No Caroline it's not my work but I collect it.
______________________________________
Kids Advise
Never trust a dog to watch your food.
-Patrick, 10
When your dad is mad and asks you,
Do I look stupid? Don't answer him.
-Michael, 12
Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick.
-Lauren, 9
When you get a bad grade in school, show
it to your mom when she's on the phone.
-Alyesha, 13
Never tell your mom her diet's not working.
-Nathaniel, 10
Don't squat with your spurs on.
-Jason, 9
Don't pull dad's finger when he tells you to.
-Emily, 10
When your mom is mad at your dad,
don't let her brush your hair.
-Kimberly, 11
Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time.
-Lyle, 9
Never try to baptize a cat.
-Elaine, 11
Fun Facts.
Moderator: KimberlyS
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Loretta Ann
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Virginia
- Goddess of the Universe
- Posts: 5543
- Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2004 4:06 pm
- Location: Strange Magic Hill
OK Sis - GREAT STUFF!!
If a synchronized swimmer drowns - do the others have to drown too?
If you are pasta and antipasta would you still be hungry?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
for Lorna: Why is it than when we bounce a check, the bank charges us more of what they already know we don't have any of?
When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
If a synchronized swimmer drowns - do the others have to drown too?
If you are pasta and antipasta would you still be hungry?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
for Lorna: Why is it than when we bounce a check, the bank charges us more of what they already know we don't have any of?
When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
First star to the right, then straight on 'till mornin!
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Virginia
- Goddess of the Universe
- Posts: 5543
- Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2004 4:06 pm
- Location: Strange Magic Hill
Just a couple more:
Why is it that no word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple?
If the singular of GEESE is GOOSE, shouldn't a Portuguese person be called a Portugoose?
Why isn't eleven pronounced onety one?
Why don't tomb, comb and bomb sound alike?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
Why are wise men and wise guys opposites?
If people from Poland are called Poles, why are not people from Holland called Holes?
Are people more violent toward fur than leather, because its easier to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs?
"I am" is reported to be the shortest sentence in the English language, could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
Why is it that no word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple?
If the singular of GEESE is GOOSE, shouldn't a Portuguese person be called a Portugoose?
Why isn't eleven pronounced onety one?
Why don't tomb, comb and bomb sound alike?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
Why are wise men and wise guys opposites?
If people from Poland are called Poles, why are not people from Holland called Holes?
Are people more violent toward fur than leather, because its easier to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs?
"I am" is reported to be the shortest sentence in the English language, could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
First star to the right, then straight on 'till mornin!
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Gaven McLaren
- Miss Golden Goddess
- Posts: 697
- Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2003 2:29 am
- Location: San Ramon, CA
- Contact:
Deborah
Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
While I know that it is a rhetorical question I have an answer that makes sense.
I am sure you have heard of and done a technical tap. Basicly hit a piece of equpment that is not working. Well you whacked it. So if it is still not working then it is out of whack.
Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
While I know that it is a rhetorical question I have an answer that makes sense.
I am sure you have heard of and done a technical tap. Basicly hit a piece of equpment that is not working. Well you whacked it. So if it is still not working then it is out of whack.
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons. As you are crunchy and good with chocolate!
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Loretta Ann
- Permanently Banned
- Posts: 2199
- Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2004 11:30 pm
- Location: Vancouver, Canada
From a womans perspective
BEHIND EVERY
SUCCESSFUL WOMAN
IS HERSELF
A WOMAN IS LIKE A TEA BAG...
YOU DON'T KNOW HOW STRONG
SHE IS UNTIL YOU PUT HER
IN HOT WATER
I HAVE YET TO HEAR A MAN
ASK FOR ADVICE ON HOW
TO COMBINE MARRIAGE
AND A CAREER
COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN.
SOME THINGS ARE JUST
BETTER RICH
I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN
And I HAVE A GUN
WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE
AND I KNOW HOW
TO USE IT
OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY...
I DID IT RIGHT
THE FIRST TIME
DO NOT START WITH ME.
YOU WILL NOT WIN
ALL STRESSED OUT
AND NO ONE
TO CHOKE
IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED,
SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN
BEHIND EVERY
SUCCESSFUL WOMAN
IS HERSELF
A WOMAN IS LIKE A TEA BAG...
YOU DON'T KNOW HOW STRONG
SHE IS UNTIL YOU PUT HER
IN HOT WATER
I HAVE YET TO HEAR A MAN
ASK FOR ADVICE ON HOW
TO COMBINE MARRIAGE
AND A CAREER
COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN.
SOME THINGS ARE JUST
BETTER RICH
I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN
And I HAVE A GUN
WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE
AND I KNOW HOW
TO USE IT
OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY...
I DID IT RIGHT
THE FIRST TIME
DO NOT START WITH ME.
YOU WILL NOT WIN
ALL STRESSED OUT
AND NO ONE
TO CHOKE
IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED,
SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN
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Loretta Ann
- Permanently Banned
- Posts: 2199
- Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2004 11:30 pm
- Location: Vancouver, Canada
-
Virginia
- Goddess of the Universe
- Posts: 5543
- Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2004 4:06 pm
- Location: Strange Magic Hill
-
Loretta Ann
- Permanently Banned
- Posts: 2199
- Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2004 11:30 pm
- Location: Vancouver, Canada
I had a 30 mile drive home from the bingo game.
It was raining and I decided to take "90," a back road home
rather than the expressway as having trucks pass at 70 mph in a
heavy rain didn't seem sensible.
No lights were on in the small towns I passed. The rain got
heavier and heavier, small limbs were falling and finally the
rain was like being under the ocean. I couldn't stop as the
only thing I could see was the yellow dividing line on the 90
and I had no idea if I'd end up in a ditch if I attempted to
pull off. Had the radio been on, I might have heard that a
tornado was heading down 90 and everyone was to seek shelter
immediately.
Terry, the head of the volunteer fire department in one small
town was at the building about 40 yards from the 90. He saw the
lights of my car (the only lights in the town) and knew I was in
trouble.
He came out and got in front of me and led me for about 5 miles
until the road was once again passable. While he was doing
this, the tornado hit the building he had been in.
It was raining and I decided to take "90," a back road home
rather than the expressway as having trucks pass at 70 mph in a
heavy rain didn't seem sensible.
No lights were on in the small towns I passed. The rain got
heavier and heavier, small limbs were falling and finally the
rain was like being under the ocean. I couldn't stop as the
only thing I could see was the yellow dividing line on the 90
and I had no idea if I'd end up in a ditch if I attempted to
pull off. Had the radio been on, I might have heard that a
tornado was heading down 90 and everyone was to seek shelter
immediately.
Terry, the head of the volunteer fire department in one small
town was at the building about 40 yards from the 90. He saw the
lights of my car (the only lights in the town) and knew I was in
trouble.
He came out and got in front of me and led me for about 5 miles
until the road was once again passable. While he was doing
this, the tornado hit the building he had been in.
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Virginia
- Goddess of the Universe
- Posts: 5543
- Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2004 4:06 pm
- Location: Strange Magic Hill
Hey Sis,
There was no lead in to your story? Can I assume that that just happened recently?? Are you one lucky girl! So is your friend. When did this happen? I hate to admit it but I was not aware that they had tornados up there, but then again, Minnesota has quite a few so I guess it stands to reason. I am just glad you are all right. Now, did you win at the Bingo game? did the storm muss your make-up? I got all kinds of questions, but now just glad you are all right!!
Love ya,
Deborah
There was no lead in to your story? Can I assume that that just happened recently?? Are you one lucky girl! So is your friend. When did this happen? I hate to admit it but I was not aware that they had tornados up there, but then again, Minnesota has quite a few so I guess it stands to reason. I am just glad you are all right. Now, did you win at the Bingo game? did the storm muss your make-up? I got all kinds of questions, but now just glad you are all right!!
Love ya,
Deborah
First star to the right, then straight on 'till mornin!
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Loretta Ann
- Permanently Banned
- Posts: 2199
- Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2004 11:30 pm
- Location: Vancouver, Canada
Hi Sis.
You are right we don't have tornadoes where I live, Although I was raised in a part of Canada where certain trees would be up routed during some storms, but we did not know they were called tornadoes until I moved to BC.
During the last year or two there was a tornado in Alberta Canada that wiped out a resort by some lake, killing many and destroying a lot of RVs etc.
That story came to me in an Email from the States and I passed it on. A lot of this kind of stuff that I post is not mine, but is passed on from people who send to me. From all over the world.
Sorry Sis. for any confusion I may of caused.
You are right we don't have tornadoes where I live, Although I was raised in a part of Canada where certain trees would be up routed during some storms, but we did not know they were called tornadoes until I moved to BC.
During the last year or two there was a tornado in Alberta Canada that wiped out a resort by some lake, killing many and destroying a lot of RVs etc.
That story came to me in an Email from the States and I passed it on. A lot of this kind of stuff that I post is not mine, but is passed on from people who send to me. From all over the world.
Sorry Sis. for any confusion I may of caused.
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Loretta Ann
- Permanently Banned
- Posts: 2199
- Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2004 11:30 pm
- Location: Vancouver, Canada
The Philosopher
===============
I saw him sitting in his door,
Trembling as old men do;
His house was old; his barn was old,
And yet his eyes seemed new.
His eyes had seen three times my years
And kept a twinkle still,
Though they had looked at birth and death
And three graves on a hill.
"I will sit down with you," I said,
"And you will make me wise;
Tell me how you have kept the joy
Still burning in your eyes."
Then like an old-time orator
Impressively he rose;
"I make the most of all that comes,
The least of all that goes."
The jingling rhythm of his words
Echoes as old songs do,
Yet this had kept his eyes alight
Till he was ninety-two.
===============
I saw him sitting in his door,
Trembling as old men do;
His house was old; his barn was old,
And yet his eyes seemed new.
His eyes had seen three times my years
And kept a twinkle still,
Though they had looked at birth and death
And three graves on a hill.
"I will sit down with you," I said,
"And you will make me wise;
Tell me how you have kept the joy
Still burning in your eyes."
Then like an old-time orator
Impressively he rose;
"I make the most of all that comes,
The least of all that goes."
The jingling rhythm of his words
Echoes as old songs do,
Yet this had kept his eyes alight
Till he was ninety-two.
Sounds like the old man is a bit of a Stoic. Or a Taoist. 
-
Loretta Ann
- Permanently Banned
- Posts: 2199
- Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2004 11:30 pm
- Location: Vancouver, Canada
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Loretta Ann
- Permanently Banned
- Posts: 2199
- Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2004 11:30 pm
- Location: Vancouver, Canada
Say What?
=========
21 Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was
time to present the present.
A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
=========
21 Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was
time to present the present.
A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?