Crossdressers-Haven.com

Hey girls,

This is my first post in a while I have been doing alot of soul searching... I am finding I am dressing more and more and now started wearing some things out and around the town and local area. feels great nothing major just a pair of womens trousers, a top and a bra etc with a pair of comfortable shoes. I love how it feels and I love how comfortable the clothes are as oposed to mens... yuck... some of those can be really uncomfy and it does not matter what I wear as a woman I feel comfy in it all... anyway i digress....

I have applied for a job, working in an office part time. nothing unusual about that I hear u say. Apart from on my application I put my name down as claire as it is now becomming second nature for certain things as many of u can appreciate. I had been called for an interview and never told my SO as it was early in the morning and did not want to wake her.

I wore a knee length black skirt, blouse, wig which I had borrowed from a costume store on loan for the day. heels and pantyhose I also rented some fake breasts to give me the figure I had always wanted. done my makeup, lipliner, lip gloss, eye shadow, mascara u name it i did it and went to my interview and totally forgot I was male. sat cross legged, used hand gestures. made comments as a woman about blokes, called her hon etc all the things women do..

I GOT THE JOB..!!!!!!!!

my SO does not know and I mentioned it to her that i was thinking of doing this kind of thing she said it was a bad idea she does not like the idea of anyone seeing me this way out in public I am gutted but i really like this job and everyone there who i had lunch with was really friendly.... this could be my way to escape and live partly as a woman while working too and its something i have always wanted to do... is this wrong and does ne1 on here work day to day as a woman if so whats it like and should i not persue this....

please help desperate woman in need of help

thanks
claire

I see some problems lie ahead.

1. You did not discuss the matter with your SO. She is that because you have a special relationship. If you are married, then a very special relationship. Failure to tell her BEFORE your actions was bad enough, failure to tell AFTER is worse. And taking the job is really bad for the relationship. I can easily see her trust being shattered. If you want to keep her you probably have to deny the job.

2. I see this as fantasizing. It sounds great now but what about down the road. What if you are discovered? Probably means firing for the deception. Then you are really outed. Does this bother you? By then your SO may be history also and then you have nothing.

3. You haven't stated clearly if you are a TS. If so, then this may work out since this is ultimately where you want to go. If not a TS but rather a CD, I don't think one should go down this path. Too many problems and not enough benefits as I see it.

4. Better tell your SO as soon as possible before any decision though. She is entitled to some say in the matter.

Good luck.

Ridge

what you are saying ridge, I am not a TS just a cd and although this is a very nice though, I have told her this morning what I have done, she said that it is nice in theory and as long as no one where we live finds out it is fine but the question is do I or dont I even for the fact that I can say I did it...

the reason it is only part time is that I am a personal trainer and martial arts teacher the rest of the time and it was just something for alittle more income and try to fullfill a bigger part of me

thanks
claire

Claire,
As an SO of a CD'r, I can only speak for myself. Your post left me a little confused. Obviously you are getting your needs met by working part time as Claire, your SO doesn't want you to get "caught" but does she mind? If she does, then you need to consider her feelings about it. If not, then I'm not sure what the problem is. I would have a problem with it because I don't want my DH living part time as a woman. That does not include his dressing every month. Living out in the world, with a job, interacting with people in our community, I would mind. But, that's just me. I could hear the excitement in your post about what a "high" it is for you, almost like you're getting away with something and that part would bother me. Just my two cents.

Kay(SO)

Honey, you need to be honest. You also need to respect her feelings. If you want understanding and respect, you alos need to give it.

Dr PHil has a saying, It take to votes for a YES on any matters. But only one vote for a NO. If both parties are not in agreement, then it should be a no go.

Your SO may need more time. Or maybe her insecuriteis arise because of your sneakyness.

This has been something I have explored with my dh, I have always been a part of it and do enjoy being a part of it with him.
That being said, itis till unnerving for me at times.

He would be in a world of manure if he lied to me about any of it.

Good luck, but relantionships have two needs, it is not yours and hers alone, it is the needs of two.

girls

point taken think I am gonna give up the idea as she is not totally comfy with it...

thanks for all the advice

p.s

DR PHIL ROCKS....

Claire
x

You both may just need some time and more talks about it, and everything in your lives in general. Not always easy is it.
Be honest, but respectful, it reallly is the best way to get through this.

Good luck.

I am still trying to find out my wants and needs in this so I am approach DH about my concerns. It is easier for me to be accepting of him, but hard for me to be totally honest of my fears still.

Claire wrote:. . . I am not a TS just a cd and although this is a very nice though, I have told her this morning what I have done, she said that it is nice in theory and as long as no one where we live finds out it is fine but the question is do I or dont I even for the fact that I can say I did it...

the reason it is only part time is that I am a personal trainer and martial arts teacher the rest of the time and it was just something for alittle more income and try to fullfill a bigger part of me

thanks
claire

Congrats on telling your wife!!!

To me, that was the BIGGEST thing. We all do things and ask for forgiveness later.

Ridge did bring up an interesting question though. Do they think you are a female or do they think you a CD'r?

I think what you did is super brave and I'd love to go to work en femme. Of course I'd have to also tell my wife like you did. Be safe, of course, but I think you should go for it!

Beauty

No they genuinly called me claire and have no idea that I am genetically a male even though I am female on the inside they had no idea and it felt great to be treated in the outside world as a woman with not having to be a man....

They had no idea that I was a man and thats why I wanted to do this so much just to work as a woman even if it is 3 days a week.

but beauty i tell u it felt so good to be accepted as a woman the pure thrill and euphoric feeling i got was undescibable

yours
claire

Hi Claire,

I have to be honest, though I'll most likely be stoned by the board.

I think you should keep the job. If you're passing and they think of you as a female AND it's a part time job, what do you really have to lose?

The only thing that's tough is if a friend drops by or something. However, that wouldn't be enough for me to stop going to work.

Beauty

what do u mean if a friend drops by
do u mean if and when i am at work and I come home to my friend here..??

sorry if i seem a bit ditsy....

claire

Hi again,

No I mean if a friend happens to drop by where you work, but you bring up a good point.

What would happen if you're returning from work and you do have a friend stop by and you can't get out of the car.

I would also be concerned if someone who you work with knows someone you know.

It's a sticky web, for sure.

Beauty

Some more thoughts.

It seems to me the "buzz" of working as a woman would quickly wear off. Once it becomes routine, the thrill is gone and you may want to "bolt."

With both jobs appearing to be in the same community, the possibility to running into someone is large. Once you are outed, that's it. Could you continue to work in this community as a man. And you job would be jeopardized - who wants a CD or TS personal trainer?? If you deal with kids as a martial arts instructor, then may as well pack your bags and move - no parents would let their kids near you.

Also, it sounds to me you are more of a TS than maybe you think. You "feel" like a female, you are apparently very passable and you want to work as one. Figure this out first and let it guide you.

But living a double life, especially the type you descrive, can be very difficult and demanding.

Ridge

I thought I had all this figured out I spoke to a friend of mine on here lastnight whom said that it could be good if its what I really wanted but to be carefull.

You bring up a very good point ridge now I feel myself thrown into this turmoil again of not knowing what to do.... Just because I appreciate the beauty in women and want to look like them from time to time and wonder what it would be like to live part time as a woman and experience most things does this mean I could be a TS..??

I think that psychologically like I say I appreciate how beautifull women are not only to look at and how they dress but how they interact with the world too. I dont think there is anything wrong with doing that and by taking this job I would have had more of an insite to how this feels and how it feels to be a part of it even if it is for a short period of time it is something that not everyone in our special circle gets to do.

I thought that I would have gotten at least some support maybe I have worded my thread wrong or something my SO now knows and although she is not totally convinced she supports my decision as it is part time and we dont really need the income although with any extra it is definately a help.

Seems like with all the opinions I have had from this board and although everyones opinion is much appreciated and certainly valued maybe it will be better as a fantasy rather than reality. I love my job as a martial arts instructor and love helping people as a PT would I really want to jeopardise all I have worked for and trained for all these years no I dont believe so....

SO....

Thanks to all who have replied and let me assure you I am not having a go at anyone even if it may have seemed like it during this post all opinions were gratefully received.

AND....

To my one true friend on here whom I was speaking to lastnight I found out chat very enlightening and really made a true and good friend out of it but I dont think I can jeopardise all I have worked for even though I was starting to enjoy the idea.

Dont think I am going to be on for a while as gonna take some time out and go training and try and get this out of my system, feel really stupid now.

Thanks all esp Ridge for pointing me in the right direction.

Peace Yall

TTFN
Craig

Hi Claire,

The fact that you went through with the interview was something that you can remember forever.

Best of luck to you!!!!

I hope you change your mind about not posting for a while though. However, I respect your decison and wish you the absolute bestest!

Beauty