Crossdressers-Haven.com

I've been dissatisfied with my look for the past couple of years - I never seem to pick out the right style in clothes and my makeup attempts beyond getting the foundation on are a disaster. Even tho I don't go out, I did want to look good for myself! And my wife doesn't know about my CDing and would not approve.

So I put a post into a well-known community message board, better known for its advertisements of NSA sex. I asked for help from the women in the community - I made it clear that I was NOT interested in NSA sex but would work out an exchange with anyone who wished - like doing work for them or career counseling or helping kids with homework, etc.

I got two ladies who responded.

One was a lady (55 but looking 45) who needed help with her house - she had been through several major disasters in her life and was coming out of depression. So I helped fix her diverter valve on her shower and did some repairs on her car. In return - she is close to my size and has a whole room full of clothes and one bathroom filled with makeup! She had a couple of wigs as a result of her bout with cancer which I tried on - definitely very nice! We spent a couple hours organizing the clothes and trying them on - I found a jeans skirt and shell that worked well for working around her house. In turn she pointed out that it would help my image if I reduced the hair on my arms...so I did! I exchanged my skin care protocol with her (Pernox scrub in the morning, with s skin renewal system about once a month and Olay products every day).

One big benefit was - I felt like a load had been taken off my shoulders by chatting with this lady.

The other lady worked in Sephora part time and offered her help with makeup and what ever other tips she could offer on demeanor, etc. She was sympathetic but she thought I was gay. I assured her I was not in fact, although I was not interested in her in that kind of way. She has coached me a lot of how to walk and how to behave in addition to the makeup tips.

I put in another post on the message board asking for a voice coach. Let's see what happens!

Interestingly - both women felt pretty positive about me going out in public and encouraged me to try it. With their help maybe I'll make it!

Hug,

Charla

HI Charla,

That is fantastic!!!!!! It is threads like yours that can really help others of our sisters who are looking for ways to improve/change their presentation.

I am truly impressed with your post and the results. I think a lot of us would be interested in more details of the information that they gave you.

I know you know "the drill" about "baby steps" with your wife, but you know her best and if she would not approve then that is something that you can contend with. I guess one question that I have is did you have to explain to her what you were doing for these two other ladies or did it not even come up??

I know that you probably made a difference in the life of the first lady. She probably now feels like she is needed and that is something that most of us want is to feel needed and to make a difference in someone else's life. So you were really in a win/win situation. I think it is wonderful.

Please keep us up to date as you continue this. Really GREAT!!!!

Love,

Virginia

Just when you thought you heard it all!

Very cool, Charla, very cool.

One of the first things bth ladies said was - you need to pluck your eyebrows. That is one thing that will make you look better right away.

The other key tip was getting colors to match skin tone. More later...

I went to K's house today and switched out the diverter valve in one of her bathrooms. It took a little while - I had to go to Home Depot to get the tool to take out the diverter valve - just a super-deep socket - and then one more trip to get the valve itself. The shower was back in operation in 2 minutes, and K was extremely happy!

She then offered to do a makeup session which I gladly accepted. I had tried using some foundation on the way up and K smiled when she saw how heavily I had applied it. So we went into her makeup room - this is a standard sized bedroom with makeup all over the place - in boxes, in trays, on the floor, etc. And shoes - still in boxes, out, etc. I offered to help her organize it sometime, which she gladly accepted.

She started out by using concealer on a brush and putting it into the corners of my eyes and down below the eye to cover up the dark spots under the eyes. The she used some under the nose to cover upo the dark places under there. Next she used some foundation primer on my nose, on the area above my nose between the brow, and on the cheeks. I began to sense that she was using much less makeup than I had. She then applied the foundation - again using a brush - on the nose, cheeks and brow, and then she blended it into the rest of the face. The net effect was very natural ! She then tried a couple of powders to hold the foundation in place and moderate the shine. What suprised me was the effect she got with so little makeup!

She then put some blush on my cheeks and brow and I started to look like I had some color.

Next came up the lips. She outlined my lips with a plum colored pencil, and managed to add a little width to my naturally thin lips. We then opted for a plum lip stick and put some orange lipgloss on the bottom lip for fun. It looked great !

We did the eyes next. She took a blak eyeliner and did the top eyelid and just the outer edge of the bottom eyelid. A little mascara on the top added a nice touch. At my suggestion she used a blue eyeshadow and that really was nice.

I went off to admire the effect in a full mirror. Now the room I was in was full of nothing but clothes of all kinds - everything from lingerie and panties and hose and negligees to very nice gowns - I saw one from Nieman Marcus with a $500 tag still attached. K came in and asked if I wanted to try something on. Of course I said "Yes!" So she found a black slinky dress from Nicole __ in New York and I went out and got a slip and pantyhose from my own stuff. I tried the gown on - it was wonderful! It was stretchy fabric and full length arms and an assymetric neckline and about calf length on me. K came in and admired it and pronounced it suitable. I did not have a bra on otherwise I don't think I would have ever taken the dress off. I walked down stairs to admire it in a full length mirror for a while.

She found a pair of size 10 high heels which fit me wonderfully. So I practiced walking in those for a while and practiced sitting down gracefully in them under K's tutleage. Nex

Eventually I had to go and then K asked me if I would like to have the dress. Of course I would ! So she asked about one more household thing - she had a bathroom that is going to need major work. The walls for the shower are gone, the shower head is gone....major repairs! She said in reurn we can work on my wardrobe while I am doing this...where am I going to put all these clothes LOL....

Sounds like a good trade and sounds like you enjoy your coach also.

Absaroka

Now that's a new twist! I will work for cloths

Hey I would work for clothes. Maybe we could start a new business giving CDers a second job at nights and weekends. Link up CDers with single gals and others needing help around the house that they can not do there self or can not afford to hire someone to do. Maybe call it something like:

Skirted Handymen and CDers

Need a job done you can not do yourself or need a maid. Let a skirt help you out. Flexible and affordable payment options based on what is in your closet.

A equal opportunity company

Charla,

This is just too cool!!!!

You mentioned a few things that I was not aware of but I will look into in the area of make-up.

First, all my concealer is liquid so I will definitely look for a powder as I do seem to get better coverage with powder.
Second, the foundation primer? Now that is a new one to me as well.

Wow, I think you have opened some doors for a lot of us!!! Really cool.

Virginia

For this particular lady, she will get a lot of stuff done and get rid of a LOT of clothes LOL!!! She has theem all over the place!

Since your not out to your wife, where will you put everything?

DonnaT,

For now, anything K gives me can stay there - she has lots of room. Eventually I think I will have to come out to my wife.

I am new here, so am not exactly sure where my place is, but . . .here goes:

You must come out to your wife.

The longer this goes on, the more you hide from her, the worse it is going to be.

Your relationship with K is going to devlope because you all share something.

I am speaking as an SO who has found out things that I should have been told, and I know how I feel.

JaneSB,

You are right - I do need to talk to my wife about this. I will need to figure out how to script this, so I will take a look and see how others have broken the news.

Good luck, Carla