A drunken man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway next to a priest.
The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. The priest took all this in and felt very self righteous against the man.
The man opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, 'Say Father, what causes arthritis?'
The priest replies, 'My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes, and lack of a bath.'
The drunk raised he eyebrows and muttered in response, 'Well, I'll be darned!' – then returned to his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. 'I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?'
The drunk answered, 'I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does.'
MORAL: Make sure you understand the question before offering the judgement.
Some people-----!
Moderator: KimberlyS
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Carolynn
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Some people-----!
"It’s not given to anyone to have no regrets; only to decide, through the choices we make, which regrets we’ll have,"
David Weber – In Fury Born
David Weber – In Fury Born
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Carolynn
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"How many time that happens - uh! I plead guilty too!!! "
Uhhhh, Virginia, you and others also often think the pope drinks too much, is with too many wanton women, and entirely too hedonistic?
Sorry, I couldn't resist!!!!!
Love, Carolynn
Uhhhh, Virginia, you and others also often think the pope drinks too much, is with too many wanton women, and entirely too hedonistic?
Sorry, I couldn't resist!!!!!Love, Carolynn
"It’s not given to anyone to have no regrets; only to decide, through the choices we make, which regrets we’ll have,"
David Weber – In Fury Born
David Weber – In Fury Born
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Virginia
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Heard this one?
The Pope flew into Dulles International to meet with the new president.
The limo pulled up in front of the Airport. It was white and at least two blocks long. The Pope is totally thrilled at the site of this huge limo. The driver opens the back door for His Holiness but the Pope hesitates, then places his arm around the driver and quietly talks to him for a while. The driver, with a big smile on his face, hands the keys to the Pope and climbs into the back seat. The Pope goes around to the front, drivers side, slides behind the wheel, cranks the beast up and lays rubber out of the airport. Now the Dulles access road is some 25 miles from Washington and as soon as they clear the airport the limo is up to 130 MPH. Suddenly blue lights are flashing everywhere as the Va. highway patrol attempt to coral this wayward limo. When it finally stops the irritated trooper walks up to the driver side and asks for the license of the driver, looks at the Pope behind the wheel, turns a bit pale and walks back to his cruiser and calls headquarters. "Just stopped a limo on the Dulles Access doing 130 mph, need some help?" The sergeant asks "Why do you need help?" Well replies the trooper, "I don't know who is in the back seat -- but he has the Pope for a chauffeur!"
Now that's scary!
Virginia
The Pope flew into Dulles International to meet with the new president.
The limo pulled up in front of the Airport. It was white and at least two blocks long. The Pope is totally thrilled at the site of this huge limo. The driver opens the back door for His Holiness but the Pope hesitates, then places his arm around the driver and quietly talks to him for a while. The driver, with a big smile on his face, hands the keys to the Pope and climbs into the back seat. The Pope goes around to the front, drivers side, slides behind the wheel, cranks the beast up and lays rubber out of the airport. Now the Dulles access road is some 25 miles from Washington and as soon as they clear the airport the limo is up to 130 MPH. Suddenly blue lights are flashing everywhere as the Va. highway patrol attempt to coral this wayward limo. When it finally stops the irritated trooper walks up to the driver side and asks for the license of the driver, looks at the Pope behind the wheel, turns a bit pale and walks back to his cruiser and calls headquarters. "Just stopped a limo on the Dulles Access doing 130 mph, need some help?" The sergeant asks "Why do you need help?" Well replies the trooper, "I don't know who is in the back seat -- but he has the Pope for a chauffeur!"
Now that's scary!
Virginia
First star to the right, then straight on 'till mornin!
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Carolynn
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yeah, that would give one pause!!!