Some thoughts on EV (Equality Virginia)

[Virginia]

There were 100+ attendees at this, for lack of a better term, political rally held in the student center at Virginia Commonwealth University.

SL and I attended four forums, plus the speaker at lunch. At the first three forums there were at least 20 people in each and a lot of good interaction. There were five other forums going on at the same time and it was pick-and-choose those that best suited you. All seemed well attended.

The fourth forum we attended, the last of the day, was really a first time for the EV to have a Caucus for Transgendered. Although the EV is a GLBT ------- "T" being the operative word. The Caucus was composed of the following: 1 - GG (guess who?); 1 - NOTS (yours truly); 2 "moderators" both were F to M; 1 post-op M to F; 1 pre-op M to F, and 1 - F?. That's it!!! I did learn one thing as I brought up the complexity that I thought that "we" on the crossdresser's continuum dealt with as participants in the realm of crossdressing. It appears that gays and lesbians feel that they too are dealing with complexities in their existence. Things like, for example, lesbians and whether or not they are subordinate or dominant and to what degree they happen to be, i.e., sub 1 or 2 or 3 or dom 1, 2 or 3. That gays deal with whether or not they may actually be gay as drag queens or female impersonators. Of course not all are FI or drag queens, but evidently enough to bring complexity into question.

See, it had been my contention that gays were gay and lesbians were lesbians, but "us", well, we were a much more complex entity, in general, heterosexual males, a lot with spouse, and children, but given to wearing clothing of the opposite sex - what's up with that! Sounds pretty complex to me!?

The good news for EV is that they have included on their board, both a MTF post-op and a FTM post-op. So we have good representation in that area, but a crossdresser - NO! Can't seem to drag one out of the closet long enough to support the cause.

Another topic that was touched on, but we ran out of time, was MTF transition and how the pre-op MTF felt that she was being treated by her "sisters" for being an activist! According to her, she was politely asked to leave the support group because the general consensus was that they, the group of pre-op T-girls, felt it was better for them to "remain off any one's radar" and to be "stealth!" What I wanted to bring up is why were there not more post-op MTF here at the rally???? Duh!!!!!!!

SL and I had a lesbian lawyer and a lesbian psycho-therapist both thank us for coming and participating. I kinda felt the therapist wanted to put me on her couch and walk around in my head for a while. I think that has been tried before and THEY seem to always end up screaming and running off into the night!!!

All in all it was worthwhile. I learned that there are quite a few GLBT activists out there, willing to get into any politician's face and "splain" a few things to them. Marriage, health care, DMV are but a few of the areas that are in contention. Job security, hate-crime, anti-discrimination are other areas. The enemy is the "Family Values" group that contests any legislation that would benefit any other group that is not WASP/with kids! And they have an evidently strong, active, lobby.

Well, its been a long day. Oh, for what its worth, I wore for the first time ever, a pair of yellowish-gold knee length, dress shorts, white 2" heel sandals and a white, long sleeve with bell cuffs peasant blouse and a light, white with gold buttons cover coat. Good thing, as it was cold in that building!

Nite ladies,

Virginia

[DeeDee]

Virginia

That was a very interesting post. Last week I went to what was a TS group. I was worried that they would hate me as a CD, but we had a lively and nice conversation. I think the barriers are coming down..oh sure..it will take time, but getting involved is so important. And yes, its not for everyone to be so out, but for us that can (and believe me..I still have limits) we really should do what we can for the community. If I get permission.....I'll post more of that meeting. I met the most amazing people. It was fascinating and made me think a lot..which hurt..ouch. I really would like to see the walls come down within the "TG" society. We are what we are..and I love what I am...finally.

DeeDee

[SilverLady(SO)]

We are what we are..and I love what I am...finally.

DeeDee, I am so glad that you have reached this level . . . isn't it wonderful?!!!?

I think the barriers are coming down..oh sure..it will take time, but getting involved is so important. And yes, its not for everyone to be so out, but for us that can (and believe me..I still have limits) we really should do what we can for the community.

Absolutely, and that is exactly what Virginia and I saw, and were doing ourselves, at the EV Conference.

I enjoyed the Conference and the workshops that we attended, especially as I was able to help educate some of the attendees regarding the MTF CD's. The discussion in one workshop was talking about how the internet has helped many gays and lesbians, and especially their families and friends. I mentioned the MTF CD, how they are being overlooked (and sometimes ignored) under the broad TG umbrella, and this Forum (as well as other CD forums) and their positive support and influences for the CD, their SO, and families and friends.

As has been mentioned here many times before, "most" people think of the MTF CD as being gay, or automatically wanting to have SRS. I know by my telling those attendees that those thoughts are incorrect - coming from a very supporting SO as well as a SiteAdmin to a CD Forum - helped to lend credence to what I was saying. They were all listening and paying attention!

The looks on their faces showed they were very surprised when I told them that most MTF CDs are heterosexual; they are married and have families; and most do not want to transition. I explained that there is a full spectrum of participants on the CD Continuum, and those who decide to transition are not really CD . . . and that is where the confusion lies, for them as well as the public. No, the CD is not homophobic, but it appears that way when trying to explain that most CDs are hetero, only because so many people think the CD is gay or a DQ/FI.

I mentioned that I feel that I, as a GG, have the best of both worlds, my macho man and my best girlfriend in the same body, and almost all the GG's (straight and lesbian) had a curious, and then envious, look on their faces . . . it was obvious that they had never looked at the MTF CD in that aspect before.

The discussion about CD's couldn't go much deeper in the workshop itself, unfortunately, but we did mention that the CD is born this way . . . they can suppress it, repress it, ignore it, or whatever, but one day the "inner woman" is going to demand to be let out, in one form or another, because she is not going away.


We need to change the public's mind-set about the CD, and that is what we were attempting to do. Based upon the questions and positive comments Virginia and I received throughout the day, I know that we succeeded with at least quite a few participants at the EV Conference.


*Hugs*

- SL

[Curly(SO)]

We need to change the public's mind-set about the CD, and that is what we were attempting to do. Based upon the questions and positive comments Virginia and I received throughout the day, I know that we succeeded with at least quite a few participants at the EV Conference.

Well done to Virginia and S.L!=D>

Hurrah for speaking up for crossdressers

Love and hugs,
Curly

[Tekla]

When I was on the Human Rights Commission I was the only CD, all the rest were TS. Didn't bother me or them. Some of the stuff, medical coverage, was not germane to me and I let them have at it, but I did push hard for a proper wording to the bathroom deal (use as you present) and for all new building to have unisex bathrooms (no way we could get existing structures to do it, too expensive, but it has impacted new sites). I also ended up working with the parts dealing with the police and sex workers. A total education for me on both ends of that. A lot stuff I was told, heard and saw still breaks my heart today.

But we can, and should step up. Nothing to lose but our chains as they say.

I am convinced that the only real way to change though is one-on-one. The little interactions, not the huge statements. And everyone can do that, every day in every way.

[DonnaT]

Just some links resently posted from HRC:

A video click here

The State of the Workplace

A CNN report 'Trans'-forming Corporate America

[DeeDee]

Broward County (Fort Lauderdale) will be having meetings concerning TG protection tonight and Friday. Susan Stanton will attend a meeting on Friday. Recently the Fort Lauderdale mayor made some negative remarks about anyone out of the "mainstream", showing his bigotry.

http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/local/ ... 1192.story

In addition, there continues to be fragmentation in the GLBT community as shown in this article:

http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/local/ ... 8751.story

A number of the people I met two meeks ago at a meeting will be making public statements supporting proposed TG bills, so well worth following as they are so dedicated. We're not there yet, but we're trying.

DeeDee

[DeeDee]

Just an update.....I couldn't attend the meeting last night due to stupid work problems...gotta hate that. But my GF went and she was so excited as to how it all went. Susan Stanton looked so nice in a black and white skirt, black top. She exudes condidence I've been told. Other speakers were eloquent also, and there were about 60-80 people there...including politicians. This is all second hand info, but my friend showed me some pics.....darn work, would have loved to be there. Basically the meeting was a building block for proposed T protection language in already exsisting anti-discrimination laws. And, all was not lost for me, enjoyed a late night swim in my cement pond and we talked all about it. Oh, and not saying what I wore....but my tankini is still wet It ain't all bad out there, its so great to hear that there is dialoque happening. Gosh, sometimes ya get a warm fuzzy feeling
hugs all
DeeDee

[DeeDee]

I'd just like to post a brief article about the meeting I mentioned. And I post it without comment other than there are some comments that hit home.

Trans rights fight takes center stage
Forum at GLCC in Fort Lauderdale highlights issue

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Susan Stanton, the transgendered former city manager of Largo, Fla., recalled an incident at a public hearing earlier this year when she was still Steve Stanton, in the eyes of the public at least, and fighting to keep her job. A man approached her with his hand extended. Thinking the man was going to wish her luck, she shook his hand. Suddenly a hateful look flashed on the man's face.

"Where is your bubbles dress, you faggot?" the man said.

Stanton was fired from her job as city manager after her plans to transition from a man to a woman became public. Her story was one of the highlights of a town hall meeting held at the Gay & Lesbian Community Center of South Florida on Aug. 3. Presented by the Human Rights Campaign, "Equality for All: A Town Hall Dialogue on Transgender Issues" featured several transgendered individuals, who told their stories and answered questions from the audience.

"This is what I am, and this is what God has made," Stanton said. "It is not a lifestyle. It is not what people choose to do. I've joked, `Gee, I wish I were gay. It would be so much easier.'"

Susan Stanton, the former city manager of Largo, Fla., was one of the speakers at the Aug. 3 town hall meeting on transgendered issues at the GLCC in Fort Lauderdale.

It has not been easy for Blue, a transgendered high school student who spoke at the HRC forum. "My dad was angry and blamed himself," Blue said. "My mom thought it was a phase, and my sister said I needed spiritual help."

Blue said she didn't realize she was trans "until I hit puberty." She started getting in a lot of fights at school because of people not accepting who she was. She began to research the transgender issue and joined a support group at her school for GLBT students.

She is now looking forward to the future as a transgendered woman, but there are many unanswered questions in her life.

"Do I want to graduate as a woman? And will I be able to get a job in which I'll be accepted for who I am?" she wondered.

"We were created in this society for a specific purpose," said Tracee McDaniel, executive director and founder of Juxtaposed Center for Transformation. "There are too many transgendered individuals who are suffering in silence because we're being fired from our jobs and not getting good health care."

McDaniel said transgendered people are constantly battling the notion that transgenderism goes against God's plan for the individual.

"There are those who say we were not meant to be," she said. "There are those who would use the Bible to dehumanize us. But I use the verses in Mathew 19.11 and 19.12 as my personal shield." McDaniel was referring to a story in the Bible in which Jesus expressed compassion for and acceptance of a eunuch. She said it showed that Jesus would accept transgendered people.

Much of the discussion at the Aug. 3 forum, including the audience questions, focused on spiritual issues related to transgenderism. One audience member asked if the transgendered panelists ever got angry at God and, if so, how they dealt with their anger.

Stanton said she went to church and prayed the morning before the public hearing that resulted in her being fired as city manager.

"I asked God for the gift not to internalize the hate and the venom that was going to be thrown at me," Stanton said.

Stanton, who was city manager of Largo for 17 years before being fired in February, said she lost almost all of her friends as a result of her decision to transition. But she is now making new friends.

"About once a month, I have a pity party for myself," Stanton said. "But the anger doesn't last very long."

Stanton, who is a long-distance runner, said she uses running and writing in her journal to diffuse any anger.

"After running for two hours, you don't have enough energy to be angry," she said.

Stanton said she made the decision to transition in 2003 because "I didn't want to continue to live in a world of two genders. I was Susan on the weekends and Steve during the week."

An audience member asked how the panelists respond to people who cite a biblical objection to transitioning.

"Maybe the Bible says that to them because that's what they're looking for it to say," Blue said. "If you look for something else, you will find it in the Bible as well."

Paul Palmer, an HRC board member, said HRC had made a decision not to move forward with any hate-crimes bill that doesn't include gender expression and identity. He said including transgender protections is not an impediment to passing a hate-crimes bill.

"Gender identity was not the push-back issue this year," he said.

Stanton noted that transgendered people come from all walks of like.

"Many people perceive the person who is transgendered as the person on the `Jerry Springer Show,'" she said. "They don't see the doctor or the person next door who is transgendered. But that's who we are."

hugs all

DeeDee