Hello everyone

[Ringo]

Hi everyone !

I registered here so i can find other people like me. I'm also here to find some answers to my questions (which kind of pop up in my mind sometimes) and, why not, answer some questions with the little experience i had.
I'm a 21 years old student in France, i have been crossdressing since my childhood (as far as i can remember, i've always done it). I'm transgender though i don't really understand all the names. I have a Japanese girlfriend who i visit twice a year (i'm planning on living in Japan as soon as i can), she knows about my dressing and is totally fine about it, she even influenced me on going out dressed several time in Japan, which was one of the best thing that happened in my life. However i'm still scared about going out here in France ^^
I also told my bestfriends (2) and a classmate. They are totally fine about it. And finally i told my mother, i don't think she refuse it but she thinks it is her fault, which makes me a little sad. I have difficulties convinving myself to tell my father and my brother but as i bought several clothes and as i'm planning to buy even more, i'm tired to hide. So there it is now, i'm a bit stuck into this dilemma. I hope i can find some answers here, you all look very kind !

Yes this post is veeeeery long and i'm sorry about that (and also about my english)

Thanks you for reading

Ringo

[Davita]

Hi Ringo, welcome to the forum.

Congrats on the bold steps coming out. Ok, so Mom is having a little trouble. You know it's not her fault so keep telling her and for sure tell her how much you love her. If you are not ready to tell Dad, then don't rush it and let Mom help with that. Heck, she might have already told him and also told him to stay quiet for now.

Take it easy. You have done a lot already. Let it al soak in for you, your friends and Mom.

[DonnaT]

Hi Ringo, to the forum.

What reason did your mother give for taking the blame?

Did she dress you up when you were little, and does she think this is why she says it is her fault?

If so, note that there have been lots of mothers dressing there sons in dresses, my youngest brother being one, and it didn't make them transgender. If this were the reason for making someone trans, there would be a lot more girls who would identify as trans, due to their being dressed in jeans.

Regardless, try to convince her that all evidence shows that we are born this way. Likely due to how our brains reacted to hormones received while in the womb. Thus, there is nothing she could have done to prevent it.

[Martha G]

Oh hi there!

Welcome!

[Anthony Simon]

Welcome, Ringo.

There's a big CDing tradition in Japan. It's doubtful your mother made you into a CD, but that could be awfully difficult to convince her of.

[Ringo]

Hi everyone ! Thanks you all for your replies !
Well, when i was about 6 or 7 she had to go study in another city cause she had a bad job and she wanted to be a nurse, so she was often not there. She said that during this time i needed feminity and i filled it with crossdressing. I don't agree with that, she thinks that i don't like crossdressing and that makes my life harder. But i am a bit stuck because even if i told her, it makes uncomfortable talking about it with her, i don't know why. It happened with my friends too, i feared they'd never see me as before but now it's over.

She never dressed me as girl when i was younger, neither did she wanted a girl instead of a boy.
I tried to tell her that this not her fault, but i don't really know if it worked well.

Do you think she told my Dad ? i don't know about that ^^ His behavior didn't changed, maybe he doesn't know. But if it was the case i would like him to tell me, that would makes things much more easier !

Yes i'm trying to take a little pause, it took nearly all of my energy ^^

Anthony : Yes, that's awesome ! This is the only country where i went out in drag, i felt so much better after that ! I bought all my clothes there

[Anthony Simon]

Hi everyone ! Thanks you all for your replies !
Well, when i was about 6 or 7 she had to go study in another city cause she had a bad job and she wanted to be a nurse, so she was often not there. She said that during this time i needed feminity and i filled it with crossdressing.

I get that - I've always noticed that separations bring out the female in me. But note the way I've phrased that, "bring out the female in me". It's true that a child still needs his mother at 6 or 7, but I think it's kind of unfair to think that what she did caused to become something you were not. It might have pushed you that way a bit, but not caused it IMHO.

Anthony : Yes, that's awesome ! This is the only country where i went out in drag, i felt so much better after that ! I bought all my clothes there

I have a thing about Japan too. But I've never been - I envy you. Sounds a very nice experience.

[Requal Jo]

Hi Ringo and welcome to this friendly Haven. You will be able to have all your questions answered by the experienced and supportive group of wonderful persons at this address.

[SilverLady(SO)]

Hi, Ringo, and welcome to the Haven!


- SL

[Martina Hall]

Welcome, Ringo!