Crossdressers-Haven.com

I've been a browser for a while. My frustration has been A) figuring out the right size & B) How to Mix & Match. I don't have any wardrobe per say, and until I get past these frustrations, I won't.

Size has been the big issue lately. Is it XL, L, 14, 18, 1X, 2X. (Gee I wish it was M, but then that is wishing for you). I have browsed a couple of times a month at a near by 'GW botique' but haven't purchased anything because I wasn't sure about the size. Watching women, they seem to be able to eye ball a piece and have a pretty good idea of what would fit and what wouldn't. I'm sure that there are misses, but they have a life time of experience that lends to the their self confidence in the decision.

Realizing that I'm lacking the experience, I set out to gain some this morning. I was passing a neo-modern department store. You know the kind that centers a strip mall and has everything from auto-parts to apparel to electronics to groceries to office supplies and everything in between. They open around 7 and I went in around 7:30.

Not much action going on in the women's clothing section, not even a clerk present. I proceeded to browse. At some point I decided to try some of this stuff on. So I did.

Selected about 10 items, skirts, tops, pants of various sizes, and proceeded to the changing room. Nervous, not really. Hesitant, yes. I paused as an elderly lady passed through on her way to the shoe sections. I knew that I was being captured by a surveillance system, but didn't care.

The next 20 minuets were fun. More importantly, educational. My first real world experience. I kinda sorta know what to look for in a piece. Shoulder width, length of shoulder to waist, how what in 2 dimension (on a hanger) translates to 3 dimension when placed around the waist. Sleeveless doesn't work, too much deltoid. Gosh there is hair growing there? Some (ahem) shape ware in hips would be a good thing. The importance of a good tuck. Oh, and did I mention that it was fun?

Alas, it is the dawn of the door buster time of year; today was probably the calm before the storm. I won't find a quiet, secluded clothing department again until mid January. Oh, well....

Yep it was a baby step. But that is how we roll, baby steps. I was one of my first steps and it seemed like a giant leap. Oh, and did I mention it was fun.

Love,
Kelly

Congrats!

If you want to try things on during the busy season, check with a clerk. The easy thing to do is ask if there is a limit and playing ignorant, does she have to unlock the booth/room. If she takes you back or shows you in, then you will be fine. The other choice is where the store has a unisex dressing room area. I forget the last store I was in like that. I think it was a mass clearing house where the stuff has since been taken from the outlets to them. For us USA girls, I'm talking Marshalls, Ross, etc.

Speaking of those store types, if you are shopping for a classic, does it matter if it's last year or even the year before? A good fitting classic skirt is timeless.

Lastly, if you can't make it to the derssing room, just confirm the return policy and buy the same outfit in a couple sizes and return the rest. Another help is to take a tape measure with you. No matter what size the outfit claims to be your inch will be the same inch for every outfit. You take your measurement sith you and your tape measure. This will get you close to the size and the final fit at the store or home will tell you. The more you shop the more you learn who fits you and how.

Have more fun! Own the store and have confidence. It opens dressing room doors for you.

Kelly, did you purchase anything from your trip? Which dressing room did you use the men's or women's? Congrats that is a step in the right direction.

Hugs,

Erica

I went to Goodwill yesterday and while I was looking at some dresses a woman was near me and asked me who I was buying clothes for and I answered they were for myself. She said "well there is nothing wrong with that", I said "well I didn't think so". We continued to look at dresses side by side just chatting about sizes and stuff. I picked out about 10 dresses to try on, so I rang for the attendant to open the dressing room. Tried them all on and only 3 looked ok, 1 was real good. So I bought the real good one. I never have a problem trying on things. I go about the store and look at what I want to, I hold dresses and skirts up to myself to see how it might look and to check the length. I've had people "look" at me, I don't care, mind your on business.

most fun I ever had is I ask the lady at the dressing rooms where are the men's changing rooms I could try on cloths. She said "just go get what you need and I will open one", so being funny I ask what if I bring a dress to try on. Hell I don't care these is both men and women.

I short all you have to do is ASK.

I have found that when I shop in the women's department I just pick out what I want to try on and walk to the men's dressing rooms and try it on. What ever I decide is for me I take to the check out and it works great. My wife usually goes with me and we have fun (me anyway) picking out blouses and slacks for me to try on.

Hi Kelly,

We all had that problem in the beginning. The first place I really bought some things for me was at Wal Mart
as they have a good return policy. Just show them the receipt. Finding skirts that fit was not to difficult, Finding dresses was a bit more challenging. My shoulders force me wear size 20-22 or 1X but I only need a size 8-10 depending on who
makes them. Different manufactures sizes very even if they say they are the same size. The hardest thing was finding panties that fit well.

Dress barn and Lane Bryant, or Katherine's, seem to be fairly friendly places to shop, and I think most of the SAs use to
us coming in to buy clothes.

One thing you can do to help find your size is go to a clothing web site, ost of them offer a size chart showing inches in
relation to size, 10, 12 14, etc.
I now shop enfemme and have no trouble trying things on, I just check with the SA before going into the dressing room.

Enjoy shopping and good luck finding some nice things.

No, I did not purchase anything. As I mentioned, my goal was to calibrate my sense of what might fit and what doesn't. Also it was very much a spur of the moment move, kind of a if not now, when move. I had been spooked a couple of weeks ago when I ran into a neighbor coming out of good will just as I was going in. Had to get past that scare or I would have never taken the plunge.

Yes, I conceptually know that the SA don't care and other shoppers are too focused on their own agenda to even notice. I think I need a couple of more successes while the cost is clear before I start letting a SA direct me. Putting the theory into practice is another matter. I'll get there.

I like the idea of keeping a tape measure on hand as a learning aid.

Kelly

The other thing that is helpful to remember is that most of the SA's actually like to help you find clothes that look nice and fit you. It really is a much different world than shopping as a guy where one is expected just to go dig through the stuff and figure it out for yourself.
Much has been made about them just being interested in a sale but that's really only part of it. I find that most of them like clothes, they like looking nice, and they like helping other people look nice and they want to do it. It might be weird to think of it like you're doing them a favor by letting them help you, but seriously they would much rather do that than to stand around watching you fumble along.
I used to feel a little guilty about asking them to get me different sizes to try or, to try on 25 different things before finally finding something I liked. But I find that they do take a personal interest in helping you find that one thing which makes you happy. It's sort of obvious that they would when you think about it, otherwise they would be working somewhere else.
Just stop acting like a man and ask for help