Hi

[Kim D.]

Thought maybe I should start here. My name is Kim, been dresssing all my life. My late wife "tolerated" Kim but it was made very obvious she wasn't supportive. She passed away 18 months ago after 36 years of marriage. I am just now starting to spread my wings and enjoy Kim and explore the world as a woman. Hope I didn't bore you with this.

[Anthony Simon]

Welcome, Kim.

[SilverLady(SO)]

Hi, Kim, and welcome to the Forum!


- SL

[Paula G]

HI, and Kim, our sisters never bore us, I am sure that I speak for all when I say feel free to share as much as you want to. 36 years is a long time to be together, I am sure you must miss your wife badly, feel free to ask anything of us, if we can help you come to terms with your new life.

[Carly]

Welcome Kim,
I've been married 39 yrs myself. i know how you must miss her. We can be there to talk to/

[DonnaT]

Hi Kim, to the forum.

[Kimberly Kael]

From one Kim to another: welcome!

[Kim D.]

I want to thank all of you for the warm welcome ad words of encouragement. It has been tough since the wifepassed away but thanks to some counseling as well as having Kim to occupy some of my free time I am working through al of this. I have yet to come out to my daughter and any friends, any thoughts on how to do it?

[DeniseL]

Hi Kim

Welcome to the room so good to see new faces.
I have only been out now for about 3 years but have had the desire for probably at least 20 years.
Good luck and all the best



Denise

[Leeza]

Hi, Kim, and to our home on the internet.

You wrote

I have yet to come out to my daughter and any friends, any thoughts on how to do it?

There are a number of posts on that subject in the Coping for CDs area.

Leeza

[Kimberly Kael]

I have yet to come out to my daughter and any friends, any thoughts on how to do it?

I've never seen an easy answer to this one. You'll doubtless read lots anecdotes around here, ranging from heartwarming to horrifying, and I suspect it has less to do with how you come out and more to do with who you come out to. Not that there aren't better and worse ways to go about it, mind you, just that reactions tend to be firmly based on the recipient's upbringing and prior exposure to the subject. The two suggestions that seem pretty common and well-founded are (a) avoid committing yourself until you've had some exploratory conversations around the subject using people in the news, like Chaz Bono or the discussion of transgender athletes in a recent Sports Illustrated, and (b) take it very, very slowly. "Baby steps" would be the phrase used around here most often surrounding this subject.

Political affiliation, religion, and generational norms all play into people's reactions so those can be useful cues but keep in mind that they're only broad-brush generalizations. People who tend to be open-minded and thoughtful can still have blind spots, and those with a very strict set of morals can still be surprisingly compassionate. Close relationships (spouse, child, parent) tend to make the conversation a lot trickier for a variety of reasons. Just keep in mind that your daughter has much more invested in who she thinks you are than your friends do. She defines herself, at least in part, as your daughter. So this revelation reshapes her world in ways that would likely be uncomfortable at first.

... so I guess the summary would be "proceed with caution." Being open and honest about who you are can be a tremendous relief, but you should have some idea of what it might cost you before proceeding.

[Paulette]

Yes, proceed with caution, but do proceed if you continue to feel that's necessary.

There is no set way of doing things, so read as many of the posts here as you can stand that tell of others' experiences. You'll find your way.