Crossdressers-Haven.com

Julie wrote: what has been harder is that I have been rejected by other crossdresser groups because I am not "pure" enough. I am comfortable in both male and female clothing, and I have facial hair. I have been told that I thus violate the "purity of the ideal of feminity" to which crossdressers are supposed to aspire

Welcome Julie! You've come to the right place. You'll find CDs and TGs in all flavors here, in fact, I believe there are members here who share your exact same views. I'll let them introduce themselves.

As for "purity of the ideal of feminity" thing, I wouldn't worry about it as it sounds like the kind of thing many of us wouldn't want to be part of anyway. You should only be what YOU want to be, not what others think you ought to be.

Welcome and good luck!

Hi Julie,

Welcome aboard! One shared ideal you'll find here, as Alexandra suggested, is the importance of being who you are. Hope you enjoy the forum and let us know a bit about yourself.

Love,
CJ

Julie wrote:what has been harder is that I have been rejected by other crossdresser groups because I am not "pure" enough.

Well, my response to that can't be posted here, either. :evil:

Welcome, and I hope you find this a much more accepting environment.

Hugs.

Hi Julie and Welcome.

As to what the support group people said, well, there are snobs in every social group, and I suspect you found your share. However, it is also possible their reaction was self-preservation. If you were crossdressed partially or with facial hair, they may have feared being seen with you would have endangered them, or at the very least "outed" even the most passable of them. But that's being very charitable of me, considering I don't know any of them. I was just thinking of alternative interpretations of their behavior. The same attitude is seen sometimes with TSs where passability is usually paramount to their acceptance to the society at large.

Anyhoo, Welcome. You're in good company.

Hi Julie,

Barbie's are cool.

Great to have you here!

Lefty

Hi Julie and a very big ,
I don't know or understand what "pure" is. Gee just because a girl has a little hair so what. I believe you will find all the girls here very friendly and likeable. Carol Ann

Hi Julie,

Welcome aboard!

Those who told you, you're not pure enough need to get a grip. That's ridiculous. If you wanted to transitition to womanhood I could see how they'd want to help you out, but to just be a CD? That's kind of nuts, I think.

I also think you'll like it here.


Beauty

Hi Julie--
Welcome to this forum! I have a friend from our support group who feels as you do. He wears skirts, hose, and heels, but from the waist up he's dressed male, with full mustache. I've told him that I admire his courage, because he rides public transit to come to meetings. He's a very friendly and outgoing guy, so he talks to people who want to know more about what he's doing.

I do know that some of the transitioned women in the group do not want to be seen with him at all, and although that's sad, it's understandable. As a group, there are always some of us who go to a local cafe after the meetings. I know if I'm with my friend, I'll be "read" all night long, but it doesn't bother me in a group setting like that.

I'm kind of surprised that your group does not support your decision to dress as you feel. I think I'd look for an alternative one.
A

Hello and to the forum I hope that you like it here.

Stephanie Higgins

Welcome Julie. I am one of the members that feel as you do. While I don't have a full beard I do have a goatee which I refuse to shave off. Nor do I try to be a female. I am happy to be male. I hope you enjoy your stay here.

Hey Girl,
Welcome! If you can't tell from what's been posted, let me assure you: You are accepted as you are.
Be who you want to be, not what others want you to be.
It's a simple statement, yet sometimes difficult to achieve. We all want acceptance on some level, and I know how easy it is to give in to peer pressure. (I've been doing that most of my life )
There's a lot of very good information on this board, and lots of great people too. Honest!
So relax, and enjoy yourself. Don't sweat the simple stuff.

Talk atcha soon,
Kyra

I have no long welcoming speech, so I'll just hope you'll like it here.

Hi Julie! Hey, I happen to be one that thinks or feels that if a CD is presenting as a woman then from head to toe she should do all she can to look and dress as best she can to be a woman. However, I also belive and feel that if you want to be accepted and present yourself as a man in womens clothes then that is perfectly OK as well.

I belong to Tri-Ess and they have rules about not sporting facial hair when presenting as a woman. I happen to think this is a bunch of cow flop and think such rules or by laws make what could be a great organization not so great. However, I do remain a member and whenever the issue come up or if there is ever a vote on it I will be in the lets get rid of such rules powder room. My continued membership of late is mostly because of all the girl friends both CD and GG that I have made over the years. For the real CD support I need I come here.

I stand by my bi line below my name. Again, welcome and I am glad you did not give up looking for the right place to come. HERE!

Hi Julie, and to the friendliest forum in the world It`s great to have you here

Hugzzz,
Geena