Another goal met Exercise #5

[Anne Bonny]

Boom! Another major hurdle falls...fully dressed, make up and forms, jewelry with, a navy woman's polo, lady's boot cut jeans and my Brown casual Mary Janes with suntan knee highs and my purse. Got in the car and drove to Walmart Neighborhood Market. I got out walked in and through the store back by the pharmacy and picked up some size 30x36" bed pads - we were out. on the way out a lady in a cart gave me a smile.... I walked to self check out paid and left the store, got into the car and came home.

No one even noticed that I could see, guess they weren't even looking. I thought about going to a checkout with a female cashier but...nah. Just because it was a wonderful experience for me.

Wow that is an enormous step for me...out in public with men and women everywhere...That is one small step for a gurl...one giant leap for Anne Bonnie...lol

[Mikaela]

Congrats! I know that each milestone we pass feels amazing. Keep pushing and moving towards your ultimate goals.

[Eileen (SO)]

You'll find, Anne, that unless you dress to draw attention, no one really cares. Even if someone figures you out, or they can't be sure, why bother with a confrontation? Beside, more than a few might wish they could be as bold as you are.

I've been told that when first going into the public arena, store lights seem much brighter, there is a security spotlight following you and everyone is staring. Not true, really.
Women smile at each other all the time. Whether the lady who smiled at you was aware or not does not matter one bit. She accepted you as another woman shopper.

Eileen

[Anne Bonny]

Thanks. “If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with success unexpected in common hours.” ~Henry David Thoreau.

[Kelly]

Made my day reading your post! I smiled.

Good going,
Kelly

[Diana Michelle]

Congratulations Anne! It sure sounds like you had a great and positive experience. Eileen is, as she is most of the time, 100% correct in her observation that if you don't dress to draw attention you won't. And yes women have a habit of smiling at each other, it's just our way so get used to it!

From what I have read here over the years many of you girls seem to have very positive experiences in public still you seem to worry and fret how people will see you. Just dress and act to fit the situation and your experience will go well.

A little story to tell all of you about dressing appropriately not to draw attention. For those of you who don't know I live in a small town in northern Michigan. Up here you go to the same stores and even if you don't know everyone by name you recognize many of them as you see them at the store, the restaurants, church, etc. Well a couple of weeks ago There was a fundraiser for a local animal shelter. It was not formal but everyone dresses up for it and I wore a nice dress that showed a touch of cleavage and had on hose and heels. It was a warm evening so I had on a shawl and with the long sleeves was quite comfortable.

On the way home I remembered I was almost out of half and half for my morning coffee so I thought nothing of stopping at the local grocery store for some. It is the same store I shop in a couple of times a week so most of the people who work there know me as do many most the customers. In spite of people knowing me, some even called me by name while I was there I know I drew looks and stares as I made my way through the store to get my half and half, my heels echoing with every step. No one said a thing about how I was dressed but I could feel the looks. It's a girl thing, right Eileen? Amazing I was back in that same store a couple of days later, this time in jeans to do some shopping, didn't draw the looks I did that night.

I tell you this story to illustrate how even women can draw attention, generally unwanted, by how they dress in certain situations. Don't fret so much about drawing attention to yourselves because of being TG while out and about. Dress and act accordingly and you will find the acceptance you seek.

[Debbie Dinn]

This is so fantastic! While I've dressed at home and worn panties for years, I dream of this.

[Anne Bonny]

Why dream of this? You have to open that closet door...I told my wife in 1998...then few years back started building an inner circle of people who know, now If I am dressed when they come it does not matter in the least, they are all supportive, encouraging, helpful...told my sons once they were over 18 and out of high school. Told a sister...and then started setting goals to acclimate myself gradually to get over my fear. I found our fears and our imaginations make the barrier nearly impossible to climb over...but once you do it and find yourself wondering...what was I worried about...it does become easier. Like taking trash out to the trash can...If I want to I can go right now...get in the car and go anywhere I desire. Because this is who we are we do need to be bold and go for it. I may not be enfemm all the time but why should I limit or hide my femm side when I am enfemm? You have to be really really tired of having to hide who you are, nearly half of who I am - that is simply no longer acceptable to me, not going to live my life like that anymore...I am not completely out but I am nearly and it would not take much...when the time is right...I will be out to everyone and to the world.

[Deidre Taylor]

The fears of being outed or ridiculed are very real. Perhaps I am lucky in my mother and sisters discovered and embraced my feminine side while I was young, probably 13 or 14. That led to guidance and "training" in the fine art of femininity made the outside world easier for me to navigate and feel comfortable. Still I know I have drawn the stares and whispers under the breath over the years. I just ignore them as you should too Anne. It is your life to live and from reading some of your other posts with what you are going through with your wife you deserve to be yourself anytime you want.

After reading this and your other "exercises" it is very apparent to me you want to just be who you are ion everyday situations. Over my 40 plus years of being "out" I have had many experiences and adventures however perhaps the most satisfying are those everyday things. From the first time I ventured en femme to the laundromat to taking the car in for an oil change and so on the interaction with people as a woman are very rewarding. Keep us updated as your exercises continue.

[Eileen (SO)]

Oh my! I've been mentioned as mostly 100% right. Thanks Diana, but I can't take full credit, I quiz my sweetie often on his perspective in either mode of dress.

A well dressed woman or man will draw attention, more so in a casual setting like buying half and half at a quickie store, but the nervous dresser will think those looks are disapproving rather than admiration. Many women have experienced the awkwardness when dressed to the nines and have to run into a convenient store for fresh pantyhose. Damn these smaller cars and seat belt laws when late for a party and PH has to be changed on the run. Grrr!

Confidence in presentation works well, Anne. People rarely confront a strong person. After you've gone to the same stores many times, frequent shoppers and cashiers will know you as you are. I mean that they will recognize Anne, one of the local shoppers there.

Eileen

[Heather W]

Congratulations Anne in taking those first scary steps into the light of day. It's scary as I sit here and realize that wasn't that long ago for me and I remember how scared I was. Just dress appropriately and act like a lady and you will find it easy out on this side of the closet door. Diana is right about women smiling at each other, it's kind of our version of a secret handshake.