Crossdressers-Haven.com

Moving into the normal everyday of women's wear is more difficult and I am feeling my way along and observing and trying to figure out what is going to work for my body. Purchased two Signature boot cut jeans by Levi...em...well you learn women ok...I was right on the waist in purchasing a size 10 as my size 12 shorts are loose, I also know that I should not lose any more weight below 160 I would just look anorexic. I noticed some wrinkled skin on my belly...age, but when I stand straight and just relax it goes away, still it could be the weight loss (kinda gross but skin is only so elastic and if stretched as when we are way overweight...when we lose back down you may find there may be wrinkles and if you are very unlucky sagging flaps and stretch marks - I am very glad I do not have any of that!!)...in the past 2+ years I have lost 55.5 lbs at 164 this is within my correct weight range of 160-164 bordering on a large frame but not in that large frame range luckily). There is a limit, I mean you can only weigh what you weigh and being at your weight with a male body does not change the fact that you have a male body, being fit is good and dresses and skirts, and slacks and shorts all look better hanging on a body that is at it's proper weight and that is fit but being gender challenged we have to find feminine clothing that will help us to look prettier, curvier and more feminine. So I have these jeans and now realize .... I also need some that are straight leg. Boot cut can look ok with the right shoes, with boots or booties or with heels, quite feminine in fact with high heeled sandals or I suppose with high heeled feminine boots for the cooler weather.

Finding the right kind of belt to accent the outfit can be helpful but belts are not mandatory if you observe women and the models in various clothing magazines.

The next challenge is what to wear with the jeans... a pretty sweater and a shiny necklace would look very pretty accenting that I do look good in darker colors olive, dark drab greens I like. Of course some kind of a long sleeved turtleneck or tee I like aqua...Layering or a short feminine jacket to wear over the turtleneck, tee, or shell or even the sweater would look nice.

Yeah spent money for some plaid blouses/ shirts to wear with the jeans...were a waste in a way oh I suppose for cooler weather with a bracelet and watch and a necklace hum... very casual I suppose but not my best look.

There are some things on National. suppose I can check other sites.

Dresses, skirts and tops are relatively easy to look pretty in but women today save those for certain occasions and tend toward slacks, jeans and shorts of various length...this will take study and thought to figure out what is going to work for me and give me a figure, could mean layering a cami or a shell under a jacket or open blouse or shirt would give the illusion of wider hips? Hum perhaps a jacket with some flair at the hips would help? I have the thin waist down...the forms help the upper torso...It is a challenge but it is not impossible for guys like us to look feminine and pretty like the girls.

Anne dear,

You can always do as I do and wear them around the house as everyday wear.

Hi,

Maybe a bit different for myself . i.m not sure of your weight or if its lb,s I,ll take it as is ,

I,m 154 lb,s or 11 1/2 stone height is 5 ,9 so for myself I,m quite good , though I don't wear pants or slacks only one pair for being on parade with our Band and if I don't have to wear them I wont . i.ll go with my long black skirt as its more fitting or works well when im playing as I was on wensday night at our Waitaki Girl,s high school end of year prize giving, our Youth Orchestra, ,it was lovely and rather emotional as well as 6 of our band members were sited and did very well ,so going to miss them as they will be leaving .there were over 300 attended so was a packed hall

of cause I wore one of my blouse, and my white head wear . so when im on stage I wear my most suitable clothes for the evening . sorry no photos as I was not able to do photos only of the band before the night ,

...noeleena...

It is great to be out and leading the band...or working with the band, participating and out and about. As I say...In the states it is more common to see women in pants, shorts, or athleisure wear probably 80% of the time and probably 90% of the time at home except in the summer but even then it is shorts, capris and etc....

When I am feeling feminine as my gender is fluid I want to fit in not stick out. I was stationed near St Louis in Belleville Illinois and remember seeing one of our community about 70 years old wearing a red very feminine dress into a discount store ... she stuck out like a sore thumb! Now I suppose for some in our community drawing that attention is something they very much desire who knows, so she was wearing that, it was her choice... so good for her! But I would not wish to be the center of attention because I do not fit in with all the other women ... suppose that is why women have a herd instinct (I have heard this before) on fashion and clothing...a pressure in work settings and in other places to fit in and not be out of step? Hence they fit within current trends and in a certain range of fashion.

I do wear jeans and shorts at home and just need to work at it so that as a younger gender fluid person says I can "rock it" (Seadresa on youtube who's name is Grace...a 20y/o gender fluid asian in New Zealand who has a bi girlfriend).

The difficult part is to give the illusion of broader hips which is a key to looking pretty and feminine and not like a guy in girls clothes...with shoulders that border on being large frame and hips that are tiny and thin that is very difficult...I have to purchase an XL top or blouse while my hips fit into size 10 slacks!!! It is a challenge. but that means If I want to wear a nice sweater...I will probably need to layer with a waist coat that can be worn open and that flairs at the hips...although it could be a sweater would work?? but I purchased some blouses and with my narrow hips they fall like a huge tent around me...I think that can be overcome with the right kind of belt as an accent piece something pretty and feminine and some can have a pretty shiny buckle?? or something so that the blouse is drawn in at the waist but still allowed to fall loosely over the hips to give the illusion...It's a very real challenge but one that can be mastered and I will!

The top is easy, I have a bra and forms for that... but I do not go for wearing pillow panties...though I do have some panties that have a little padding made for women they are called bootie panties because sometimes we need a little bootie! Ha! I don't need a little I need a lot of bootie!!!!

Hi,

yes body shape , i never had that problem so most clothes i wear are pretty good and look nice on myself and dare i say allways more how women are shaped with in my age range yet even over the years going back to the 60,s i was shaped well , though i know many men who would not be much different than i even in our photos of the 60,s some were or did look more in line with young girls .

And some of the girls looked more like boys so depends , and i keeped fit as so never had weight issues ,and nore do i now ,

I take your point of women fitting in as far as clothes are concerned yet today hmmm ...

Myself i never did or will and yes i stand out, what i do of cause does not allow for that , look at it this way out of over 2000 people im involved with my dress code is different cant help that the groups because of what we do is more in keeping with the times we reinact or bands uniforms ,

I would say the only time i would have was with in our Navy still drumcore or school uniform , then i would have passed as being the same .

Gee how would i go as an office worker , oh dear me . some how i would still stand out no matter what i wore tough thats life for this kid , ...Okay then heres a ? .

smarty pants that i am , try this , just say i came over your way and as i got off the Air NZ plane , would i stand out , yeap , i,d be dressed in Renaissance garb, so how many others would do that ,

I dare say you would not ...He He .....

now if i went to our country of Germany same clothes no body would be surprised they would think oh whats on an Octoberfest or a music show of some sort , you see in context im not out of place or standing out as different im well with in my style of garb -clothes and is normal for me ,

and around us here how im seen is how people expect to see me because they know what i do , now strangers yer maybe maybe not because we do have our Victorian week coming up with in a short time so its expected , and i can dress for that as well if i go ,

Im just so fortunate i have a feminine body shape not 100 % yet i.v allways been happy how i am ,

...noeleena...

Yeah...I see, You wear whatever you like where ever.... nothing wrong with that. Nonconformist. An Individual not concerned with what others may or may not think. That's fine. We are all different.

I am just trying to look nice. Today I spent more money...a couple of wide belts one in black with silver buckle and one a woven brown leather with a gold buckle with two tassles hanging off of it with gold tips, each about 3" wide...Oh and two watches gold bangly type that are easy to read one with a brown strap the other with a forrest green strap that looks black to match the belts. I tried them with the two blouses/shirts I had purchased to go with the jeans as my sitter said I needed a belt.

The effect with a white shell under the shirts left open at the collars then drawn in on the midriff allowed the tail of the shirts to blouse over my hips so that with the jeans and my 38C breast forms in I was indeed transformed it was perfect! producing an hour glass shape that was quite feminizing for me it was wonderful. So now I know what to do when I wear slacks and Jeans to look feminine...it's thrilling.

I am not dressed today....my gender is over on the male side and I am watching American Football...See ya later Noleena...

Thought there was no way I could make those Plaid shirts one black and white, the other Green and black work for me but the belt did the trick, I was feeling down about them thinking I had wasted my money...with the belts and my forms in they look just amazing...I am really happy and pleased with what I have accomplished and with what I have learned!!! hehehehahahah!!! Yeah!!!

Anne, the jeans dilemma every woman faces. How do they look on me? Do they make my butt look big? What should I wear with them? Even which from the vast array should we get? The trick is to find a style that fits your particular shape and stick with them. I have a couple of pairs of Levis but I find the Gloria Vanderbilt Amanda line is the best for my body and height. Part of the beauty of jeans is exactly your dilemma. You can dress them up with heels or boots and a nice top or just pull on your Nikes and a t-shirt and they are perfect for around the house or running to the grocery store. The trick is to figure what type of look you want for the day and go from there. Play with different looks and accessories such as a belt, jewelry, a scarf, or even a blazer if you are trying to dress them up a little. It won't take you long to find your style. Its funny that women fret over how to dress up jeans yet if it were a denim skirt they just do it on autopilot. There is no difference girls!

As for dress slacks and shorts and the like, again it is no different. We wear them for comfort, style and a change of pace. Just think of what your day ahead is full of and go accordingly. I, as well as many other women, dress up our outfit a lot more if we are going to be in public than if it is a day of dusting, vacuuming, and doing laundry. On those days the extreme of my jewelry is a simple pair of stud earrings and my watch. If I am going to be out and about then I generally add a bracelet or two and a necklace at the least.

I'm glad you seem to have passed the "lace and heels" syndrome a lot of girls are into. Granted many of them only get to dress occasionally so dolling up is almost a necessity to them. While that is great everyday life is a lot different. Around the house to most of us women means relaxing and comfy clothes. Enjoy your jeans and have fun with them!

Thanks...I recently ordered an Olive half zip front cable knit sweater from National...the cool part of our year is very short but the Ladies tee's worn under these warmer things are fine tops when the weather is warmer...our cold season is a series of weather fronts but January and February are COLD!

Oh! this morning I ordered a pair of Clarks Women's Evianna Cozy Mary Jane shoes in brown to go with my jeans. they are casual allowing you to be more active with a rubber sole made to grip. Leather....expensive yeah...and I do need to cool it but had been looking and brown leather casual Mary Janes were on my list...Now I definitely do need to stop for a while. Perhaps in January or in the spring I will shop for some strappy high heels just a 3" because I am 5'9.5" tall! and with them some straight leg jeans, but by summer it will be shorts...perhaps some that are longer over the 4.5" length...need to get real at 58 pushing 59...gee perhaps capri's when I hit 60 like all the other ladies... It is all part of living this part of myself openly and freely. No more suppression for this gurl! Anne Well much less of it.

Anne, you talk about heels and watching how they are because of your height. I am 5'8" and generally wear heels when I dress up, in my younger days 4" was the norm but nowadays 3" is my usual choice. I have even dated guys where I towered over them in my 4" heels and big hair, think the 1980's . Both my husbands were tall, the first one 6'3" and the second 6'5". When I would wear flats with my second husband I used to tease him he made me feel petite, think a 6' guy with a 5'3" woman after all that is the same 9" difference in height.

So you can see height is relative. Sure 5'9 1/2" is tall for an average woman but so is 5'8"! Wear what is appropriate and what you like. The trick to not standing out is not how tall you stand but what you do and how you carry it.

Huh. Thanks. Well I had kind of settled on 3" for my "high" heels shorter than that and you have old lady heels on really...But I know women worry about being on stilts and wanting to be the same height or shorter than their partner. Hey there is one hospice nurse who would always tower over me...wonder if she would go for a gender fluid guy? nah... oh well. I have some 4" size 11 strappy heels I purchased at a mall and still remember the look on the guy's face and noticing how he quickly went over to the women SA's as I was walking away...with my heel and high heeled sandals. but I found I really wear a size 12C and am glad I have it right cause I always had problems getting into those strappy sandals.

Anne Bonny wrote:Hey there is one hospice nurse who would always tower over me...wonder if she would go for a gender fluid guy? nah... oh well.

One never knows unless one asks.

As for the stilts you speak of I had a few of those in my younger days, some pushing 5". Again having a taller husband as I did I didn't look out of place as long as they were close by. The taller the heel the more it stretches the calf muscle and after a while can become painful. As one that wore heels, generally 3 to 3 1/2", on a very regular basis back then when I was working I didn't find them too bad but believe me I could tell the difference on my calves and the balls of my feet after an evening out especially if we were dancing. Many of those skyscraper heels of today have a platform so they are not as tall a heel on your feet as you think. Still a 5" heel regardless of how thick the platform under your feet adds 5" to your height!

As for the incident with the male SA's reaction to your purchasing the sandals with the heels, well as my brother says "F*** 'em if they can't take a joke." If he has an issue with what you buy with your own money he needs to look for another line of work. With the well documented issues facing brick and mortar stores they should not only offer you a warm, friendly atmosphere to shop in but do everything within their power to assure your return business.

Thumb up! ... I now have new high heeled pumps the others were battered I threw them out. the Strappy high heel sandals need to go too though I never wore them as much...and I do opt for more sensable shoes ....flats or a court shoe but in shorts and jeans the ballet flats, asics running shoes, or the casual brown leather mary janes when they come...hope they fit the ballet flats are a 12M and so are the MJ's so hopefully. Yeah It took a huge effort on my part to go in and purchase those in a mall shoe store, and I also still have nerves in like a shoe sale...or other similar place because women's shoes are all on one side of the store and there is no hiding, everyone knows but I am gender fluid so I need to get over it, problem is size 12's in attractive shoes are much easier to locate online as stores do not stock very much in sizes that are outliers---Oh dog barking the mail man just left them at the door and they fit! yea! Nice.

You are right about there probably being a larger selection of size 12's online than in a store. Personally I wear a size 10 and 30 years ago that was considered the extreme of a woman's shoe size. Last time I was in a DSW I saw size 11's everywhere as well as a lot of size 12's and the one pair of boots I ended up buying had a size 13 in the pile. I have always laughed I had gunboats for feet, guess I had better rethink that. Invest in good shoes, especially those you wear day in and day out. Not only do they last longer but they are far more comfortable and easier on your feet.