Crossdressers-Haven.com

My wife and I are having "the conversation" about my dressing. We have been married for 30 years and recently I have been more and more out and about with my feminine attire. She's never said anything about it, (even though our clothes are all washed and folded together, both drab and femme). THe other day while we were on vacation, she asked me out of the blue if I wanted a sex change. Well, needless to say, that started a conversation which is still "unfolding" .

Does anyone have any good suggested reading/ blogs, etc. that you can recommend. I got her "my husband wears my clothes" for her kindle, but she hasn't tackled that yet
thanks
felicity

Try "Head over heels"
Try this survey of the book >>
http://quod.lib.umich.edu/m/mfr/4919087 ... w=fulltext" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Also
She's not there - a life in two genders by Jenifer Boylan

Two good reads

Diane

Hi, Felicity -

Well, she could always join the forum - as an '(SO)' - and that way she could be in contact with other SOs for 'first-hand' conversations (whether by PM or in our private GG-only section), and she could also get input from other CDs . . . even if it's just by reading through all the topics.

She should also check out Tri-Ess as they have a section just for SOs as well as some pretty good articles.

Another good read: My Husband Betty by Jennifer Boylan. The Boylans also have a forum but I have never been impressed with it, a lot of bashing going on over there and it just turned me off (same goes for the 'competition' known as Crossdressers (dot) com ).


Good Luck!!


- SL

Felicity

I'm with SilverLady on this. If the better half hasn't read the one book yet, throwing bunches more at her will just be that much more overwhelming I think. In addition, the books are a snapshot in time and topic. Conversing is good; it's now and totally relevant.

Did the better half ask for reading material? If she wants to hunt things down, I would recommend going not to Google or other search engines, but going to the book seller sites directly and searching for topics there. She can read the synopses and decide if that's going to help her with what she wants to know. She can also ask if it "fits" you and, again, you have more discussion.

Keep the conversation open as best you can.

Thank you all for your suggestions. This is going to be an interesting journey. I am excited, hopeful and scared. I guess that's "Living"

Dear Felicity,
How do we respond, you haven't answered the question. Do you wish, or desire a sex change? She seems very accepting of your female dressing, sharing laundry and all. That's something that few CD's can say.
You can read all the books you want, your wife wants to know if she still has a husband in her life. Can you be content with dressing femme now and then, with your wife's approval, or chuck it all away to live female 24/7 ?

Eileen

Deep down, I don't think I want a sex change. I want to be as femme as I can, but I don't feel the need, ability or desire to have a sex change. Am I just fooling myself?

That, my dear Felicity, may be all your wife needs to hear. From early childhood we all have had fantasies of being different than our born selves. Or mimicking sports figures like baseball players or skaters. A male portraying a female on occasion is not far from those same fantasies.
I can only speak from my own perspective. If my husband feels the need to shave his legs, arms, and chest so he can appear feminine, that's ok, as long as he can be male in appearance and performance when needed. Which is most of the time. Altering his body by surgery or hormones is a deal breaker. My needs are to be married to a man, a functional male.
Assuming he's totally honest, this works for both of us. Male and female, sometimes two females. When I accompany 'her' on outings, it's just a fun time for me, not fulfilling an emotional need.

Eileen

I'll toot my own horn...cautiously

I wrote this last year, and I think it puts the idea out we don't all want sex changes, just the luxury of enjoying life on the other side as a sort of 'vacation'?

http://www.amazon.com/The-Beginning-Hop ... ng+of+hope" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Good luck and tell your Dear Wife, she's a gem!

I don't know how long you're wife has known about about your dressing Felicity, but I take it it's been some time, so I was just wondering why she would bring up the sex change thing out of the blue after 30 years married, and what is her attitude towards it if ever you went down that course.

As long as my hubby doesn't want to alter his body either by surgery or medication then I don't foresee any great problems eventuating, but who knows what's ahead of any of us.

As a woman, I can say it's the differences between men and women which is the attraction, in that opposites attract and likes repel. Sometimes when in a quieter moment I reflect on what's transpired and what the future may hold, it's the picture in my mind of my hubby in a dress which narrows the gap between the differences, if you get what I mean, that mental picture draws a diagram in my mind which makes me uneasy, it blurs the attractions which makes my man who he's always been to me.

Although I'm uneasy with what he does, I would never do or say anything which would embarrass him or belittle him, he's a mature man and I don't have the right to tell him not to do what he does, as long as it isn't illegal or damaging to our family, it's ok, I'm just hoping that now I know he'll be happier and more content in himself, and not having to carry the burden of me finding out will make a difference in his stress levels, hopefully anyway.

I wish both of you well, I understand how difficult things can be for you folk, but try to understand it's very difficult for your wife too, because there is just no way we can know what our husbands are dealing with, I get back to what I said, it's the differences between men and women which attracts us to men, and when those differences are narrowed it becomes confusing, but I have come a long way in the last couple of years, I know we can probably never understand what you're dealing with, but if the love is there, things usually work out ok.

Judith.

SilverLady(SO) wrote: Another good read: My Husband Betty by Jennifer Boylan.

Just a note of correction, the book was written by Helen Boyd. Also, since the book was written, 'Betty' has transitioned.