Things I Owe My Parents
Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 9:57 pm
Things I Owe My Parents
1. My parents taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE - "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside; I just finished cleaning."
2. My parents taught me RELIGION - "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My parents taught me about TIME TRAVEL - "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My parents taught me LOGIC - "Because I said so, that's why."
5. My parents taught me MORE LOGIC - "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My parents taught me FORESIGHT - "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My parents taught me IRONY - "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My parents taught me about the science of OSMOSIS - "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My parents taught me about CONTORTIONISM - "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My parents taught me about STAMINA - "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My parents taught me about WEATHER - "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My parents taught me about HYPOCRISY - "If I told you once, I've told you a million times: 'Don't exaggerate!'"
13. My parents taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE - "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My parents ptaught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION - "Stop acting like your father!"
15. My parents taught me about ENVY - "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My parents taught me about ANTICIPATION - "Just wait until we get home."
17. My parents taught me about RECEIVING - "You are going to get it when your father gets home!"
18. My parents taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE - "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."
19. My parents taught me ESP - "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My parents taught me HUMOR - "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My parents taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT - "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My parents taught me GENETICS - "You're just like your father."
23. My parents taught me about my ROOTS - "Shut that door behind you. Do you think we live in a barn?"
24. My parents taught me WISDOM - "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
And my favorite:
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
25. My parents taught me about JUSTICE - "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you."
- SL
1. My parents taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE - "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside; I just finished cleaning."
2. My parents taught me RELIGION - "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My parents taught me about TIME TRAVEL - "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My parents taught me LOGIC - "Because I said so, that's why."
5. My parents taught me MORE LOGIC - "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My parents taught me FORESIGHT - "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My parents taught me IRONY - "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My parents taught me about the science of OSMOSIS - "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My parents taught me about CONTORTIONISM - "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My parents taught me about STAMINA - "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My parents taught me about WEATHER - "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My parents taught me about HYPOCRISY - "If I told you once, I've told you a million times: 'Don't exaggerate!'"
13. My parents taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE - "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My parents ptaught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION - "Stop acting like your father!"
15. My parents taught me about ENVY - "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My parents taught me about ANTICIPATION - "Just wait until we get home."
17. My parents taught me about RECEIVING - "You are going to get it when your father gets home!"
18. My parents taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE - "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."
19. My parents taught me ESP - "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My parents taught me HUMOR - "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My parents taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT - "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My parents taught me GENETICS - "You're just like your father."
23. My parents taught me about my ROOTS - "Shut that door behind you. Do you think we live in a barn?"
24. My parents taught me WISDOM - "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
And my favorite:
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
25. My parents taught me about JUSTICE - "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you."
- SL