I live in the basement of my land lady's house. We were friends before I moved in here and she has taken pictures of me dressed up. For some reason I feel uncomfortable dressing in front of her. She brings up my cross dressing in conversations more than I do.
Any insights?
Strange problem
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Charlene
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Shannon
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Insights??? No don't have many of them... but I can relate. As I have stated (and it is obvious because of the other founder of this forum) my wife is very supportive of me and dressing.... but I too get uncomfortable about discussing it with her and dressing in front of her....
I still ofcourse dress in front of my wife, but I still find it somewhat uncomfortable.... So maybe I will learn from the insights others might have also....
I do think for me, my discomfort comes from the past 30 some years of being told what is right and what is wrong....
Shannon
I still ofcourse dress in front of my wife, but I still find it somewhat uncomfortable.... So maybe I will learn from the insights others might have also....
I do think for me, my discomfort comes from the past 30 some years of being told what is right and what is wrong....
Shannon
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LeftyRainbow(SO)
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Charlene,
I know that you stated you were friends before you moved in but just make sure that she is respectful of you as a person and not treating you like her "CD"ing friend.
If her conversations are bothing you ,let her know.
I know it sounds awkward as she's also your landlord but no one should press you if it makes you uncomfortable.
If she's truely your friend, she'll understand!
You can dress in front of her if and when you are ready but make sure it's your choice.
Good Luck
Lefty
I know that you stated you were friends before you moved in but just make sure that she is respectful of you as a person and not treating you like her "CD"ing friend.
If her conversations are bothing you ,let her know.
I know it sounds awkward as she's also your landlord but no one should press you if it makes you uncomfortable.
If she's truely your friend, she'll understand!
You can dress in front of her if and when you are ready but make sure it's your choice.
Good Luck
Lefty
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RikkiOfLA
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Hi Charlene,
Your landlady probably isn't aware (lack of experience) of the fact that your crossdressing needs to be your secret. After all, it is no reflection on her, but could be QUITE a reflection on you in the ears of the wrong person!
Just a wild thought--
Might she have (sexual/romantic) feelings for you?
I get some really off-base ideas at 2 in the morning!
Your landlady probably isn't aware (lack of experience) of the fact that your crossdressing needs to be your secret. After all, it is no reflection on her, but could be QUITE a reflection on you in the ears of the wrong person!
Just a wild thought--
Might she have (sexual/romantic) feelings for you?
I get some really off-base ideas at 2 in the morning!
Love and respect,
Rikki
Rikki
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Charlene
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Thanks for the in put. I'll answer everyone.
Shannon, you could be right about us being told it's wrong for us to CD. I don't mind her talking about it. It's just I feel uncomfortable dressing in front of her.
leftyrainbow(SO), we were friends several years before she found out about my CDing. I guess in my first post I wasn't clear, sorry for that. It's only dressing in front of her that I'm uncomfortable. Talking is OK.
RikkiOfLA, I am the only CDer that she knows. She is always commenting on how it's OK for women to wear men's clothes, but not the other way around. She is very understanding in that regard. No I don't think there is sexual/romantic connection here at all.
Shannon, you could be right about us being told it's wrong for us to CD. I don't mind her talking about it. It's just I feel uncomfortable dressing in front of her.
leftyrainbow(SO), we were friends several years before she found out about my CDing. I guess in my first post I wasn't clear, sorry for that. It's only dressing in front of her that I'm uncomfortable. Talking is OK.
RikkiOfLA, I am the only CDer that she knows. She is always commenting on how it's OK for women to wear men's clothes, but not the other way around. She is very understanding in that regard. No I don't think there is sexual/romantic connection here at all.
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Dixie Darling
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Charlene,
There is a possibility that your friend/landlord has a fascination about crossdressing. And with you very possibly being the only CD she knows, she's looking to you for information. You didn't indicate whether she was actually OK with it, but from your reply below it would seem that she is because she admittedly recognizes that there is a "double standard" in effect (women can openly wear masculine clothing but men can't do the same in feminine attire). You say that you're not comfortable appearing enfemme in front of her, but that you have no problems at all in talking about crossdressing with her. It would seem to me that after determining what her opinion was of the subject, IF she seems OK with it and shows an interest in seeing you dressed, that it would be to your advantage to have such a friend with whom you could just relax and socialize with while enfemme. Of course it would have to be made clear to her that this was strictly private and between ONLY the two of you.
She seems to have more than a casual interest in crossdressing and it appears that it's on the positive side. As I said, this can be to your advantage in that you have a great opportunity to educate her correctly about the subject. If she sees it as something that's positive, harmless, brings out the better side of one's personality, etc, SHE could be a good spokesperson to other GGs who are either unaware of what a CD really is like, or are skeptical about us. No one can communicate better with a GG than another GG and this is especially true when there's a somewhat controversial subject being discussed.
One other thing you might suggest to her (if indeed you determine that she's genuinely looking for solid information) is a few carefully selected web sites. Chose those which are supportive, factual, have genuinely valid information, and are "quality" sites. AVOID those that use sensationalism or are sexually oriented. You also might want to invite her to see the messages on THIS board.
Dixie Darling -- http://www.geocities.com/senorita_cd
There is a possibility that your friend/landlord has a fascination about crossdressing. And with you very possibly being the only CD she knows, she's looking to you for information. You didn't indicate whether she was actually OK with it, but from your reply below it would seem that she is because she admittedly recognizes that there is a "double standard" in effect (women can openly wear masculine clothing but men can't do the same in feminine attire). You say that you're not comfortable appearing enfemme in front of her, but that you have no problems at all in talking about crossdressing with her. It would seem to me that after determining what her opinion was of the subject, IF she seems OK with it and shows an interest in seeing you dressed, that it would be to your advantage to have such a friend with whom you could just relax and socialize with while enfemme. Of course it would have to be made clear to her that this was strictly private and between ONLY the two of you.
She seems to have more than a casual interest in crossdressing and it appears that it's on the positive side. As I said, this can be to your advantage in that you have a great opportunity to educate her correctly about the subject. If she sees it as something that's positive, harmless, brings out the better side of one's personality, etc, SHE could be a good spokesperson to other GGs who are either unaware of what a CD really is like, or are skeptical about us. No one can communicate better with a GG than another GG and this is especially true when there's a somewhat controversial subject being discussed.
One other thing you might suggest to her (if indeed you determine that she's genuinely looking for solid information) is a few carefully selected web sites. Chose those which are supportive, factual, have genuinely valid information, and are "quality" sites. AVOID those that use sensationalism or are sexually oriented. You also might want to invite her to see the messages on THIS board.
Dixie Darling -- http://www.geocities.com/senorita_cd
"If you're going to LOOK like a lady, then ACT like one too!"
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Charlene
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Hi Dixie. It's true, my land lady is supportive and she even has been out shopping with me. I do answer questions that she asks, and she's seen a few CD websites. I'm not ready to show her this site yet because I can finally talk to others about my CDing openly and I'm not ready to share this site with others yet. Give me some time and I may show her. I feel a little bad referring her as my land lady because she is my friend before all else.
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Kay(SO)
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Charlene,
Just sticking my nose in here too. I agree with Dixie, that she is probably curious and facsinated by it all. You just may be the most interesting person she knows. There is something intriguing to us GG's about the whole experience. Again, I agree with Dixie that though you feel uncomfortable it might be nice to put a positive spin on things and try to enjoy it. Now, I'll put on my therapist cap and ask, what is it exactly that bothers you dressing in front of her? Hmmmm... The last time I was with my husband and he was dressing he made a comment to me that took me by surprise and your post made me think of it. He said that when he's dressing with me he feels like such an amatuer. I asked him why and what he meant by that? He said that it's just different when he's alone. He doesn't care about doing things perfectly, doesn't feel the need to impress anyone and that if he gets his dress stuck on his head while trying to get out of it, there's no one there to see it. I simply smiled at him and told him that I get stuck in my clothes all the time, he doesn't need to work so hard to impress me, he already did that years ago and that nobody is perfect. I told him he's beautiful to all the time and to relax. I've never judged him and I'm not going to. Anyhoo, just my brain running off.
Kay(SO)
Just sticking my nose in here too. I agree with Dixie, that she is probably curious and facsinated by it all. You just may be the most interesting person she knows. There is something intriguing to us GG's about the whole experience. Again, I agree with Dixie that though you feel uncomfortable it might be nice to put a positive spin on things and try to enjoy it. Now, I'll put on my therapist cap and ask, what is it exactly that bothers you dressing in front of her? Hmmmm... The last time I was with my husband and he was dressing he made a comment to me that took me by surprise and your post made me think of it. He said that when he's dressing with me he feels like such an amatuer. I asked him why and what he meant by that? He said that it's just different when he's alone. He doesn't care about doing things perfectly, doesn't feel the need to impress anyone and that if he gets his dress stuck on his head while trying to get out of it, there's no one there to see it. I simply smiled at him and told him that I get stuck in my clothes all the time, he doesn't need to work so hard to impress me, he already did that years ago and that nobody is perfect. I told him he's beautiful to all the time and to relax. I've never judged him and I'm not going to. Anyhoo, just my brain running off.
Kay(SO)
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Dixie Darling
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Kay,
I couldn't help myself - I just HAD to reply to YOUR post. Not simply because you were in agreement with me about what I told Charlene, but to thank you for sharing your private conversations and thoughts with us about you and your husband's times together. It's a total thrill to hear storys, even short ones like that, about a CD and his accepting wife sharing their thoughts together totally unselfishly and with honesty and sincerity.
And since I've never had the experience that your husband enjoys of being able to dress and make myself up in front of an accepting wife, I can only imagine how it would feel to have the advice of such an 'expert' in the field of femininity who is so willing to share it with their man. I'd never thought about it before, since I've never had the experience of dressing in front of ANY woman, but I think I'd be sort of like your husband is. I would feel like a total amature in the presence of a master of the art. When dressing alone it isn't all that important to pay attention to minute details (yeah, like I'd know what those would be
) since it's only important to please the one who's dressing. But when you REALLY want to do it right I can identify with what your husband must be feeling. But he's most definitely a very BLESSED individual to have someone like you to "take him under your wings" and gently show him how to be the lady he feels inside.
Dixie -- http://www.geocities.com/senorita_cd
I couldn't help myself - I just HAD to reply to YOUR post. Not simply because you were in agreement with me about what I told Charlene, but to thank you for sharing your private conversations and thoughts with us about you and your husband's times together. It's a total thrill to hear storys, even short ones like that, about a CD and his accepting wife sharing their thoughts together totally unselfishly and with honesty and sincerity.
And since I've never had the experience that your husband enjoys of being able to dress and make myself up in front of an accepting wife, I can only imagine how it would feel to have the advice of such an 'expert' in the field of femininity who is so willing to share it with their man. I'd never thought about it before, since I've never had the experience of dressing in front of ANY woman, but I think I'd be sort of like your husband is. I would feel like a total amature in the presence of a master of the art. When dressing alone it isn't all that important to pay attention to minute details (yeah, like I'd know what those would be
) since it's only important to please the one who's dressing. But when you REALLY want to do it right I can identify with what your husband must be feeling. But he's most definitely a very BLESSED individual to have someone like you to "take him under your wings" and gently show him how to be the lady he feels inside.Dixie -- http://www.geocities.com/senorita_cd
"If you're going to LOOK like a lady, then ACT like one too!"
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Charlene
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Kay(SO), you could be right. I know that I'm not really good with my make up and I don't look like I would like to.
We talked a little about my CDing tonight and she is really OK with it. I asked her to be honest and tell me if she ever considered going out with a CD and she said it wasn't what she was looking for in a relationship.
We talked a little about my CDing tonight and she is really OK with it. I asked her to be honest and tell me if she ever considered going out with a CD and she said it wasn't what she was looking for in a relationship.
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CJ
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Hi Charlene,
I don't want to appear as though I'm oversimplifying the situation, here, but why don't you just ask her--as one friend to another--if she'd be willing to help you out with makeup and clothing? Invite her to get involved, in a non-sexual way, in the betterment of your femme self; you'd both gain experience by it. If she really is a friend, the worst that could happen is that she'd say "thanks, but no thanks." I used to have such a friend on the West Coast; she loved to show me how to apply makeup and would often point out this or that dress or skirt that she thought might look good on me. (To be honest, here, I never did dress in her presence--she never manifested any interest in seeing me actually en femme. Go figure.) Do you think that would be a possibility? Whatever happens, take a cue from Lefty here and make sure that the situation progresses at a pace you're comfortable with.
Love,
CJ
I don't want to appear as though I'm oversimplifying the situation, here, but why don't you just ask her--as one friend to another--if she'd be willing to help you out with makeup and clothing? Invite her to get involved, in a non-sexual way, in the betterment of your femme self; you'd both gain experience by it. If she really is a friend, the worst that could happen is that she'd say "thanks, but no thanks." I used to have such a friend on the West Coast; she loved to show me how to apply makeup and would often point out this or that dress or skirt that she thought might look good on me. (To be honest, here, I never did dress in her presence--she never manifested any interest in seeing me actually en femme. Go figure.) Do you think that would be a possibility? Whatever happens, take a cue from Lefty here and make sure that the situation progresses at a pace you're comfortable with.
Love,
CJ
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Charlene
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