Where are all the SOs?

CJ · Post by CJ » Mon Dec 15, 2003 10:19 am

Hi all,

Oh where, oh where have all the SOs gone?
I miss their banter, I miss their voice,
I miss the input for which I long.

Oh please, oh please, SOs come back!
You made me think, you made me laugh,
You helped me put my heart on track.

Speak, Sharon, Kay, and Curly,
Lefty, Morgan, Ada, Lyn,
Dorothy, Rox, and Cheryl!

Seriously, I haven't seen an SO post for a while. What gives? Are you gentle women all in the kitchen, readying Holiday feasts? Give your hubby an apron, he'll lend a hand, and please come sit with us for a spell.

Love,
CJ

Kay(SO) · Post by **Kay(SO)** » Mon Dec 15, 2003 3:25 pm

CJ,
I'm here at last! It's been busy and no I'm not in the kitchen yet but out shopping and dealing with other family matters. Lots of new things on the horizon with my dear husband and CDing. He's in therapy(again) and is really wanting to make some changes, internally mostly but I suspect they will lead to some minor exterior changes also. He is really working on self-acceptance, guilt, shame and presenting his whole self instead of living a compartmentalized life. It makes him miserable so he's trying to figure out how to present all parts of himself and be happy. We are going to his therapist together on Thursday. I have some things I want to discuss too so it should be interesting. We talk very openly all the time and I've been struggeling lately with trying to explain my feelings at times. He doesn't understand some of my feelings, hell neither do I sometimes. An example would be "jealousy". It makes me feel crazy to feel it but it sometimes sneaks in all the same. Another one is fear. Essentially, I know that I have nothing to be afraid of but it too comes in and it's hard to explain to someone else. I've been spending alot of time on one of my SO only sites but I do love to come here and get input from you all. My husband is going to go off to a place where he can dress (hotel nearby) the day after Christmas and spend a couple of days. I'm okay with it, in fact I encourage it all the time. It doesn't mean that when he mentioned it that I didn't have some confusing feelings about it. I just had to sort them out. I've spent the past year trying to get him to go since we don't have time alone together here due to our kids. He would rather I go with him but I'll be here watching them. Little does he know I bought him a new "backside" as I mentioned before, his human hair wig arrived and I'm getting him a nightie. He'll have those to take with him since he's getting them for Christmas. Anyway, off to do some domestic chores for now. I will post more later... and even when I'm not writing, I do read up on ya'll. I shall return because something has been on my mind and I want input. No time now.

Kay(SO)

CJ · Post by CJ » Mon Dec 15, 2003 4:59 pm

Yay, Kay!

Great of you to drop by.

I understand you're busy--we all are a little bit, I think, given the time of year and all.

When you say your hubby is planning on making some external changes, do you mean with his dressing? If so, I can see how that could be a delicate issue, both because of the kids and because of your unresolved and somewhat ambivalent feelings. I, myself, have been working on decompartmentalizing my own soul over the past fifteen years or so; I've been greatly helped in the task by the love and acceptance of those people I cherish most. Your wanting to participate in some of your husband's therapy sessions is certainly a good step, I think. It provides a safe and mediated context for communicating. Along with love, communication is of the highest importance.

I may have said this already, but it bears repeating: you sound like a wonderful woman, Kay, and, even more importantly, a wonderful person. Your exemplary strength, courage, and love give you much beauty; your husband is a fortunate man. My thoughts will be with you both on Thursday.

If we don't talk before the Holidays, I wish you and your family a very Merry Christmas as well as health, happiness, love, peace, joy, prosperity, and wisdom for the coming year.

Love,
CJ

Curly(SO) · Post by **Curly(SO)** » Tue Dec 16, 2003 6:53 am

Still here,

In fact, I tried to post yesterday to say thanks for the yummy pic of Johnny Depp!

Only problem being, I couldn't log in, had this problem a lot, I write a long post, only to find I cannot submit it...very frustrating.
Won't write any more in case it happens today!

Curly X

Curly(SO) · Post by **Curly(SO)** » Tue Dec 16, 2003 7:15 am

Just like to add...
Yesterday, Ed was at home sick. He put on my pink satin nightie with my pink cashmere cardigan, and it was amazing, no more grouchy hubby refusing to get out of bed...he just got right on with things, washed the dishes up, chatted pleasantly, I'd never have known he was ill, poor love!

Curly(SO)

CJ · Post by CJ » Tue Dec 16, 2003 8:58 am

Yay, Curly!

Sorry to hear Ed's feeling under the weather. You know, Curly, pink is a very healing colour.

Seriously, if you've helped your husband improve his mood (for many CDs, wearing a pink nightie can do that, I guess), you've also helped improve his health. I tell you this as one who daily has to deal with the connection between mind and body. I hope he feels well enough to be up and about during the Holidays. I wish him a speedy recovery.

As for your inability to post anything lengthy, it could have something to do with the forum's timeout factor. I do believe Shannon extended this timeout factor, but I don't know to what extent. Someone here (Alexandra, I think it was) had a good trick to avoid losing her post: as she wrote a response, she occasionally highlighted and copied her text to the clipboard so that, in the event she got timed out, she merely had to paste back what she'd already written into her reply page. This kind of thing often happens to me in Yahoo Mail, so I've adopted that strategy also. Have you asked Shannon or Sharon what they think the problem might be?

Curly, if we don't speak before then, I wish both you and Ed (and all your loved ones) a very Merry Christmas and all the best for the new year!

Love,
CJ

Alexandra · Post by **Alexandra** » Tue Dec 16, 2003 3:28 pm

Curly(SO) wrote:Only problem being, I couldn't log in, had this problem a lot, I write a long post, only to find I cannot submit it...very frustrating.

Hi Curly,

CJ is right about the trick I mentioned . . . as you write your post (and especially before sending it), occasionally highlight it and hit CONTROL-C. This way if a timeout occurs (or you accidently hit the back button or your ISP drops your net connection) you'll still have your work.

(Hit CONTROL-V to paste it back on.)

If somebody writes a lengthly post and doesn't want to post it (yet), or if yor ISP drops the connection, paste it onto an email and send it to yourself. This way it'll be easy to find and use later.

Alexandra · Post by **Alexandra** » Tue Dec 16, 2003 3:34 pm

Shannon/Sharon/Beauty,

Part of Curly's problem with logging in might have to do with the fact that the password is case sensitive . . . the odd thing here is that the FIRST time one uses the password in the wrong case, it won't work, BUT, the SECOND time, using the same wrong case, it'll fly. I tried this several times. Hmm, weird huh? or is set up to be forgiving to the forgetful??!!!