made the change with hardly a second thought, but for some reason, tonight was different - it really hurt!!! I know I have always said, I am Virginia and Virginia is me and that is true, but there was something to removing the physical vestments of her tonight. Maybe, just maybe, she is taking one more big step into my being?
It's getting late and I am tired.
Love you all!!!
Virginia
PS: Be kind to yourselves and to others!
Another epiphany?
Moderators: KimberlyS, Eileen (SO)
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Virginia
- Goddess of the Universe
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Another epiphany?
First star to the right, then straight on 'till mornin!
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Absaroka
- Miss Diamond Goddess
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DonnaT
- Miss Great Goddess
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DeeDee
- Miss Golden Goddess
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Virginia
I've looked in that mirror a lot lately...and I see DeeDee. I also hate for it to end, but darn if I'll mess up a nice skirt while painting. I rencently told an old friend about myself..and showed him my pics..no ulterior motive...just coming to grips with myself...the girl in the mirror.
DeeDee
I've looked in that mirror a lot lately...and I see DeeDee. I also hate for it to end, but darn if I'll mess up a nice skirt while painting. I rencently told an old friend about myself..and showed him my pics..no ulterior motive...just coming to grips with myself...the girl in the mirror.
DeeDee
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KathyB
- Miss Platinum Goddess
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Virginia, if it's anything like when I've worn my breast forms and bra from Friday after work through Monday morning, I know it's an incredibly emotional feeling. Maybe Virginia's reality is beginning to merge more into your life, and hopefully you're alright with that. I wouldn't worry over it too much, because worrying needlessly would only make it worse. Rather, view it as a new portion of our gift that you have been blessed to receive.
Long-distance hugs to you and SilverLady!
Long-distance hugs to you and SilverLady! Formerly called Zippy
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Sylvia H
- Miss Emerald Goddess
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Virginia,
When you refer to the girl looking back at you in the mirror, I was thinking about asking you if she ever looked different. After spending 3 days out last week, the girl looking back at me had the oddest expression when it was time to go to work th following Monday. Not sad, just more sober for lack of a better word.
xoxo
Sylvia
When you refer to the girl looking back at you in the mirror, I was thinking about asking you if she ever looked different. After spending 3 days out last week, the girl looking back at me had the oddest expression when it was time to go to work th following Monday. Not sad, just more sober for lack of a better word.
xoxo
Sylvia
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Virginia
- Goddess of the Universe
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- Location: Strange Magic Hill
Thanks ladies for your replies and to you Absaroka, remember me honey!?, I knew you when --------- I use to love to watch you go "troll hunting!" and you were the very best!!!!! a true hunter/killer, my idol! Now just don't twist that knife and I think I can survive!
This is my MY MAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR and it is MAGICAL, AND DAMN --- IT IS A MYSTERY yet!!! You reach certain plateaus in your "tour" and think you have a pretty good handle on "things" then something like this recent epiphany just comes out of nowhere and "whack!" a 2x4 right between the eyes. We sit there stunned then wondering, why? what did I do? did I deserve that? what am I going to do about it?
This is going to take a bit of time! What will I do, what can I do? All I can say is it is a day later and the experience is not going away!!!!!
I love you all for being there for me!
Virginia
This is my MY MAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR and it is MAGICAL, AND DAMN --- IT IS A MYSTERY yet!!! You reach certain plateaus in your "tour" and think you have a pretty good handle on "things" then something like this recent epiphany just comes out of nowhere and "whack!" a 2x4 right between the eyes. We sit there stunned then wondering, why? what did I do? did I deserve that? what am I going to do about it?
This is going to take a bit of time! What will I do, what can I do? All I can say is it is a day later and the experience is not going away!!!!!
I love you all for being there for me!
Virginia
First star to the right, then straight on 'till mornin!
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Kendra Lynn
- Miss Emerald Goddess
- Posts: 220
- Joined: Sat Dec 03, 2005 8:13 am
- Location: Silver Spring, Maryland
A cross dressing high
Hello all: Some times, after a particularly exciting and/or enjoyable cross dressing experience (and I was told or thought I looked really good), I come home and keep the "drag" on a little bit longer.
The experience was a real natural "high" (no drugs) involved and I just want it to last a little longer.
But then the time comes to take the "drag" off and I do.
I don't make a conscious effort to change my personality when "dressed," but do try to cut back on the four letter words.
Several weeks ago I attended an event where costumes were encouraged and so I went as the "cheerleader" (of course). Someone who knew me, but had never seen me "dressed" before said that I seemed "happier." Hm... well cheerleaders are supposed to be "up" and "perky" but I wonder if I also seem happier when just wearing non cheerleader femme outfits.
Interesting question.
Peace-- Kendra Lynn.
The experience was a real natural "high" (no drugs) involved and I just want it to last a little longer.
But then the time comes to take the "drag" off and I do.
I don't make a conscious effort to change my personality when "dressed," but do try to cut back on the four letter words.
Several weeks ago I attended an event where costumes were encouraged and so I went as the "cheerleader" (of course). Someone who knew me, but had never seen me "dressed" before said that I seemed "happier." Hm... well cheerleaders are supposed to be "up" and "perky" but I wonder if I also seem happier when just wearing non cheerleader femme outfits.
Interesting question.
Peace-- Kendra Lynn.
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Absaroka
- Miss Diamond Goddess
- Posts: 3344
- Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2005 8:30 am
Virginia I'm not quite sure what you mean... How could I forget you?
I assume you mean you remember Andrea, but I never thought of myself as a troll hunter. I just had a lot of very curious questions. Still do......and I only stick the knife into food.
As for how long Virginia wants to stick around, who knows? The question gets to the heart of a lot of things, however I'm sure you will come through this in the manner that will make both Virginia and your male side happy since you two seem to be pretty good friends .
I'll go back under my bridge now.
Absaroka
I assume you mean you remember Andrea, but I never thought of myself as a troll hunter. I just had a lot of very curious questions. Still do......and I only stick the knife into food.
As for how long Virginia wants to stick around, who knows? The question gets to the heart of a lot of things, however I'm sure you will come through this in the manner that will make both Virginia and your male side happy since you two seem to be pretty good friends .
I'll go back under my bridge now.
Absaroka
Last edited by Absaroka on Wed Jun 13, 2007 7:12 am, edited 1 time in total.
everything under the sun is in tune
but the sun is eclipsed by the moon
but the sun is eclipsed by the moon
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Elizabeth
- Miss Ruby Goddess
- Posts: 1878
- Joined: Mon May 03, 2004 3:02 am
Virgina,
I know just what you mean. There are so many times I look back and can't believe what I used to feel and think and wonder how I could feel so differently now.
It's strange how each step takes us to the next and there is no way to get there other than to take each step and see what happens. I clearly remember having all the things happen to me that you describe. I remember when I truly "got it" that I was Elizabeth and not Rudy.
Even though I always knew it inside, it's different when you look in to the mirror and no longer see a man staring back at you. For me it no longer matters if I am dressed or not dressed, have makeup or don't have makeup, have breastforms on or don't have breastforms on, I only see Elizabeth now.
It is no longer relevant what the cost might be, I could never go back to pretending to be him. That defense mechanism is broken now. I lack the strength or energy or will to put up that kind of front again. I believe it almost destroyed me.
I have never known the contentment I feel now. A real sense of who I am. It's funny because I remember so clearly believing this life would never happen for me, because it was impossible. Now I can imagine nothing else.
Virginia, You go girl, the tour has only begun.
Love always,
Elizabeth
I know just what you mean. There are so many times I look back and can't believe what I used to feel and think and wonder how I could feel so differently now.
It's strange how each step takes us to the next and there is no way to get there other than to take each step and see what happens. I clearly remember having all the things happen to me that you describe. I remember when I truly "got it" that I was Elizabeth and not Rudy.
Even though I always knew it inside, it's different when you look in to the mirror and no longer see a man staring back at you. For me it no longer matters if I am dressed or not dressed, have makeup or don't have makeup, have breastforms on or don't have breastforms on, I only see Elizabeth now.
It is no longer relevant what the cost might be, I could never go back to pretending to be him. That defense mechanism is broken now. I lack the strength or energy or will to put up that kind of front again. I believe it almost destroyed me.
I have never known the contentment I feel now. A real sense of who I am. It's funny because I remember so clearly believing this life would never happen for me, because it was impossible. Now I can imagine nothing else.
Virginia, You go girl, the tour has only begun.
Love always,
Elizabeth
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CherryLynn
- Miss Emerald Goddess
- Posts: 207
- Joined: Sun Jul 20, 2008 2:20 am
- Location: New Jersey
I'm not ready to go enfemme yet, want do that this year, but I love looking at my reFlection after putting on my makeup-having red painted lips its such a turn on for this girl. I often wonder why I ended up with such girly feelings. Come from a typical Irish Catholic working class family- father a cop- Mom a housewife. As a little boy I loved to watch Mom putting on her makeup and played with my sister's Barbie dolls .
hugs
Cherrylynn
hugs
Cherrylynn
Just starting to explore my feminine nature- am very shy meek and demure. Addicted to looking and acting ladylike. Still have so many questions about exactly who I am- have so many mixed emotions about my gender issues.