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Sooner or later it was bound to happen…

A few days ago I returned from a week-long biking trip with some members of the local cycling team. I pretty much forgot about dressing last week since everyone was in uber-male (think Tim Taylor from “Home Improvement”) mode. It made for a great balance. Anyhow, by the end of the trip, my ride had enough salt and sand to require a thorough cleaning. Tonight, I decided to dress in a tasteful, but less than age-appropriate manner, and clean the bike off at the local car wash.

Being late, I didn’t think there would be many people around. I was right --- at first. I had just finished the task when I noticed a car pulling in two stalls down. No problem. I was in the process of loading the bike back on the car when a voice behind me said, “Ma’am, I….”. When I turned around I was facing a teenage girl. She paused for a second, then continued, “Do you have change?”. Having loaded up with a pocketful of quarters before leaving home, I was able to help her out. She thanked me and returned to her group of friends, some of who had stepped around the corner. Yes, I was busted alright. I just waved at them, got back in the car and left.

I had to drive around for a few minutes before going home to sort out the odd mix of emotions that the whole episode generated. Embarrassment was certainly part of it. More than that, however, was a sense of relief that it had finally happened and it wasn’t the end of the world. Granted, I’m sure they had a big laugh on me once I left, but I didn’t freak anyone out. Whether or not I am accepted as a CDer is less important to me than being understood to be a non-threatening person who just has some unique characteristics.

I feel that many times CDers and transgendered persons in general are viewed as dangerous elements at best and perverts at worst. There are plenty of examples of the latter in what society deems is the “normal” population without affixing the label on us. Unfortunately, based on some the comments that Stef overheard at the mall, it seems there are still a lot of prejudicial opinions held by otherwise intelligent people. Ah, well. Enough of the soapbox. Goodnight, ladies!

Angie

Angie,

I am happy for you, and sad for you. I am glad that you have that behind you, but I am sorry that you still felt embarrassed. Keep your head up, there is no need to feel embarrassed, you can not help how you feel more than anyone else. I think in a way your courage to go out shows you were looking for this confrontation, so in that regard, I am glad you confronted it.
Love always
Elizabeth

Hi Angie,

I was worried when I read the headline. Now I'm happy for you.

Wow! What an experience, no? It's kind of like you came out of the closet on that one. You handled yourself great!

The show Six Feet Under was on this Sunday and I got something from it that I will forever keep with me to feed my mental self. This character on the show commented about the poet who spoke on the stage before her. He was a loner kid who was talking about a vagina. The gal character gets on after him and says, "Could you please only talk about vaginas if you have one." No.. that's not the mental health food quote. lol

After she got off the stage she was talking to some people at a table and they talked about making fun of the guy. She told the other two girls at the table that "Everyone gets made fun of." She said, she was sure that someone at another table (in the poet club) was talking about her right now.

She's right, she's right, she's right. When I heard it, it just made so much sense to me. It was a baby step of my acceptance of me. It doesn't matter if you were born a GG, TS, white, black, pretty, ugly, skinny, or fat. Someone is going to make fun of you.

The way you handled the situation was PERFECT!!! I'm very proud of you Angie. Your instincts helped the girl out, they didn't go into protect yourself mode. Now that girl will forever have a positive feeling regarding her dealings with someone who is transgendered. Maybe one day she'll raise a family and teach them tolerance.

What you did is HUGE! Thank you for sharing it here and thank you for being a great person!!!

Beauty

with

Love,
CJ

Angie,
What Beauty said!!!!!!!!
As I have said before however " a pack of teenage girls" is the absolute worse thing "we" can come into contact with. Anyway, Angie you did good, girl!
Deborah

Angie,

Add me to the chorus of "You Handled It Well"


Jadeanne

Hello, all!!!

Thanks for all the kind words of encouragement. Sorry if the thread title sounded a bit alarming, but it was at the time. Looking back on it, I'm glad it happened. Elizabeth was spot on by suggesting that I was looking for this to happen. I suppose subconsciously, I was, if only to prove to myself that I can interact with others as Angie without expecting the worst.

Beauty, I hate that I missed the "Six Feet Under" episode. It certainly rings true. I can hope that the girl took some measure of understanding away from the encounter. Your insight is VERY appreciated by all here.

Since being out is a very recent change for me, the only thing I can compare it to is being a kid again. All these new things to discover. Activities, such as striking up a conversation, which are routine when in male mode, provide a sense of achievement when dressed. My only regret is that it took 25 years to get here.

Dare to live
Angie

Yet another “Well done!” here. Your response to those girls will help improve the way we CDer's are perceived by the ‘normal’ population. Every encounter matters and your ability to maintain a friendly demeanor in a new-and-still-awkward situation speaks volumes about you! You did us proud, girl. -Nicole

Hi Angie,

Sounds like "Close Encounters". I agree with all who praised the way you handled it. When you said it was a teenage girl, my heart went into my throat. I was truly glad both you and she handled it so well.