Crossdressers-Haven.com

The show, that is.

http://www.purgatory-theshow.com/

This little slice of whatever was reviewed in last week's Charlotte edition of Creative Loafing, as part of their guide to the weird and wonderful. The article was very informative, and I thought, that looks like fun. I prepaid for an advance VIP ticket. I then emailed the show coordinator to make sure they're TG-friendly. He wrote back that I was very welcome. I'd promise to take pictures, but cameras aren't allowed, so y'all will have to settle for my lurid descriptions.

So, is that anything like Dark Odyssey?

http://www.darkodyssey.com/

Workshop/presenters

http://www.darkodyssey.com/springfire/presenters.html

inc. Helen Boyd

OK you two have scared me!!!!
Jaye, I can't believe you even had to ask if they were TG friendly! TG friendly? I would want to know if the space aliens were friendly!
And Donna, uh, well, I know someone who might object to your attending any of that. Just email me where to send the flowers before you go!
Virginia

Jaye,

I will be interested in your impressions. I'm on the mailing list for Purgatory, but have not attended. Might need to amend that if you give it high marks.

Take Care,
Angie

Jaye & Angie - - Um, sorry (not!), but Virginia and I are definitey not into the BDSM scene, no matter how it is portrayed. But, if that's what you're into, have at it - - and I hope you have a good time, just be safe!

Donna - Not only will we send flowers, but we'll also be your pallbearers, unless your wife doesn't leave enough for a pine box!!



- SL

I'm not sure that I'm that "into" the scene, it just looked like fun in the paper. Here's the write-up that hooked me:

http://charlotte.creativeloafing.com/gy ... d%3A138296

I probably didn't have to ask about them being TG-friendly, but here in the Carolinas, it's sometimes best to ask first. Carolinians are, in my experience, very weird about how they handle their kinks. One of the hotels I used to work with was the host for a monthly swingers' convention. They'd come in early Friday afternoon, and then the place as wall-to-wall with all kinds of kinky stuff for the next 50 hours or so. They hosted all sorts of activities, but it was couples only, and gay men were not welcome. Female/female sexual activity was not only supported, but actively encouraged, but any contact between males was expressly forbidden.

In any case, I'm looking at this as a fact-finding mission, so to speak. I've been reading about this stuff for years, and I've seen all kinds of stuff on cable and the internet. My ex and I experimented off and on with light bondage, but we never got beyond that. We still talk off and on, and last month she told me that she's getting into it with her current boyfriend (her "Master"). Yeah, that blew my mind.

On the other end of the slide, I mentioned that I was going at the Kappa Beta meeting yesterday. I did not get the reception I was hoping for. Nobody had anything negative to say, but they joked about it incessantly, all night long. It got so bad that I almost went home. They were joking, but it felt to me like they were picking on me. I got picked on a lot as a child, and there's nothing that makes me feel like I'm thirteen, or ten, or seven, like a bunch of people sitting around me talking trash about me or something I like to do. That really took me back, and I told them so. They toned it way down after that, and things went back to normal.

Jaye,
Honey, my being a blond, sometimes, things get past me easily.
In reading your post, I some how get the impression that the Kappa Beta folks were having fun with the "Purgatory" ?concert? Surely you can not mean that they were teasing you directly or even indirectly!? If that is the case, please let me know.
SL and I have read your post and she feels that you felt like you were being teased for expressing interest in the "concert." Is that in fact what happened?
Love ya,
Virginia

Jaye: I hope you don't take their reactions too seriously. Like everyone else, even TG folks will use humor to deflect their discomfort with a subject.

Purgatory used to be held at a location about three blocks from my house, but that venue has changed hands a few times since then. I was sorely interested in attending, but my SO has such a problem with thinking I'd get carried away (literally!) and never come home again. B/D and S/M are closely related to the psychology driving my sexuality, and fetish of almost any kind is my favorite thing in the world. I hope you have a GREAT time at the show, and REALLY enjoy yourself!

Thanks for the comments, ladies. I've calmed down a bit in the days since, but it really rankled me at the time. I can take a joke as well as the next person, but the jokes were piled on thick, and it really hurt my feelings. I told them I was going to check things out, maybe experiment a little. All night long I had to listen to jokes about whips, French maid outfits, anal probes, etc. Telling them I was more interested in the fetish side of things didn't help. I tried pointing out that one of our members likes prom dresses, and that another tends to wear outfits that wouldn't have been out of place in the 1950s, and they told me, "That's different." I thought that was the point.

I've been to purgatory in 2005

http://www.purgatory.com.au/home.html

Not my cup of tea

Jaye,

It's been my experience that folks who joke or deride a given subject a bit too much are often intrigued by something, but are too afraid to admit it. I went to a Kappa Beta meeting once and saw more than a few people who would have probably loved to have gone out - anywhere - in public if they only had the confidence.

Above all, just be safe and have a good time.

Take Care,
Angie

Well, it's Wednesday before the show, and I'm totally jazzed about this. By some incredible stroke of luck, I got Friday off in addition to the Saturday I requested, so I'll be able to get in some shopping, and get my nails done and stuff, before the big event.

It's a very good thing that I bought my VIP ticket weeks ago, as they sold out a few hours before the deadline, and they're expecting the general admission tickets to sell out shortly after the doors open. It's Single Cell's 5th anniversary party, so they're expecting a huge turnout.

I haven't completely sorted out my outfit for Saturday night, so that's one of the reasons for Friday's shopping outing. Besides, I haven't really been out shopping since February, and my shopping bug is itching furiously. I might pick up a new wig. Payless is having BOGO again, as if I really need any more shoes. I have picked out a suitable color for my manicure/pedicure this week: OPI's Lincoln Park After Dark, which is a dark purple with a black undertone. Very Goth!

Can't wait to hear all about this adventure. Needless to say, be careful, but have fun!! You will probably see things that you can't imagine!
A full descriptive report is required!
Love,
Virginia

Well, it has been a week since the show, and it has taken me almost that long to digest the experience. It isn't wrong of me to say that it was life-changing. Please don't get any weird ideas. I haven't sold myself into bondage or anything like that. It's just that my outlook on life has changed a little.

Like I said before, I was really psyched for this event. On last Thursday, payday, I went out and got my chest and back waxed. I was planning on wearing a corset-style top, and I wanted my torso as clean as could be. I've had my legs waxed before, and I get my eyebrows done every couple of weeks now, but this was a new experience. My treatment was done by a very cool lady named Roula. We laughed and joked all through the "ordeal". She kept expecting me to cry out. I winced a little, but that was about it. I told her, "I could scream "AAAA!" every time, if it would make you feel better. The salon doesn't allow customers to put tips on credit, so I had to go next door to the grocery store to get her tip, which was probably a little large, but I like to take care of the people who take care of me.

Friday was my first opportunity to get out en-femme in a couple of weeks. I dressed casual, in a pink/black striped top and Kik Girl jeans, with a pair of brown sandals I picked up at WalMart on payday. I kept my makeup and jewelry simple and casual.

Once I got out, I started hitting the beauty supply stores in search of that OPI nail color I mentioned before. None of them stocked it! I even went into a couple of different salons and asked. So I went on to my usual place. They were the busiest I'd ever seen them, but Julie (the owner) welcomed me in and took care of me. She helped me pick out a different nail color, more of a pale purple. Then she talked me into something different. She told me that having the color all over my nail would be too "busy". She told me that colored tips were more trendy, more fashionable. It was just for the weekend, so I said, "Why not?". In addition to the pedicure and manicure, I asked her to do my eyebrows, and I had her thin them out a bit more than before. They've got a nice, subtle arch, and still aren't too thin for a man.

My shopping trip didn't go exactly as planned, either. I started at the Torrid at Southpark Mall, which I have come to think of as homebase. They didn't have any corsets, and they didn't have a skirt I wanted in my size. The manager referred me to their sister store at Northlake. On the way out of the mall, I stopped at the MAC counter in Nordstrom. I told them I was looking for something smoky and gothic for my eyes, without being the stereotypical black on black. The artist ho helped me put together a really fabulous combo: Phloof for under the brows, Coppering for the lids, and Shadowy Lady for liner and details. I actually tweaked his idea a little, matching it to my own style. He was impressed with my handiwork. I've never spent so much on cosmetics at one time ($42 for three colors of eye shadow), but I was really happy with the results. Onward to Northlake!

The Torrid at Northlake was a lot more helpful. They still didn't have the skirt I wanted, but they had three different corset tops to choose from. I went with this one:



They were also having a sale. Everything on clearance was an additional 75% off! I didn't look around too much, but I found a tan suede coat with furs trim, originally $138, marked down to $69, clearance price: $17.50!

Anyway, that's about all I can say about the day before.

The day of, I slept in as late as I could manage. I got up in the afternoon to do some laundry, then started my preparations for the evening. I decided to pair my new corset with the pleather mini I wore for Halloween. I added some fishnets and black vinyl boots. I did my makeup a little heavier than normal, especially the eyes, but not too much. The emails from the last week indicated that guests should arrive early, so I headed out about 7pm, even though the doors weren't set to open till 8. There was a little line in front of Amos' by the time I got there, but this was mostly made up of people who hadn't bought tickets online. There were only a handful of others who had prepaid. A lot of those people seemed to know each other, so I felt a little out of place at first, one couple were very nice. They introduced me to a few people. Crossdressers aren't unheard of there, but they're definitely a minority.

In my "normal" trips out, I've grown accustomed to a certain level of attention, either positive or negative. People always seem to stare. Not at Purgatory. People looked, but it wasn't in any way the same. After a while, I began to feel very at home. If I was a freak, then I was one among hundreds. I kept hoping that I'd run into someone I knew, but the closest I came was bumping into a couple of people that I'd seen other places. I talked to a reporter/photographer who I'd seen at Torrid a month or so ago. I saw a girl who'd been working the counter at Borders the day before. There was a gentleman running around dressed as a kitsune (a fox spirit from Japanese mythology) whom I had met briefly nine years ago at the Carolinas Renaissance Festival. He was amazed that I remembered, but I told him no one could forget his costume.

I like to brag that I've seen everything, but just when I think I've seen it all, life throws a surprise or two at me. For instance, I am just a quarter inch shy of 6' 1". I was wearing boots with 4" heels. I towered over a lot of people, but not all. I waded through the crowd until I bumped into a guy who stood head and shoulders (and a good bit of chest) over me. I saw all manner of costumes. There were two people wearing a good semblance of Trinity's costumes from "The Matrix", except they were completed by gas masks and nuns' wimples. There was a guy in a 1940s-style Kriegsmarine U-boat commander uniform, minus the swastikas.

I got to talk to all kinds of people, about all sorts of stuff. I didn't experiment with a lot of things, but I did talk a lot. Next time I think I'll be more adventurous, now that I'm better informed. There was one thing I really wanted to try, but I waited too long to get into line. That activity was the human swing, described in the Creative Loafing story. I noticed that no men were doing it, and asked if that was because of weight issues. The proprietors told me that it wasn't a problem at all, but no man had ever asked before. I told them I'd definitely see them again in June. June's event has a scifi theme, so I'm already working on all sorts of ideas for costumes and things.