Crossdressers-Haven.com

Okay maybe it's just me, but I feel my male self is overcompensating for the feminine me. I look at what I do as a job and hobbies and find that they are very masculine as opposed to more feminine interests. For example:

A. I'm in the service
B. I'm an ex-firefighter
C. I play the guitar
D. I build model kits of ships, motorbikes, planes and cars
E. I watch mainly action and war movies
F. I drink beer and bourbon (B & B)
G. I play soccer and rugby

However on the opposite end of the scale, I would rather my spend time enjoying:

A. Home duties
B. Chocolate and a tear jerker/chick fkick
C. Classical and zen music
D. Drawing and painting
E. A nice high quality wine over B & B
F. I loathe manly sports
G. I'd rather talk to GG's than listen to men talking their Macho BS & stories of their conquests
H. Dressing and makeovers
I. Shopping for pretty things, clothes and make up
J. I'd rather be a secretary/receptionist for a CD/TG advisor/therapist (or be the advisor/therapist

Is the first overcompensating for the desire to do the second?
Am I trying to hide from who I really am inside?

Ladies, and yes that includes SO's, your thoughts please. I know that deep within I feel as though I am overcompensating the feminine with the masculine, but I would just like to hear others perceptions and if they too are in this Homme/Femme cycle. I truly believe deep within my heart that I am meant to be following my feminine path, to which I am starting to do something about. I am just curious as to others thoughts.

Thanx Ladies (one and all)

Hayley wrote:... I feel my male self is overcompensating for the feminine me. I look at what I do as a job and hobbies and find that they are very masculine as opposed to more feminine interests.
A. I'm in the service
B. I'm an ex-firefighter
C. I play the guitar
D. I build model kits of ships, motorbikes, planes and cars
E. I watch mainly action and war movies
F. I drink beer and bourbon (B & B)
G. I play soccer and rugby
However on the opposite end of the scale, I would rather my spend time enjoying:
A. Home duties
B. Chocolate and a tear jerker/chick fkick
C. Classical and zen music
D. Drawing and painting
E. A nice high quality wine over B & B
F. I loathe manly sports
G. I'd rather talk to GG's than listen to men talking their Macho BS & stories of their conquests
H. Dressing and makeovers
I. Shopping for pretty things, clothes and make up
J. I'd rather be a secretary/receptionist for a CD/TG advisor/therapist (or be the advisor/therapist
Is the first overcompensating for the desire to do the second?
Am I trying to hide from who I really am inside?

Possibly not an answer, but some feedback any way ...
~
On the "I Am" side ...
A) to me, "military" is an entire area all by itself ... as an "alternative" to the "sterotypical" "maleish military type, I like to think of Admiral Grace Hopper ... she may well have been Androgynous; I don't know, but from seeing a few video clips and reading a bit of her thinking, she seemed to put her brains in front of the camera; not her gender; which tells me she was too busy being Grace Hopper to have any gender identity hangups ... parallel, in the world of fine art, I like to think of West Coast Canadian Artist Emily Carr in a similar light ... her creations stand tall in the realms of physical nature, and human emotional / spiritual content, oil on canvas paintings ... she lived a rather rugged physical life in laying down her soul and her visions, and while I haven't studied her biography, documentary coverage of her life suggests she was too busy being an artist and an individual to waste time and energy on gender issues

B) exciting ... lucky you had the physique ... I was attracted to the action of the job and really wanted to go there ... I had some relatives in firefighting ... but I was physically too small for the job

C) I play bass ... it feels physically more comfortable if I play sans bra ... but my music comes from my soul ... I've never thought of my music as a "chic magnet" ... I wouldn't mind meeting a lady drummer if she was a really good drummer but I'll usually prefer to play with those I feel I can groove and grow with musically

D) Interesting and detailed work ... one of the most gorgegous, feminine looking, and diverse GGirls I ever had a really big crush on (met her working on a jobsite wearing jeans, a bulky sweater and safety boots) was a civil engineer who played classical piano and liked The Eagles

E) Clint Eastwood fans don't get much more loyal than me

F) lost my appetite for alcohol and drugs ... had a beer with supper tonite for the first time in 4 months

G) again, I'm too small (and now lazy) ... I used to play a dirty game of squash ... my ex-wife was just as good and she was all woman unlike some of her competitive adversaries
~
Depending on the company and my interests, I can relate to lots of your "I'd rather be" side ...

These days, I'm so wrapped up in my music that I really don't have any time to be thinking about Male versus Female headspaces ...

I'm Marda, a musician making up for lots of lost time ... I didn't stop on the way home tonite A) at a tasty looking and well stocked consignment store full of dresses, sweaters, blouses, tops and skirts, and B) at the mall to buy some new bras and panties on sale because a) I'm now saving money again for yet another bass, and b) I have to get my music over before 10 PM due to an early rising neighbour ...

I splurged on cashews instead of chocolate this week ...

I had a major battle today (and I'm winning) with a female bank official who picked the wrong TGirl to mess with ... I think she mistakenly ID'd me as a "Male" in accordance with her official human resources and customer service indoctrination, and got in way too deep with her female business bitch routine before I opened her eyes to *my* reality ... I've already placed the calls to the national President's office and enlightened her to the fact that I learned some of *my* professional customer service skills in the ladies clothing industry ...

Wine to me is alcohol ... nothing more ... and I've been fortunately exposed over time to some really fine stuff ...

Most "chick flicks" to me are demeaning, and pure garbage ... IHMO

I'd rather converse with "fun" and/or "progressive thinking" *People* ... I have equal numbers of male and female friends ... everybody else is just part of the herd to me ...

Just me, but "dressing & makeovers" would get in the way of my music ... if I had an important gig, and I could afford it, I'd certainly hire a personal image consultant to assist with the visuals ... but then I'm a rhythm section player and typically we don't get much of the spotlight ...

some of the finest musicians in my area are very feminine looking females ... even the more "androgynous" looking ones, always try to look "professional" on stage in accordance with their physical body type ... but happily, it's always the music that is foremost in everybody's minds ... GGuy musicians all look like GGuy musicians to me ... maybe that's how I look ???

I've had so many occupations in my career, these days, while presently unemployed, I'm trying to line up a job I can do well and get home on time for music ... I have no interest in associating with workmates ... professionalism is what counts on the job for me ... the rest is all a distraction ... I'm not lonely enough to look forward to going to work for the human contact ... I'd even rather win the lottery and retire to my studio and tour museums and art galleries of the world ...
~

Now ... having said all this ... am I overcompensating for anything more than my own sense of "lost" (spent) time (due to previous learning experiences) ???
What does that all make me ??? besides of course,
Marda ... Musician extraordinaire

/Marda

Hayley ,

your a lucky girl to have such a large range of interests

for me, I am a rail-nerd and dont really get interested in anything else

Merinda Widget wrote:...I am a rail-nerd and dont really get interested in anything else

Is That OK With You ?
/Marda

First, Merinda- What is a rail-nerd? a fan of things relating to trains?

Hayley-
I think you may just want to blend all the things that you find interesting into one big pot and just enjoy all of them without separating them into gender role-based interests.

More often I find, and I may take a hit for this, that many CDs, TVs, and TSs (that I've known) over compensate toward the female side. That they become caricatures of women. Wearing the highest heels, the full face make-up, shortest, frilliest skirts ALL the time.

I am on a rowing team, I row but also am the only woman on my team who can perform the job of coxswain (traditionally only a man's job). But I also make quilts. I despise doing housework, and I'm not a good shopper- my ex-husband used to say I was missing some woman genes. Funny guy he was, except he was serious.

As CJ consistently, and very eloquently states over and over in this forum, we are all human. Simply human with similar needs, desires and interests.

To quote/paraphrase Nichiren Daishonin:
Enjoy what there is to enjoy, suffer what there is to suffer, and when you drink sake, stay at home with your wife (SO).

Hey Hayley

Hmmm.....Interesting....Wery interesting...... I will look at your points one at a time and try to give you a perspective from my vantage point

A: In the service

Ah, now one would think this a particulary masculin thing to do, but throught history female warriors can be found: Catalina de Erauso, Joan of Arc, Maria of Pozzuoli, Order of the Glorious Saint Mary, Sigelgaita. For more info on these women check out: http://www.swordmaiden.com/history/mundane/index.php

B: I'm an ex-firefighter

My personal opinion on why there haven't been more female firefighters, is only because it had been made very difficult for a woman to enter this profession.

C: I play the guitar

Check out http://www.ladysixstring.com I have always wanted to learn to play the guitar as well as the piano. One day when I have the time, I will

D. I build model kits of ships, motorbikes, planes and cars

This is also something that I want to delve into when time permits

E. I watch mainly action and war movies

I am a big fan of those, too.

F. I drink beer and bourbon (B & B).

I hate beer, but mmmmm....bourbon

G. I play soccer and rugby

I enjoy playing baseball, basketball, field hockey, and soccer.

However on the opposite end of the scale, I would rather my spend time enjoying:

A. Home duties

I give that a big BLECH I don't mind doing the chores, but it is not something I find enjoyable.

B. Chocolate and a tear jerker/chick fkick

Mmmmmm....Chocolate But I dislike tear jerker/chic flicks.

C. Classical and zen music

Me too

D. Drawing and painting

This gets another, me too There is also an abundance of male artists throughout history as well as today.

E. A nice high quality wine over B & B

Myself, I love both and I drink whichever I happen to be in the mood to.

F. I loathe manly sports

See my reply above to:

G. I play soccer and rugby

G. I'd rather talk to GG's than listen to men talking their Macho BS & stories of their conquests

I would rather talk with the guys, even though I too,can do without the macho BS. Although, I don't think that has anything to do with being male or female. I am just more interested in say talking about cars, than about the latest fashion. Now I have many girlfriends who enjoy talking about cars and other such "manly" things, too

H. Dressing and makeovers

I don't much go in for that. On occasion though, I may be in the mood to dress up and put on some make-up. Doesn't happen often, though

I. Shopping for pretty things, clothes and make up

Again, this is something I really do not enjoy, except on very rare, and I mean very rare occasions I am in the mood to.

J. I'd rather be a secretary/receptionist for a CD/TG advisor/therapist (or be the advisor/therapist

I don't enjoy being a secretary. I do it because I have to. There is only myself and Ahzz to run TerraBox. I could however enjoy being a therapist.

Is the first overcompensating for the desire to do the second?

I don't think so. You are a human being with many different likes and interests. If you take away the societal boundaries and labels, you will notice that there really isn't much difference between the sexes. We are all humans and we all share the same emotions and characteristcs. Emotions are gender neutral as are personality traits. Society has chosen to seperate and label them.

Am I trying to hide from who I really am inside?

Nah, I think you are just learning and discovering who you really are on the inside Instead of putting gender labels on certain things, why not look at it as you are either in the mood for a glass of wine or that yummy glass of bourbon.

Not sure if I helped any I just thought I would share my perspective

*Hugs & Love*

MariasGirl(SO) wrote:I think you may just want to blend all the things that you find interesting into one big pot and just enjoy all of them without separating them into gender role-based interests.

More often I find, and I may take a hit for this, that many CDs, TVs, and TSs (that I've known) over compensate toward the female side. That they become caricatures of women. Wearing the highest heels, the full face make-up, shortest, frilliest skirts ALL the time.

~
I'll drink 2 that

~
And I'll offer that way too many GGs "Play the conventional female side wayyy out of proportion to reality & needs ... to me it's the female equivalent of MachoMale ... they "establish" the caricaturized "role models" that many (insecure?) CDs etc emmulate and then wha'd'ya have eventually but an entire world full of fakes and weirdos ... what's a good word to describe this ??? I'm feeling too "polite" *AGAIN* right now

/Marda

It's only overcompensation if you do things you don't like and ignor those you do like.

So, of the list of things you do do, which ones do you not like, destest hate.

Of the second list, which ones have you done, like, but ignor for feeling they may be too feminine?

Also of the second list, which have you not done, but think you'd like to do only because you are a CD?

I was a Sgt in the Army, took no guff and had the two best signal teams in the 2nd Armored Div.

I am into woodworking, and am a jack of most trades.

Used to race cars (drag and sprints), which of course required the mechanical aspects too.

Diabetic so don't drink much, but don't have a taste for wine.

Play the harmonica some.

None of that was compensating for anything, just what I liked to do.

Hi all,

Hayley,

There may be some truth to what you say; I recognize these feelings within myself, too. My having feminine tendencies too often leads to my believing (mistakenly, I think) that I thereby must be lacking something in the "male behaviour" department. My friends and colleagues tell me that, not only is that not true, but my boy mode looks and behaviour are more than merely adequate. They also tell me that they can see this overcompensation at work in me; they find it difficult to square my gentle, somewhat passive character with what they think of as my macho image. And it is an image only; I'll sometimes let my beard grow a little and wear jeans and shirts with the sleeves rolled up (at one point, I used to wear cowboy boots and sport a ponytail, too!).

Still, I tell them, "this is what you see, but it isn't the whole truth" (as they well know). I work in a helping profession; I enjoy conversation almost above all else; I love to draw and write; I'm a somewhat introverted person (not really shy, but close); often, I will dress a bit more androgynously; I shy away from violence and defuse it where I can (okay, so video games are an exception, but that's all they are, to me--games); I'm soft-spoken; etc., etc. So, if there's overcompensation going on, well, in my case, it must be strictly in my looks.

As Donna points out, maybe you can consider that you're overcompensating if you wind up doing things you'd rather not, just to show others that you are, indeed, and by all traditional accounts, a man. But, really, when you think about it, other than matters that have to do with our sexual and reproductive characteristics, what is it that men do that women can't do? To my mind, absolutely nothing. Overcompensating then becomes like pushing ghosts out of the way; it's a losing proposition, one on which we waste far too much energy that could better be used elsewhere.

Having said this, like Jassmine, I think you just have a wide range of interests and that these passions and hobbies and occupations are yours to hold fast to, regardless of whether you're in boy mode or en femme (for example, see the photo of Julie M. in her workshop--never have I seen skirts and hammers go so well together). I've been told that I overcompensate my male looks to make up for my own perceived lack of masculinity. Not true; it's just who I am. (I've also been told that I overcompensate mentally, by intellectualizing everything, in order to make up for an alleged lack of self-esteem or an inability to handle emotions. Again, not true; I'm my father's son, and it's just who I am.) In the end, Hayley, I wouldn't worry about it too much. You're just you!

MG,

I've heard this often from women (SO's or not), this fact that crossdressers tend to go to extremes in their self-presentation. Again, I think there's a lot of truth to that. I've often wondered why (because, yes, I also recognize that in my own behaviour when dressed). I think this may be overcompensation of a different nature, though. As masculine men (how we usually present to the world), our perceived surfeit of femininity leads us to overcompensate our maleness whereas, as feminine men--or males as women--(how we usually present to ourselves, to our mind) our actual lack of femininity leads us to overcompensate our femaleness... to such an extent that every little signifier of both womanhood (the narrow waist, the curve of the breast, the smooth skin, the more delicate facial features, etc.) and femininity (the makeup, the sleek and sheer and sensuous clothes, the self-pampering, the heightened emotional sensitivity, the often wild and creative presentation of self, etc.) becomes magnified tenfold. It's not surprising, really. And you won't be taking any hits from me for bringing that up. Because it's true. I don't know if this will make a lot of sense or not but, as a woman, you might look at a man impersonating a woman and say, "Nope. No way. He looks nothing like the way I see myself." But, to a man impersonating a woman, he might look in a mirror and say, "Yep. Definitely. What I see now is everything that is the exact opposite of what others see when they look upon me as a man." In other words, it's not so much that what we look like as women is just a man's (flawed) idea of what a woman's actually supposed to look like, but, rather, what we see is a reflection of all those highlighted and enhanced features that are not supposed to be associated with who the "world out there" tells us we ought to be, based on our anatomical sex. Crossdressers will hunt down that last, lonely facial hair with utmost concentration. They'll make sure the seams on their opera hose are straighter than a plumb line. Anything that is possible to get just so, so that it fairly shouts, "I am Woman," will be worked on. Hence, we sometimes do, indeed, look like caricatures. Our appearance, by the way, is never intended as a misogynistic and insulting parody; it's always meant as the highest and most sincerest form of compliment, regardless of our ability or desire (or lack thereof) to pass.

Ouch! I rambled. Sorry. I'm shutting up now.

That's what happens when the fire grabs you, I guess.

Love,
CJ

Thank you all Ladies,

I see where this is heading, and that is maybe I shouldn't see it as overcompensating, but broadening my horizons by combining all my interests.

I think it was Donna T that asked what I did and didn't like to do of the two lists. However Donna, of the things on the second list are things I do actually enjoy doing and not because I'm a CD. When I came home from Overseas Deployment last year I did the home duties thing every day as I was on leave for six weeks. I loved every minute of it, and did not enjoy returning to Base at all.

Marias wrote, "More often I find, and I may take a hit for this, that many CDs, TVs, and TSs (that I've known) over compensate toward the female side. That they become caricatures of women. Wearing the highest heels, the full face make-up, shortest, frilliest skirts ALL the time". Fortunately for me that is not the case, I am very conservative or casual in my dressing. But I will agree that a majority do go to the Enth degree.

CJ and Jassmine,
Again Girls, you both speak volumes of sense to me. If only a fine mix of both sides to my personality can be found then maybe I wouldn't have this little niggly inner confusion.

Merinda Honey,
Fear not the world needs Rail-nerds. And I used to love sitting outside a rail station to watch the Loco's go chuffing along. I remember as a child standing on an pedestrian overpass and frolicking in the steam as the 3801 passed underneath, and had the absolute pleasure of doing so again four years ago.

Thank you all for your comments. It has been most enlightening, and I would love to hear others opinions as well.

Hi Hayley,

When someone is having a struggle with male and feminine issues a lot can go on with our conscious and unconscious psyche. All males have the image of the feminine within them, whether they realise it or not and whether they admit it or not and it can happen from time to time that the ‘ law of opposites’ interplays between both sides. If one side becomes excessively dominant in our personality to the extent that we are unconsciously concentrating our energies to that side, e.g excessively overdeveloping the feminine, then the opposite (male side) attempts to exert itself to effect the balance and this often leads to people going to extremes to be extroverted in male type activities.

My past experiences taught me that during times of added stress was when my gender issues effected my day to day functions. The fight between the two increased in intensity and frequency to the level where I tried to consciously make the male side the dominant and engaged myself in male activities, I even went to the extent when I was 20 to attempt to join the armed forces but I think their psychological tests showed I wasn’t suitable.

If you can identify when and under what circumstances your issues become the most intense then that can sometimes give you a lead to the ‘why’. Does it happen compulsively to the extent either issue overwhelms you, or is it just an expression of who you are. Sometimes if you can decipher what function in your life the feminine plays, e.g if it’s just a sexual thing or is it part of your gender identity, also how it has developed over time and how it has or hasn’t changed over time, then one can often find out what direction the female identity is going in and what is happening with the male identity.

It’s quite common for our conscious psyche to be completely unaware of what is happening with the unconscious psyche. It can happen that the unconscious is concentrating on developing the feminine whereas the conscious psyche concentrates on the male and this is where excessive emphasis on one side can make the opposite side emerge more intensely to try and create the balance. Where a lot of problems originate seems to be where a person has no conscious awareness that the female side wants to be the dominant and they try to keep the two identities separate, but instead of both sides working together, conflict occurs, which leads to confusion and psychological problems.

I think you appreciate that the most complex situation is when we don’t know which direction we need to head in, you are obviously having an inner struggle. If we have one gender identity and two gender roles then I well know the complexity and the frustration it causes. Often we need someone to help us through it, fortunately there are now excellent therapists about who deal in gender issues, although in my case I must say that the people who were of most value to me were from the TG community.
I think you’re up in the NT aren’t you, not the most comforting place for someone with gender issues I know and far removed from assistance. I believe the most important thing for anyone experiencing gender issues is to have personal contact with others. If we suffer in silence then it can often all become much more than it really is. It can all become such a bundled up mess inside our brain, the complexities of two gender roles, sex roles, biological sex, sexual orientation and the fluidity which we can experience all goes to make it an uneasy path to travel at times and often we need outside help to work through it to find the right direction we need to go in.

I wish you well, where ever your journey takes you.

Kind Regards.

Sally.

Sally wrote:I believe the most important thing for anyone experiencing gender issues is to have personal contact with others. If we suffer in silence then it can often all become much more than it really is. It can all become such a bundled up mess inside our brain, the complexities of two gender roles, sex roles, biological sex, sexual orientation and the fluidity which we can experience all goes to make it an uneasy path to travel at times and often we need outside help to work through it to find the right direction we need to go in.

~ Interesting post as usual Sally ...

Pls clarify ... I assume you mean "personal contact with others" of the CD "sisterhood" or of some "understanding / acceptance / support" with whom we can be ourselves and speak confidentially; and hopefully someone(s) who will assist, or at least not inhibit our growth and our journey ??

I used to think I'd be safer and more accepted as an Androgynous person by being / working in a female dominated environment and "opening" myself to *their* realm ... as it turns out, I was treated far worse in that environment than ever before and ever since in the most brutal of male dominated environments ...
~
Interestingly, it seems the "spirit" was "within me", and all I needed, to break out of my shell, was some *Sense of contact* such as through this forum, to help me focus my vision, and self-trigger my energies enough to escape the "psychic prison" in which I'd been barely surviving, and of course in which I almost died ...

Of course, contrary to the popular and "conventional wisdom" of forum membership mindsets, and of course the outside WOM, to my understanding, no small part of my escape is directly due to influence from a Greater Power

/Marda

Yes Marda, I mean exactly that. If someone has deep issues or conflict with their gender identity then they will never know the benefit of personal contact with others who have been down that road, until they personally experience what it can do for them.

Just to be able to sit down quietly in a secure environment with others who have been there done that can be of more value than spending many thousands of dollars on therapy. They are able to assess things together, exchange feelings and experiences and work through it together, and all the time being amongst people who do fully understand all the feelings and emotional turmoil we can experience from time to time.

So many people are fluid in the fact that one day they feel one way and the next day they fell something different, they shift from one side to the other and there are so many variables and to try and explain the emotional depth of it all to someone who has never felt it all and who is not like us is an impossibility, they can never comprehend the enormity of how it can effect our daily function, no matter how many diplomas or degrees they hold. Only someone of the identical paraculture can possibly really know how it is and this is where personal contact with others, whether they be CD through to TS, is of untold value.

Actually feeling the sensation is how the reality is created, it can never be created through text books, lectures or any other method, it cannot be learnt, the reality is born within, so whilst therapists who don't experience the reality have their value to a degree, they are a secondary substitute for the 'real thing', i.e sitting down with our peers and being able to talk about it, bare the soul and ask questions with all parties on the same level.

This has been my experience and that of many others too and continues to be the situation which is of greatest value to those trying to find their direction. Even professional therapists recommend to their clients to seek contact with others, it's the greatest feeling if one is emotionally insecure about their gender to be in company from time to time with their own, you see the world in a different light. Our persona is usually a compromise between our individuality and the expectations of others, when we're secure amongst our peers we can dispose of the public face we assume for others and this can be the best therapy one can ever experience.

Kind Regards.

Sally.

Sally,

You are correct in surmising that I am in the NT. Unlike my previous address where Sydney (Seahorse Society) was only a 1 1/2 hr drive away, here in the Top End we have nothing in the way of a CD Support Group. There is plenty up here advertised for the GLBT Community, but to find CD specific groups, well, it is essentially non-existant.

I found I was coping better with my gender roles when I had my once a month trip to Sydney. It is difficult even to find someone to talk to up here. Tracy if you are reading this, no offence intended Honey. You have the Gay Mens Line, but chances of them being reachable is laughable, and I am not being facetious about that either. I have tried on several occasions to contact them but they are an after hours service, and even then they are difficult to reach, And are non-existant especially on weekends, when one has time to talk. Other than the GML, there is Crisisline and they are mainly focussed on Domestic Violence, Suicide Prevention etc, not Gender issues.

Sure the local Gay Nightclub Throb is very DQ friendly but, due to it's open communal crowd and my career, well put it this way, it's not the best place for me to go dressed. At least with the Seahorse Society there was a comfortable communal atmosphere, that provided security. I cared not that the girls knew of my choice of employ, as we were all there for each other. I think that is what I miss the most, that personal contact with the girls and GG's. The open discussion face to face, was/is of great benefit to anyone who has something they need to discuss. Hence my question here on the forum. It is the closest one can get to face to face with the Girls, without physical presence.

I think you have hit the nail on the head when you say, confusion is generated when there is no-one to discuss things with. This is not meant to be an afront to the wonderful gang we have here on the forum. Even someone to chat with over the phone would be nice from time to time, but then one dislikes putting others out timewise, we all have lives to live. That's where the Support Groups are so appropriate, as we are all there to make the time for each other, and confront any issues that arise, without putting anyone out.

Thanks for your response it has opened my eyes just that bit more and given me something to think about in the way I deal with my gender roles.

Sally wrote:Actually feeling the sensation is how the reality is created, it can never be created through text books, lectures or any other method, it cannot be learnt, the reality is born within, so whilst therapists who don't experience the reality have their value to a degree, they are a secondary substitute for the 'real thing', i.e sitting down with our peers and being able to talk about it, bare the soul and ask questions with all parties on the same level.

Here in Canada, domestic and foreign "Free-Enterprise" and Right Wing Political forces are applying increasing pressure on our "National (Provincial) Healty Care" systems and infrastructures ...

these forces are mired deep in some archaic, unidimensional, WOM philosophies purporting that the only, truely effective, Health Care is that which can be that delivered on a market driven, "for-profit" basis ...

needless to say, Canadians, for some decades now, have benefited from a "publicly" funded and administered Health Care infrastructure, and but for the ongoing and typically foibles of any human organizations, should contniue to do so for some time ...
~
I find the imagined "for-profit" system of "Health Care for CDs" to be positively nightmarish ... I can almost see "WalMart Piercing, Tatooing & Breast Enhancement Emporiums" in funding partnerships with Regional Boards of Public Education ...
and I can almost see the next HighSchool kid fad ... Breasts with Nipple Rings, surgically welded to their cheeks ... it would look very striking, and be Very Good For The Economy ...

[Aside -
Recently I was enlightened by my Employment Counselor about the concept of "Gov't Funded, Contracted, Youth Empowerment Programs" ...
when I asked WTF is *That* All ABout, she casually said "Oh those are taxpayer funded programs to get kids off the street and into jobs or back to school" ...
and I naiively asked "Why are the kids on the street in the first place?" ...
and again, quite casually, she replied "Because they have no home life ... their parents are working, or don't exist, or don't care, or don't want to see their kids ... everybody is too busy making money these days to look after their kids ...

essentially, as a Canadian Taxpayer, I'm funding some meathead's abdication of responsibility for the products of his/her animalistic, sexual impropriety ...]
~

There are 2 parts that make me nervous about even the Canadian Health Care "system" in terms of Androgynous people, (including those who CD,TG,TS for same/similar reasons) ...

1) is the peril of an "emerging" CD associating with "possibly well meaning", but otherwise perverted and distorted community members ... the "blind leading the blind" ... "citytours by streetkids" ... etc

2) the peril of SIGs (special interest groups) lobbying and brainwashing public and "contracted" Health Care providers into aligning general, and more specific types of support services, more in accordance with the popularly defined and agreed to "needs" (desires) of the SIG, than the "objectively" understood requirements of the actual community in its' diversity ...

by this I mean ie. "I wish my Health Care as an Androgynous person, to be administered by those whose interest is in "Community Health Care", not in "Heath Care for the Gay & Lesbian, TG, and TS Communities" ...
~

Some days I feel like doing my bit to define and fight the War On Ignorance about Androgynous people (including associated CD,TG,&TS people) ...

however, most days now, I become increasingly discouraged by the apparently popular and growing role of "caricaturization" in the CD community ...

and then I just feel like quietly packing my little bag and hopping the next bus out of town (with my banjo on my knee)

~

/Marda