Crossdressers-Haven.com

I have seen so many posts asking if a place is CD friendly. I spent many years of shopping and starting out
nervous about going into regular stores and wondering if I will fall to pieces shopping for womans clothes and
making up stories about why I am in the shop. I have found that all of this was an unfounded fear.
Every shop is CD friendly as long as you admit to yourself you are a CD and
are shopping for yourself. When you smile and tell the SA you are looking for a (you name the article and your size)
for yourself you will be amazed at how quickly the SA becomes your friend and will help you select a product.
This will happen about 80% of the time. The other 20% they will not understand and you have to repeat yourself.
After that they get it and will help you.
So, forget about shops being CD friendly, they all are. The large Dept stores have a few rules about trying on
clothes but for the most part we can work around it. My advice is to go into any shop you want to and
they will almost always welcome you as a customer if you are honest with them

Janet,

It seems all major stores are CD friendly now. There is today much more awareness of trans gender persons and corporations know that your money is just as good as any other's. A good SA will want you to feel 'safe' in their care. A satisfied customer is a return shopper.
Just keep in mind the other women in changing areas. Respect of privacy surpasses all else.

Eileen

I would think in today's society that every large retailer would do everything to encourage your business regardless of your gender and what you wish to purchase. Eileen is totally correct about being open and honest with the SA, I doubt you will find anything but help. The major advantage brick and mortar can offer you is personalized customer service so they had better take advantage of it if they hope to survive. You may still find issues in small "family owned" stores. They will probably sell to you but make it apparent they are uncomfortable with you being there. I am reminded of the Seinfeld episode with the "soup Nazi." I don't know about the rest of you but personally I could care less how good the soup was if I was treated badly. I certainly would find another establishment to spend my hard earned money in.

The dressing rooms can present an issue but as Eileen says be respectful of the others there. It is no different than if you are out and about presenting a total feminine image and nature calls. I know myself I have been in a dressing room and more than once the curtain has been slid open by either someone looking for an open cubicle or the SA wondering how I was doing while half dressed. I find those intrusions offensive so if it were a "gurl" doing it I would be irritated to say the least.

Thanks for your post. Those of us still having some degree of nerves need the extra reassurance. It takes a while. When I went bra shopping at Walmart I was surprised there happened to be more guys around at that moment looking at bras. The SA's an older woman seemed to cast a knowing eye but gave no hint of approval or disapproval. And nobody really said anything as I scanned what was available as I looked for my size then selected 2 for me and 1 for my wife. I need to go back for smooth cups as the ones I purchased do not lay smooth with the correct size forms in place although the bras are comfortable. But this is not a major problem.

I went in a payless and looked to see what they had, the SA indicated where my size was and went on about her business without a problem. Don't know what it is about payless...not much right now, and boots are just huge right now...women must be really after the boots and booties for cooler weather even on the Gulf Coast for crying out loud!

Of course watching CNBC just this morning Jim Cramer was holding his smart phone on Squawk on the Street and stating he was holding the mall in his hand as the trend is shifting to online shopping and sales are falling at traditional brick and mortar department stores, those who have not invested in online are hurting...like Macy's, Walmart, and some others, though Walmart does have an online site which I have used. I have some Mary Janes coming in the mail, casual brown leather with rubber sole for activity to wear with my jeans.... Things are changing.

This discussion is so timely for me because I have recently begun to expand my horizons shopping in various women's departments and asking for help While in male attire (on the outside ). So far every SA I have approached has been very helpful.
last week I got up my courage to go into Sephora's. The young woman who approached me was fantastic. It took about 1/2 a beat for her to get in focus to help me. She gave me the full makeup tutorial with wonderful products. She used their skin reading meter to establish my foundation color and I had a ball. She was constantly asking if I was comfortable with what she was doing and explained clearly everything she was about to do. She also made sure that I could do what she was doing as she applied the products. the other sales women would come by and check up on our progress and were super cool as well. All in all I felt respected, pampered, and I also learned a lot. I ended up buying everything we used plus a few other items and a set of brushes. It was expensive but the experience and the outcome of my makeup sessions since have been so much more satisfying. She gave be confidence and I walk out of there as a nicely made up woman in male clothes and I felt great.
Today I got both my ears pierced at Walmart and once I started having a conversation with the older SA she warmed up and we had a nice time of it. I also went to our Local Payless and brought a pair of Wedge type shoes to the SA and asked if she had any in my size, this did not seem to phase her in the least. I have had a couple of other brief interactions which have been positive.
I agree that it helps to just be honest with yourself and with them. It is a bit humbling and I feel vulnerable, but I know this is now become a part of me that has long been repressed, however Stephanie is not going to be deterred by the guilt imposed by our sexist culture. Hugs and I love reading all of your experiences, Stephanie.

Stephanie,

Glad you had a good/great time. As long as you don't act like a pervert, as long as you don't act like you're doing anything wrong sneaking around, then everyone feels comfortable. Customers will pay attention to the extraordinary not the ordinary. That's not to say they won't notice, but you aren't going to draw too much attention. Not sure what Sephora you were in but mine are all fairly busy so getting a full makeup lesson can be difficult. I tend to go in to Sephora or Ulta with specific questions.

Your salesperson did really good because she did what she was supposed to. She made a great sale and she got a customer for life. Once you get used to this kind of pampering from the sales folk, you get a bit more savvy on your purchases as well. Never feel bad about not buying something just because the salesperson treated you so well. That said, don't be wasting their time all the time either; they do have to make a living.

Girls,

Never worry about getting a bad reaction from a salesperson. Even if he/she isn't happy with helping you, they cannot afford to make a spectical or cause trouble. I can't think of that many people working because they like it so that means the saleperson probably needs the job. Treating you badly could jeapordize that job. Now, if you get that one in a million unhappy or uncomfortable person, simply ask him/her to find you another salesperson or wait until the next time you're in the store and if that one approaches just say " no thanks" until you find another salesperson. No big deal; bad service is bad service for any reason. I'm sure you have been in any store asking questions and that particular salesperson couldn't help. Didn't you ask for another person then? This really isn't any different.

Good advice Davita, I started years ago at Clinique. The SA helped me so much
and applied make up and a little pampering. Over the
years have been loyal to Clinique.

Never had a problem although a few times I've been Sired, usually by a male S/A.

Mark me down for another successful shopping afternoon. Multiple stores, multiple opportunities to interact with sales people, customers and cashiers. Not one cross look or embarrassing question. Felt great and I came out of it with another pair of heels and some sleep ware

Generally I have had positive experiences the FEW times I have been out shopping for myself. The SA has always been happy to help.

There was one time though I remember. It was when I was initially trying to develop a fashion sense and was doing a lot of window shopping. For a while Dress Barn experimented with a plus size store (I think it was called Dress Barn Women). I was in browsing one day and the SA approached, probably thinking I was looking for a gift, and helpfully "reminded" me that the store was for larger ladies.

With out missing a beat I replied "Yes, I know. This is where I'm going to find sizes that will fit me" She immediately turned red, mumbled something and retreated. I continued looking through the displays/racks and left (chuckling).

I don't think she was cut out for retail service. Never saw her again in that store. Like I mentioned I think it was a test marketing thing as the store has since closed. Just my luck now that I am more likely to be a buyer rather than just a looker.

Kelly.

Kelly,
Look at your local Dress Barn; all they did was combine all the sizes in the one store. They have a women's side. They also experimented with having all sizes mixed, but that didn't last. I guess nobody liked going through twice as many sizes to find theirs.

One thing to note about Dress Barn and other chain stores in general; they don't all get all the items sold by the store (e.g., Penny's, Sears, Dress Barn) and they don't all get the same sizes and styles at the same time. So if you have several Dress Barns in driving distance, it sometimes pays to visit all of them if you're looking for a particular dress. In addition, most times if you ask, the store will get online or call around for you to save the drive. They will also hold that dress, etc. for you for a couple days until you get there. And yeah, drab or fem I will give them my fem name for the hold. Why not?

I thought Dress Barn was for larger sizes in the first place. Which is why I've never shopped there. The last place this full figured woman wants to shop is a place with 'barn' in the name. Really, nobody in their marketing department thought the name might be just a teeny bit insulting?

Any store that offers more than petite sizes should expect male clientele shopping for themselves as women.

Eileen

Eileen
Never occurred to me.. Interesting comment....
I am sure we can make up a few jokes about it
Janet

I'm with Janet, never even thought a thing about the barn reference. Is my blondeness showing?

Personally I never had any success at Dress Barn. Been in several of them many times over the years and the only thing I ever remember buying was a skirt.

Well, you gals didn't grow up hearing comments like 'getting big as a barn', references to cows and udders, or, (my favorite, meant as a compliment) built like a brick s**t house.
Now I'm comfortable with my body and joke around about it. Dress Barn seems like an insensitive name for larger women's clothing.

Back to subject though. I think you gals might fear the stink eye from other shoppers more than from store staff. No matter how CD friendly a store may be, you can't be sure what another shoppers might do or say. The times I saw men shopping in the woman's area, I just assumed they were shopping for a wife or girlfriend. Looking confused and frustrated, I felt sorry for them. Not sorry enough to offer help, just a friendly smile. Nowadays, if given the chance, I may comment that an item 'will look lovely', followed by a knowing wink.

This is the best time of the year to shop for your female wardrobe, no matter how shy you maybe. Carry a list for sizes, this helps fool nosy shoppers and gives your hands something to do.

Eileen