New Member scared but here anyway

[JessieR]

My name is Jessica Renee. I prefer Jessie though. I honestly don't know if I'm in the right place. But then, I don't know where I belong. I'm scared to death to even be here let alone sharing but its eating me up holding this secret insde. The hurt is greater than the fear. So, here it goes. I am genetically male however I see myself more feminine in many aspects of my mental and emotional being. The question of attire is do I wear feminine or masculine clothes. Answer: Yes.

I feel so much more relaxed, comfortable and at peace with the world around me when I wear dresses, skirts and yes, panties and more. Its as if I've slipped into a whole new person yet its still me. My feelings, thoughts, wants and desires don't change. The way I talk and act is the same except I'm so much more relaxed at ease with circumstances.

I am here in hopes of find a friend or two who understand me and accept me without... I don't know, judging. Its funny how we can be in a room full of people, even look like we're having a good time, yet feel so alone in the world as if there wasn't a sole for thousands of miles. I would give nearly anything to be wearing a comfy skirt and blouse and enjoy an afternoon with a couple of friends watching movies, eating junk food, playing games and just share a little life together.

My life is about the adventure and the adventure is life. The experience of the adventure is pointless without someone to share it with. There is a huge part of my life that is pointless because I have no one to share it with. This part of me isn't sexual like everyone I know would say. Sex isn't the life style. Its part of the adventure which I share with someone I love very deeply. They however will not share have anything to do with this part of me. I'm just looking for a friend or friends who with whom I can be totally completely me.

Not much of an introduction. I haven't shared this part of my life with anyone in years so I don't know what to say. So if I am in the wrong place, please just let me know. I will move on and not hold any bad feelings with anyone. But if by chance I'm in the right place, I hope I can be a friend who encourages, comforts and speaks the truth but in a loving way so we all can learn and grow.

JessieR

[Karin]

Hiya Jessie!
to the forum, It's lovely to meet you!

Aww, youre in the right place sweetie , What youve described is more common than youd think. Theres lots of good people here who can relate to this, and the chatroom is a great place too!.. Welcome!

[MariMar]

Hi JessieR

Welcome I am a new member but learning from all the other girls....

[Anita]

Hi Jesse--
Welcome to the forum. That's a heart-felt introduction, and I'm not surprised that you're scared. Dealing with this subject on any level can be scary. The first time I went to a store to buy my first (ever!) item of women's clothing, I was 49 years old, and I had to smoke two cigarettes outside the store before I could get my nerve up to go in.* And this was a CD specialty boutique--it wasn't like they were going to be shocked by me being there.

I'm sure you'll be able to find some friends on here. You're among people who share the experiences you're describing in your post.

*[ I've long since quit cigarettes, thank goodness!]

[Anthony Simon]

Welcome, Jessie. A sense of peace - or anyway a lessening of stress - is a part of CDing for a lot of people here (and elsewhere).

[CharLee]

-wel-Jessie,

Your story is so much like many of us here so just relax, loosen up your girdle, and pull up a seat and enjoy yourself while you visit. You didn't mention how old you are, or how long you have been CDing, or if you are single or married, if you have kids or if your family knows but in any event we have all been in your shoes at one time or another.

Join us in the chat room some time to get to meet the girls and ask any questions you might have that we can help you with.

[Martina H.]

Hi Jessie You have come to the right place, so have a look around and a good read of the forum posts here and you will soon feel at home with us all. If you have any questions just ask someone here will have an answer for you.

[Paula G]

, no need to be scared, you are in the right place

[SilverLady(SO)]

Hi, Jessie, and welcome to the forum!


- SL

[JessieR]

Thank you all for the heart warming welcome. Like anything new it takes time to settle in and become comfortable. Its a little difficult for me to be... I'm not schizophrenic with some multiple personality disorder, but I'm two very different persons. There is the genetic male, Jessie's big brother and protector. And Jessie.

Let me introduce big brother. He is 50 years old. Birthday was April 22. He is marries to his high school sweetheart and they have two awesome kids. Both are grown now but still living at home. Rough economy you know. He is disable which of course so is Jessie. Permanent nerve damage in the lower spine. Long story for another time.

Jessie is a very interesting girl. She in many ways is still sort of childish though she is 50 years old. You see I was raised as both Jessica and her genetic male half. Its a long bittersweet story... Anyway. So I've been CDing latterly all my life.

This is really different for me and I've only done this with my psychologist but I will try to speak as Jessie from now on. Dr. T, my psychologist, said when I am online here I should let Jessie open up and speak. Did I say I'm not schizophrenic? Honest. Dr. T says this is how I've handled life by keeping Jessie and Jeff separated in public. Its better Jessie sort of takes the lead here as Dr. T believes this will help me deal with life now.

Thank you again for the warm welcome. Thank you for... Thank you. Does anyone else have trouble getting your thoughts out, keeping your emotions in check and still loose it and cry and you have no idea why? Thank you for welcoming me.

JessieR

[Sandy K.]

[Nicole Rose]

JessieR I'm a new member also and i have chatted with lots of very friendly and understanding girls here. You should feel like you belong we all have so much in common. My crossdressing has made me a better person inside and out. Engoy dressing cause we can't change it. Nicole

[Latanya]

welcome jessie
and i think u have found the right place
like u i am male but feel more relaxed and more me when i wear fem stuff
i call it my integrated mode enough male clothing to disguise my fem clothing

[Leeza]

Hi Jessie,

[Robin H]

Hi Jessie you are deffenitely in the right place, I recently joined and have been dealing with coming to embrace my dressing so explore and enjoy everyone here is very friendly and supportive and helpful. I think you will find this out for yourself and feel more at ease and hopefully get some answers. Glad you joined and hopefully will have the opertunity to chat with you