One Liners
Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2005 10:54 am
ONE LINERS
I had amnesia once - maybe twice.
All I ask is a chance to prove money can't make me happy.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
They told me I was gullible .... and I believed them.
Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
One nice thing about egotists ... they don't talk about other people.
Two can live as cheaply as one - for half as long.
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows
up, he'll never be able to edge his car onto a freeway.
When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to
look like a nail.
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
Photons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
The high cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
How can there be self-help "groups"?
Is there another word for synonym?
The speed of time is one second per second.
Is it possible to be totally partial?
Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?
Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a
man who can't get his pants off.
It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.
Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
I had amnesia once - maybe twice.
All I ask is a chance to prove money can't make me happy.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
They told me I was gullible .... and I believed them.
Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
One nice thing about egotists ... they don't talk about other people.
Two can live as cheaply as one - for half as long.
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows
up, he'll never be able to edge his car onto a freeway.
When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to
look like a nail.
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
Photons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
The high cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
How can there be self-help "groups"?
Is there another word for synonym?
The speed of time is one second per second.
Is it possible to be totally partial?
Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?
Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a
man who can't get his pants off.
It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.
Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
