Crossdressers-Haven.com

Well to tell the truth I don't get out much anymore, main reason my wife is afraid what the neihbors may say or do and she doesn't want that. Last outing was in March went we went to a Tri-ess meeting out of town. The fun and joy we both had as we went to a public restaurant for a wonder meal and we were all dress. The memories and photos will last forever. The drive is to far to go often so we don't go. I used to slip out all the time and go for drives to the mall and just window shop,or to the post office and walk inside to mail a bill. My wife saids I look nice all the time and can pass if I don't over dress. My problem is what is the use of getting dressed up and have to stay at home, it's a hard thing for me as I would love to go put again as I have done in the passed just to walk around the mall. Carol Ann

Dear Carol Ann:

I think I understand what you are saying. For some of us as in myself, I dress on a whim and for the most part, full-fill my interest through my digital photography hobby of perfecting my look. I like to use Adobe Photo Deluxe, the inexpensive version of their major software, Adobe Photo Shop.

I can merge, crop, and for the most part create fantastic results fairly quickly. I may shoot 75 pictures in say an hour or less. Then find the right one and work on it. I also print and post them here in my office-den. Does not seem like much fun but I am about the "engineering" the details mostly.

I am feeling a need to go out and mingle with society in general again. I have a friend about 40 miles from me and she goes to Tri-Ess each month. She wants me to go with her and make a presentation on the photography subject after seeing my "digital art work."

You may need to find something that works for you. I am 55, 6' tall, 149lbs, slim, 38-29-35. I am very fortunate in that I am relatively hair free with the obvious exceptions and a very slight facial hair growth. Being brunette to brown hair makes me take extra care about the face for the right look.

Being married 34 years has been both an investment and interesting. My SO has only known about me for 3 years now and has not read anything. Sort of a head-in-the-sand approach. What I do not see, I do not know about. That is okay. That is how she deals with it without upsetting herself.

I have choices and take responsibility for them. I am a Dr. Phil fan.
Respect your wife and find a friend in your area perhaps. Some here in this area go to a hotel and change then go out for the evening. When they go home they look like every day people to the neighbors and family members.
??????????????

Danielle La Belle wrote:Dear Carol Ann:

I think I understand what you are saying. For some of us as in myself, I dress on a whim and for the most part, full-fill my interest through my digital photography hobby of perfecting my look. I like to use Adobe Photo Deluxe, the inexpensive version of their major software, Adobe Photo Shop.

. . .

Being married 34 years has been both an investment and interesting. My SO has only known about me for 3 years now and has not read anything. Sort of a head-in-the-sand approach. What I do not see, I do not know about. That is okay. That is how she deals with it without upsetting herself.

I have choices and take responsibility for them. I am a Dr. Phil fan.
Respect your wife and find a friend in your area perhaps. Some here in this area go to a hotel and change then go out for the evening. When they go home they look like every day people to the neighbors and family members.
??????????????

Hi Danielle,

Great post!

I haven't heard about a CD person who has been a fan of him. So I have a question? How do you feel about Dr. Phil saying this about CD'ing?

Here's a quote from someone who saw it:
I was watching Dr. Phil on television the other day with my wife. He was talking to a woman who discovered, after marrying her husband, that he was a crossdresser, or at least had crossdressing tendencies. Dr. Phil counseled the woman to leave the man because of his "perversion," and told her that no one could ever be sexually satisfied with a crossdresser for a husband because he would always be masturbating while wearing her underwear, and so on, instead of sexually pleasing her. Mind you, the woman had three kids with this guy, and she actually didn't say that they didn't have sex. Then Dr. Phil got the husband on the phone and yelled at him for being dishonest.

. . .

-- Perverts and Nylon Tights

http://www.planetout.com/pno/health/sex ... sernum=731

Did you know he said that? If so, I'm really curious, because I don't watch him, was this taken out of context and he's said other things about CD's that is contrary to this?

Thank you for any feedback you can give!

First things first.

Dr Philip McGraw is at times rather outspoken. He allows at times, his personal religious beliefs to enter into his analysis.

I have not seen any show so far that resembles the information that you provided. BUT, with certainty, I can say that I have not viewed all of his airings to date. SO, I could have missed that particular show. Also, he could have been taken out of context.

Things like this are an algebra problem. There are so many unknown facts, (variables) that we cannot arrive at a fair answer. For the most part, people routinely speak from emotional reaction, implying their information is fact, when in reality, it is purely conjecture, supposition, and even bordering on malice with the intent to harm another's credibility.

It is my experience that while what was said could be true, we simply cannot form an unbiased opinion on this type of unsubstaniated information.

The difference between the uneducated and eduated, the well heeled and the unknowing, the mature and immature, is in what they will believe and pass on to others. If it is said often enough, it surely will become someones truth!

Take heart, you have maybe 100 years to live here. If you can live in both genders and do no harm to human kind, the more power too you. Harm not yourself, or others. Provide for those that you have decidedly taken on as a personal responsibility and tread water....girl....

I read everything I can, and only believe in half of what I read!

I went to the web site at "PlanetOut." The writer that supplied the article is usually factual. SO once again, I think that Dr. Phil is using the melodrama of television and playing to a female audience, BUT, his concept of "taking ownership" for what we do, is still very much a philosophy that the modern, mature, worldly individual should do. The me, myself and I person needs to rethink that concept.

No one is going to be always right! Not Dr. Phil and certainly not me!

Just trying to get through life!

Danielle La Belle wrote:I went to the web site at "PlanetOut." The writer that supplied the article is usually factual. SO once again, I think that Dr. Phil is using the melodrama of television and playing to a female audience, BUT, his concept of "taking ownership" for what we do, is still very much a philosophy that the modern, mature, worldly individual should do. The me, myself and I person needs to rethink that concept.

No one is going to be always right! Not Dr. Phil and certainly not me!

Just trying to get through life!

Hi Danielle,

Ok, thanks for letting me know. I was hoping it was taken out of context, but I do agree no human is ever 100% right.

Thanks again. I hope my post didn't come across confrontational. I really wanted to know what a fan of his thought.

Take care,
Beauty

Beauty:

For what it is worth, I write often with such energy that my style appears to be harsh. Thus the reasoning for the "Emoticons." No, you came off perfectly as an individual interested in a particular subject.

I have been exposed to people at the masters and Ph.d., level for so long that I have become indoctrinated in a specific writing style that is more tearse than most. Sorry, honestly. There is more than one style to letter writing and when responding on a forum of any kind for that matter, we often forget that the other party cannot see all the usual facial expressions that we as humans use to measure various levels of responce.

People associating with psychologists, philosophers and alike, tend to write in a somewhat defensive manner. Everything we say is analyzed by these groups and so I write with more of an analytical approach than of one driven by emotion.

Carl Jung is an Analytical Psychologist, ( 1875 - 1961) the father of modern AP and provided a rather cloaked concept of CD/TG etc. Perhaps this might do you some good to read this in it's entirety. I have been providing this to everyone that I talk to becuase it seems to side with us in so many positive ways. It has been written in a friendly and reasonable way for all to digest. Perhaps Dr. Phil should consider some of it's points!

http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepage ... /anima.htm

Tell me what you think after reading it. Do you find yourself in this explanation? It may be the best material you read all year!

If you wish to continue this conversation later perhaps we should go to a "thread" that is more suitable for general conversation in this forum. I would be most happy to do so. I lived in Alexandria, Va., (1969-1979).

:: wipes dust off of skirt ::

I found it!!!

I'd like to see what our newest members think.

Beauty

I just read the article and really enjoyed the idea that the notions that make up who we are can be floating up from a deeper wish to harmonize---------think I'll slip on my saffron-sarong, light some incense and reflect on this further, (hhhmmmmm what shoes will go good with that?)-----------Tea-cake

Danielle,
You are a sweetheart!!!!
Thankyou for providing the "Jung site." I copied it off and my wife and I have been discussing it. She says she has accepted my Cd'ing but does not want to meet Deborah. This Jung Theory has confirmed a lot of what I have been dealing with personally and has really eliminated most of what I have been struggling to understand. I especially like the statement:"The inclusion of the female effects a change in the male personality, producting a new personality that is better than either alone." I could go on, but you probalbly have forgotten more about this than this "dumb blonde," will ever know. I am really studing this not only for my own good, but because I want my wife (and family) to accept and understand why I am this way and Deborah can furthur express herself.
Actually, I think I am approaching the understanding"that it was not the clothing or being a woman that he sought--these merely symbolized the deeper aspects of his personality he sought to express." However, I still enjoy dressing and going out!
Thank you again for all you have done!!
Love, Deborah

Hello Girls:

Thank you Deborah for the recognition, of course, I only happened upon the article in my research and do not wish to claim more than that. My self-esteem comes from within and I hope to share that idea with others. You cannot buy it in a box, bottle or other material container as so many have discovered over the ages.

While this may seem an extreme example consider this. The majority of people that you know are reluctant to look back into the porcelain bowl of mystery after a stool movement to see the results. That is, if they fear what they may see, then what can we say for looking within ourselves.

It is magical and wonderful that you may have read something that supports YOUR personality. That special you that is inside. What so many cannot understand is what it is like to experience this 2nd self. To pass through the curtain of gender and if just for a moment in time, breathe deeply and feel this warmth of contentment and acceptance.

With no need to question the motives, how it relates to our sexuality, or other physical factors or actions, we can for a brief period, feel complete and permit a glow to surround us like a really big hug from friends or loved ones. So the next time you are receiving such a moment, close your eyes and see yourself as this internal woman, creating the mirror image you have seen so often. While it may not be a perfect means of being accepted, I have found that for the moment, it is like running the minute mile, or winning the Boston Marathon. The feeling is fleeting, but all things move forward as the hands on the face of a clock.

My goal is to serve my community while I am able. That is my own personal quest and fulfillment without any fanfare or drawing attention to myself.

Hugs

Danielle

Thanks again Danielle,
As I sit here admiring my lipstick on my coffee cup ( there is something so sexy about that) and wondering why the dog hates me, I discovered I forgot to feed the poor thing! - Done! anyway your porcelin analogy was interesting to say the least.
What you said about looking inside yourself and/or experiencing that moment in time one and one becoming one with yourself. I guess I have been there and did not completely recognize it. I get dressed, take my time, try and do everthing right so Deborah/me would be proud to look into the mirror and say "you are a good looking woman." I have done that and as I see the reflection looking back I do not see me -- I see Deborah, not a male in women's clothing but a pretty blonde named Deborah. Now that I think about it and rereading the Jung Animna Theory, perhaps I have transitioned to that part of me were dressing is not as important as the associated feminine feeling that possesses me.
I still want to go out and pass, but it is no longer the competitive spirit within me as it is simply, I am Deborah and if Deborah wants to go for a drive or go to a movie -- you go girl! I sure love this GIFT and I intend to take very good care of it! Thanks again for being there, making this "dumb blonde" think and she is revelling in the results!
Love, Deborah

I was looking around for something I came accross about CDing-Bissu-priests in Indonesia a long time ago, something about them occupying a special spot between heaven/earth...so far all I found was this cache of a google site. My machine is slow! so I didn't get too far into all the related sites but you might find www.insideindonesia.org/edit66/bissu2.htm interesting)...mmmmmmmmI can just see the oil lamps swinging and smell the clove ciggarettes...just dug out my cooool javanese-print skirt and dreaming of the tropics -Tea-cake

Stop dreaming! Just go and close the bathroom door, turn on the hot water only and pretty soon you will have a true tropical environment in your very own bathroom.... 100% humidity just like what we get in Florida, July, August....Oh yes, turn on your sun lamp on high and a small room fan on low for the full effect.......................
Ha ha ha LOL LOL

Danielle