Crossdressers-Haven.com

I have no idea where I'm at anymore. I guess it's partially because of my drinking.

Partially.

It's also because when you say you can interact, you don't ... without very subtle hints.

Sometimes you've brought me to to the edge of heaven. I hope you see I've tried as much.

I love you

Gwen--
I know they talk of "one day at a time" in AA. When battling any kind of compulsion, I sometimes use "I'll do that in ten minutes." If an overwhelming impulse to do something hits me, I'll say:
"No matter how strong this seems, I can wait ten minutes."

"If it still seems like a good idea, I'll do it."

It's amazing how strong the resistance to this is, but even in my worst addictions I have usually been able to do this at least once a day. It's a start. Good luck!

Gwen,

Get help. I think you do know exactly where you are, which is sitting at the bottle of the bottle of alcohol you're consuming.

How do I know? Been there. I quit drinking 17 years ago today and at the time, didn't really care if I lived or died. Was convinced that no one gave a damn about me or my existence (especially me), knew that I was unlovable, stupid, ugly and a loser. At least in my own mind. And the alcohol simply dragged me farther down into the depths of despair.

Get help so that you can see clearly.
Get help so that you can feel clearly.

Get help before it's too late and you miss the opportunity to have a moment of clarity and see where you could be in your life, if only you would let go of the alcohol. Stop hiding in the bottom of that bottle and walk through whatever fears you have. Dare to dream. Dare to live without it. Stopping will open doors that you didn't know were there because your eyes are too bleery to see them.

You sound like you are reaching out for help. I hope that you will heed the advice. Much luck to you,

Kay

Hey Gwen,

Get this and hear me. I can't change your drinking, but I can love you back. If you say you love us then love yourself and pull out of this because you're standing close to a ledge that I can't get to you and pull you back from.

I love everything about you Gwen, so please talk this out with us, but like Kay just said get someone to talk to in real life. It wasn't easy for me to go to a therapist years ago and now again, but it helped. I got to talk things out, to hear myself. Please get help.

I was in a dangerous place and I helped save myself with 12 step CODA meetings (CO-Dependents Anonymous). You can do it, but you have to take the steps.

We all love you. Come on back from the ledge and then get help.

Beauty

Gwen, honey, you will find lots and lots of support from your sisters here!!! We can not hold your hand, however, but what we can do is listen and respond, so when you get the urge, sit down and wrtie to us instead. Some of us seem to be here almost 24/7. As Beauty siad, we are here for you and will do what we can to help you through this. Secondly, do get help from a counselor and or AA.
God Speed and we are here for you, darlin!
Virginia