Most of the time I would return the items.. sometimes I would hang onto them. More than a few times, my mom would raid my room and find the things i had..She would never say anything about them, just take them. So, I'm pretty sure she has an idea that I CD..
The last 5 years, it has gone from what use to be a sexual feeling, to be more of a just being complete type of feeling. I love to get dressed up, even if it is just for a few minutes.
I have only told one person that I CD. ( I will get to that.)
I have always had to keep it hidden, keep my clothes stashed away. After I got out of school and moved out on my own, I started buying my own clothes, online of course, I was too afraid to buy in person.
Now, I live with my girlfriend and my little boy, have to keep everything hidden, she does not know, and would freak out if she did know. My parents went on vacation for a week, so I decided to grab some things and go dress up at their house. I was all dressed up, nice outfit, heels, wig, no makeup though. I was downstairs, and herd a car pulling in the driveway. My heart sank. I took off my shoes and ran upstairs to the guest room and shut the door.Turns out was my younger sister, came up to feed the cat and fish( maybe around11 or midnight). She saw my truck, I wasnt downstairs or out in the garage, and began to look for me. After about 15 minutes of her calling my name through the house, calling my name outside, and my cell of course( it was on silent).. she got worried and began checking the whole house. I had the door locked and my hand holding the knob.. still dressed.
She came to the guest room and grabbed the handle.. locked, but my parents kept the little keys that came with the knobs in a safe place.. she got one, unlocked the door. To her surprise, there I was.. leggings, waist cincher, tight top, stuffed bra and wig..I took off the wig and tried to hide behind the door. as I began to tell her..
"I need to tell you something, but you have to promise you wont tell anyone, until I am ready for them to find out." She looked really confused.. I told her " Im not gay or anything like that.. But I wear ...womens clothes." she just gave me an "oh".. Not like a disgusted oh.. just like an understanding one.. she told me she wouldnt tell anyone, and just began to ask me things about it. Like how long I have been doing it.. Why I do it.
She gave me a hug while I was still mostly dressed up. She told me that she didnt care How I looked on the outside, She would still think the same of me inside and all that she cared about was me being happy. I actually started crying a little.
I told her to go downstairs and I would get changed back to my male clothes and we could talk if she wanted.. About 5 minutes later I go downstairs and talk to her.. She was very understanding. for once I could be open to someone about this..It was nice. That was pretty much the end of that part.
We both left, I went home, my girlfriend wasnt home. I started texting my sister. Telling her how thankful I was that she didnt freak out. As the texting continued i opened up more to her. and she was very receptive.. just asking me questions, to make sure she understood why I do what I do. As we continued, we started joking a little..I told her I wish I had more of a feminine figure instead of mine. (I'm 5'11 220 lbs. no butt, love handles.. haha) She told me I could have her hips and butt. She asked how I gave myself breasts, I told her. i usually wore 2 bras, first one was used for stuffing, top one was for shape and hold things still. But I also told her I wish I had breasts and a feminine figure. I told her I found breast forms.. but couldn't have them shipped them to my house because of my GF. she said i could have them sent to her house
So, later that day I ordered my first breastforms, and a few new clothes.. also a corset.
I asked her if she had any idea if our mom or sisters knew.. she doesnt think our other sisters know, and that the same with mom. I told her I think mom knows something is up, because of the clothes she would find in my room growing up.. I asked for her opinion on telling mom, how she would react. She didnt know.
