Crossdressers-Haven.com

Oh well... So I decided to join out of pure curiosity and maybe as a way to integrate what I've been discovering about myself.
First of all, I'm 26 years old, a recent psych major graduate from Chile (so bare with me if my english fails every now and then). I've been happily dating a great girl for 2 and a half years now, of which she's known about my crossdressing from early in the relationship.

I've crossdressd since I was 12 or so, or actually just liking the feeling of girl panties against my skin. But I started experimenting crossdressing as such when I was 14 or so. From then on, it was all about guilt, and fear of being discovered. It actually stayed as such for a long time, doing it behind a few gf's backs, or considering it a major problem. I think I even took psychology as an unconscious reason to understand what was it that drove me to do it. I've been through therapy a few times, I even went through EMDR to try to get rid of it a few years ago, even if my therapist told me she found nothing wrong in it (which I agree). Fast forward some more time and here I am, considering crossdressing as a hobby which I practise privately (since my girlfriend bares with it, but doesn't really accepts it (Kinda an "out of sight, out of mind" thing).
I've told about my crossdressing to a few friends, mostly girls, and they've been okay with it, not even freaked out. I've also told about it to my two previous girlfriends who didn't take it too good at that moment (I had a more negative view about it though). I'm still walking the thin line between fun and guilt, and being truth to myself and lying to others. I think I could probably say more, but thoughts and words get tangled so I hope you catch my drift.

I must say that I never thought of a female alias until now, and it actually makes me somewhat uneasy (albeit in a fun way). This could probably be about my crossdressing being mostly physical than "psychological". Anyway, I'm here to read, lurk and get to know about others and myself through interacting with the community.

Anyway, thanks for your time! see y'all around

Hi Elisa,
to the forum, It's lovely to meet you!

Well... your 'female alias' that you picked just now? She sure does have a pretty name!

Hi, Elisa, and welcome to the forum!


- SL

Thank you Karin, and SilverLady for your welcome! And yes, it is a pretty name indeed.

Elisa,
my dear friend and a huge hug for you .
I believe sweetheart you fight the problem to much just let yourself go and enjoy your fem side.

Like you I startyed very young but I have never looked back and my loveing wife of 49 1/2 years has been with me all the way.

Life is great enjoy it and your feelings.

Welcome, Elisa.

I'm using a male name partly because it would feel like "she's" a more solid entity if I used a female one (I have one, Eleanor).

My feeling exactly. I thought about using a male name but in the end I just decided to join the "club", for fun mainly. In my case, cross dressing is but a mere accessory of my personality (even if it's deeply rooted in me). Just like I dress like a "soldier" during the weekends, I like dressing up as a girl from time to time. I'd just love that society would be more comprehensive...

The fact that I fight it so much isn't about myself not accepting it, but mostly regarding my girlfriend. I've gone really slow in the matter, I actually stopped altogether for 8 months or so. A few months ago I told her, that instead of "letting her down" everytime I "fell", I should have her permission instead. After a few discussions and tears, she somewhat reluctantly agreed...

There's more to it, really, but there are lots of subjects to be discussed lol, and a lot of threads about them as well I guess!

Thanks again for the welcoming everyone!


*** Post edited to remove redundant quote, as per: http://crossdressers-haven.com/forums/v ... 65&t=10059" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; - SL

Welcome to the forum, Elisa, you should find this a good place to get things off your mind, and you will soon find that you are far from alone.
Now the bad news: Your SO may someday 'change' her mind, and be very much against this little hobby of ours. If you become open about it, she may feel embarrassed, and/or realize that straight-laced society in general considers us horrible perverts. When I was your age, decades ago, I hid it (mostly) except for Halloween, of course, which was such a delight for me that I said to myself, and Martina, 'what the hey, this is too much fun for just once a year.'
Since that time, I have found other occasions to dress and go out in public, telling myself that this is a good way to separate friends from phonies. In most cases, the 'friends' who distanced themselves from me were folks I could do without anyway.
So... welcome!

Martina Hall wrote:Welcome to the forum, Elisa, you should find this a good place to get things off your mind, and you will soon find that you are far from alone.
Now the bad news: Your SO may someday 'change' her mind, and be very much against this little hobby of ours. If you become open about it, she may feel embarrassed, and/or realize that straight-laced society in general considers us horrible perverts. When I was your age, decades ago, I hid it (mostly) except for Halloween, of course, which was such a delight for me that I said to myself, and Martina, 'what the hey, this is too much fun for just once a year.'
Since that time, I have found other occasions to dress and go out in public, telling myself that this is a good way to separate friends from phonies. In most cases, the 'friends' who distanced themselves from me were folks I could do without anyway.
So... welcome!

Thank you!

I don't think she'll be against... but might not be able to handle it. I AM doing (and not doing when it matters), everything I can for us to work out. Hopefully I'll someday be able to let free my "Elisa" side.

Anyway, thanks again for all your welcome messages. I've been on the chat today for a while and it's been great

Welcome Elisa

Hi Elisa, to the forum.

Hi Elisa,
Karin was right it is a really pretty name, most of the members here have shared your experiences at one time or another so let your self go while on the forum and enjoy the chat and friendship that is freely available.
to our community, and make the most of it
Love and kisses
Joanne xxxxx

Hi Elisa. to the forum great to have some girls from south America, lots of us all over the planet. we all have so much in common looking forward to chatting in the future, I also think your name is cute,

Welcome, sweetheart. You chose a beautiful femme name. And don't worry about the language thing. In fact, whenever I hear a Spanish..ooo! I shiver

Dé la bienvenida al bebé, usted es hermoso

I hope I said that right!

Elisa wrote:

Martina Hall wrote:Welcome to the forum, Elisa, you should find this a good place to get things off your mind, and you will soon find that you are far from alone....Now the bad news: Your SO may someday 'change' her mind, and be very much against this little hobby of ours. If you become open about it, she may feel embarrassed, and/or realize that straight-laced society in general considers us horrible perverts......So... welcome!

As a one time college psych minor, now with a lifetime of people experience, I share the welcome. And also the caution.

If you think about it, this site has a spectrum drawn to it of the "others" in society. If we were outright gay or even transexual, we would have more support from society, in the States at least. I'm not sure that is true with cross dressers.

Frankly, I don't even like the term. It suggests an action not an identity. I will never even try to get my wife into what I do and think on this topic. My step daughter would be "creeped out to the max", or something like that. We are who we are. How society views us should not change that. Be true to yourself.

You have a friendly place here and the moderators (a big part of it) seem nice. Good luck in your journey. Stateside t.v. has a beer commercial with the tag line, "stay thirsty, my friend." It would be better used for knowledge. When you know it all and have seen it all, what's left?

Huggs, robbin