Stephanie Higgins, Beauty, Leftyrainbow and Others,
Beauty, thank you for entering this. I have wanted to tell you, that somehow
I thought you were living the perfect Barbie doll life. Your replies to me
and others, show you are human and struggle with the rest of us. With
all you do here and your easy attitude you seemed to be super woman.
Thanks for sharing the intimate feelings, situations and beliefs in your
life.
Stephanie, when I read the poems I felt like I lost a soul mate. I, like you,
am greatly upset. I have learned these feelings are ok though. I have
had thoughts like hers most of my life. Through continuing therapy, I am
learning to accept who I am. I am not deeply evil as society and my
parents earlier in my life tried to make me believe. Because I was
isolated, I easily believed the maxim that if one thinks everyone else is
wrong, more than likely it is you who is wrong. It turns out I wasn't evil or
nuts. I was only listening to the wrong people. A child is in no
position to dispute terrible things that parents put on that child.
I also learned a truth this last year that seems so obvious. I am an
individual. I can't know others experiences when my only reference
is what I feel and know. After 50 years, one person in my whole life
was able to convey that she understood, in part, my feelings and my
experiences through her own. She saved my life by convincing me to go
into therapy and believed in me to be better. No one before was able to
show me and give me belief in myself. Not even my wife, who loves me
dearly, could do that for me.
My point is that, it is the height of ignorance for me or any of us to go on
judging others. Condemning them, for things for which we have no way of
relating by our limited life experience, is wrong. There is evil and it is
real. Evil was not her motivation for death. I know by her poems. The
poems are my experience and hers.
Leftyrainbow, that a school would condemn one for not group showering
shows what my feelings are. To torture a young one over such an issue
shows me where the line for evil is drawn. What possible good could such
actions by a school administration do. It seems to me that a lot of
different avenues could have been explored without the condemnation
and resultant ridicule. The results of these actions could have caused
major self esteem problems added to the already self respect issues
I'm sure this indiviual already had.
What a wonderful world it could be if more of all peoples would practice
more understanding and forgiveness, even to forgive themselves.
I shouldn't, but I feel sorry that I felt compelled to write this. I'm not sure
why.
Your friend,
Kersten --------
PS I appologize to Beauty for entering anothers name and also to Biss
if I affended her. My brain slipped as I am quite taken by these poems.
What I wrote Beauty I meant, thank you again.
Rest In Peace sweet Tesia. 
I can't believe that she was so like me but yet took her own life 
