Believe it or not, we almost never argue or raise our voices But I guess we needed to last night. We went on for about an hour, discussing all of the issues that we've been dealing with lately and it was actually good. The outcome was anyway. Interesting timing after I was just posting here. I guess we'll problem solve and figure out how to return to the level of connectiveness and intimacy (all kinds) that we used to be at. He keeps wanting things to be the way they were when we first got together. I've told him rather than attempting to achieve that why not try for something new but equally as satisfying and good. Anyway, thanks again. I love reading all that you gals have to say, including about your intellectual filter! Hugs,
Kay(SO)
Obsessing
Moderators: KimberlyS, Eileen (SO)
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Kyra
- Miss Ruby Goddess
- Posts: 1161
- Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2004 11:04 pm
- Location: Fort Fun, CO
- Contact:
Hi all,
From what I read it seems that many of us have Obsessive/ Compulsive traits. I've not read much on the disorder, but maybe it bares research. (For me, at least)
Amber and I were discussing my obsessive habits just recently. I tend to obsess on things in phases. Focusing all my attention on one thing.
i.e. - For several months I couldn't do anything but work on my truck. Researching parts and tinkering with it. Reading magazines, etc.
Then all of a sudden, I switched to something else. For a time it was nothing but computer games. Or video games. Or whatever. My point is that over time each "phase" would tend to wear itself out. This was untrue with Kyra. CDing became the forefront of my life a little over a year ago. It is more a part of my nature than a simple hobby. My purge in May confirmed that.
I'm not sure where I'm going with all this. Maybe suffice to say although Cding may seem obsessive, I feel a deeper connection than that.
CJ wrote:
So that's my thoughts.
Hugs to everyone,
Kyra
From what I read it seems that many of us have Obsessive/ Compulsive traits. I've not read much on the disorder, but maybe it bares research. (For me, at least)
Amber and I were discussing my obsessive habits just recently. I tend to obsess on things in phases. Focusing all my attention on one thing.
i.e. - For several months I couldn't do anything but work on my truck. Researching parts and tinkering with it. Reading magazines, etc.
Then all of a sudden, I switched to something else. For a time it was nothing but computer games. Or video games. Or whatever. My point is that over time each "phase" would tend to wear itself out. This was untrue with Kyra. CDing became the forefront of my life a little over a year ago. It is more a part of my nature than a simple hobby. My purge in May confirmed that.
I'm not sure where I'm going with all this. Maybe suffice to say although Cding may seem obsessive, I feel a deeper connection than that.
CJ wrote:
Oddly enough, I too find that the forum helps me to lessen my desire to dress. Last friday I really wanted to go out. Overwhelmingly so. But because of other duties I was not able to. It was comforting to get online and come here Saturday morning, reading and posting, and that ache in my heart has diminished somewhat. (This confirms my belief that this forum is therapeutic!)As to the "obssession" of dressing, I noticed (and have mentioned elsewhere on this forum) that, since having found this particular outlet (the forum, I mean), my need to dress up has considerably diminished.
So that's my thoughts.
Hugs to everyone,
Kyra
For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you will long to return. - Leonardo DaVinci
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Elizabeth
- Miss Ruby Goddess
- Posts: 1878
- Joined: Mon May 03, 2004 3:02 am
Hi Kay,
We have discussed this issue of obsessive thoughts before. And generally speaking it's hard to talk about obsessive thinking sperarate from the compulsive behavior that accompanies it.
I think it is kind of like the "chicken or the egg". Do the obsessive thoughts cause the compulsive behavior or does the compulsive behavior cause the obsessive thoughts. And there are so many things that can fall into this catagory that I am not really sure what really is a compulsion or an obsession. I mean, eating and thinking about your favorite food could be obsessive compulsive behavior.
As you are aware I dress full time. But even before I started presenting myself female all the time, I wore girls underwear exclusively for almost 10 years prior to that. During that time I tried to stop once after I said I would, but after two days I felt so bad I had to tell my wife she would have to divorce me because I could not stop. And I clearly remember having such anxiety that I could not concentrate at work. I was worried that I might get hurt at work because I was having so much distress.
For me it was not obsessive thinking about dressing, but it was a feeling of dispair, not being able to wear anything feminine. I felt like a part of me was missing It was like it gave me a sense of well being that vanished when I was not wearing the girls underwear. Before this I had purged several times and have always started wearing girls underwear in secret not long after the purge. Usually 4-6 months.
As for having a sexual aspect to it? When I was young, late teens and early twenties I was aroused while dressed, but I was also aroused when not dressed. The desire to dress did not subside with sexual release. I never needed to be dressed to be aroused, and never felt embarassed or ashamed(any more that what society already puts on one) being dressed after sexual gratification. I know that many CDers say that once they are relieved they take the clothes off.
I now dress all the time and really have hated the few times I had to put boy clothes on, to either go to divorce court or to some school function and removed them as soon as I got home. So I don't think that all crossdressing is related to sexuality. Hope this helps.
Love always,
Elizabeth
We have discussed this issue of obsessive thoughts before. And generally speaking it's hard to talk about obsessive thinking sperarate from the compulsive behavior that accompanies it.
I think it is kind of like the "chicken or the egg". Do the obsessive thoughts cause the compulsive behavior or does the compulsive behavior cause the obsessive thoughts. And there are so many things that can fall into this catagory that I am not really sure what really is a compulsion or an obsession. I mean, eating and thinking about your favorite food could be obsessive compulsive behavior.
As you are aware I dress full time. But even before I started presenting myself female all the time, I wore girls underwear exclusively for almost 10 years prior to that. During that time I tried to stop once after I said I would, but after two days I felt so bad I had to tell my wife she would have to divorce me because I could not stop. And I clearly remember having such anxiety that I could not concentrate at work. I was worried that I might get hurt at work because I was having so much distress.
For me it was not obsessive thinking about dressing, but it was a feeling of dispair, not being able to wear anything feminine. I felt like a part of me was missing It was like it gave me a sense of well being that vanished when I was not wearing the girls underwear. Before this I had purged several times and have always started wearing girls underwear in secret not long after the purge. Usually 4-6 months.
As for having a sexual aspect to it? When I was young, late teens and early twenties I was aroused while dressed, but I was also aroused when not dressed. The desire to dress did not subside with sexual release. I never needed to be dressed to be aroused, and never felt embarassed or ashamed(any more that what society already puts on one) being dressed after sexual gratification. I know that many CDers say that once they are relieved they take the clothes off.
I now dress all the time and really have hated the few times I had to put boy clothes on, to either go to divorce court or to some school function and removed them as soon as I got home. So I don't think that all crossdressing is related to sexuality. Hope this helps.
Love always,
Elizabeth