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Ok Carolynn, you asked for it....here's another one if you can stand it.


Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death. They are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden...

"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I ees sure of eet".

"Si, Luis, eet smells like bacon to meee".

So, with renewed strength, they struggle off up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree, just loaded with bacon. There's raw bacon, dripping with moisture, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon...every imaginable kind of cured pig meat you can imagine!!

"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Eees a bacon tree".

"Luis, are you sure ees not a meerage? We ees in the desert, don't forget".

"Pepe, when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell of bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree".

And with that...Luis races towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe following closely behind, when all of a sudden, a machine gun opens up,and Luis is cut down is his tracks. It is clear he is mortally wounded but, true friend that he is, he manages to warn Pepe with his dying breath.

"Pepe...go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree"

"Luis, Luis mi amigo...what ees eet?"

"Pepe... eet ees not a bacon tree....



wait for it...........






Run for your life Pepe, eet ees a HAMBUSH.

OOOOOHHHHHH NO! I just had to ask for another didn't I.

There was an ancient one from the days of my unspent youth---kinda shaggy dog-----

Before he became a television hero of the '50s, the Cisco Kid was the scourge of the law, and they were constantly searching for him. One day a posse met Pancho riding a little burrito.

"Hey, you," says the sheriff, "Do you know the Cisco Kid?"

Pancho draws himself up and says "Senor Sheriff!!! Do I know the Cisco Kid? Only today I am riding this little burrito, when out from behind the rock is the Cisco Kid!!!!. 'He say, hey hombre, stop and put up your hands'! What could I do, he had the gun. I did that. Then he say, 'get off the burrito.' I did that, he had the gun. Then he say, 'give me all your money'. Ay yi, what could I do Senor Sherriff, I gave him my two pesos.

"Cisco Kid not too happy with just two pesos. About the time I think he shoot me, the Little Burrito do what little Burritos always do and make piles on the ground. Cisco, he look at the piles, then at me, and smile nasty and say 'Hay hombre, eat!!!' What could I do. He had the gun. I eat."

"I am nearly finished and the Little Burrito do what little burrito nearly never do, and he kick the gun from Cisco's hand. I lands by me and I grab. Now I have the gun. Then Little Burrito again make piles, and I grin at Cisco, and say "Hey, hombre, your turn". What could he do, I have the gun. He eat".

"So Senor Sherrif, do I know the Cisco Kid? Claro!!!"

"We had breakfast together this morning."