Living our authentic self

[Anne Bonny]

It is important that we live our authentic self...I find myself consolidating my wardrobe, jewelry, and make up so that Anne's wardrobe is every bit the match of that of my masculine side (a woman's wardrobe is a lot larger so equal is a relative term). And just like Suzanne a senior member of our community out in Hollywood (see transline hollywood on YouTube ) I find that I am living a good part of my time as Anne but also a good bit on my male side. As I grow as a person...overcoming the fear in my head, years of being oppressed conditioned and browbeaten into submission from birth and forced to hide half of my self from the world in order to be able to easily live by meeting other's expectations...finally in the independence of retirement...the tragic loss of the love of my life now final stage Alzheimer's and the empty nest...parents dead...sisters hundreds of miles away..and no true friends in this city..well the sitter is employed by me but she is a friend without her there would be no one here in person that I can call a friend we talk alot. The hospice staff are medical professionals.. I do have some pen pals but they are distant...For the very first time in my life I have the freedom to be who I am. One sister knows...sons...pen pals...all involved in my wife's care...and I am more out than ever...pedicures...hairdressers...been out and about some and as I begin to rebuild my life what with about 30 years left to me there is no way in hell anyone is going to stuff me back into a box. I will find a lady who embraces who I am or I will live alone. Nobody has the right to force half of who we are as people into a box. Nobody..and that that has been done to us from birth is a crime against our humanity. Live your authentic self. Do not let anyone force you into a box when once you find and have your freedom.

I do harbor a lot of hatred toward religion particularly Christianity and Islam because they would either kill us outright (the Islamic) or they would bar us from their churches and insist we undergo "conversion therapy" under their biblically based "mental health counselors" all as they continue to mouth to us "We love you" Fact is they "love" us only if we cease to be who we are which is impossible for us unless they cut out half our brain! True there may be "Liberal anything goes churches" but they also believe their sacred writings are subject to any interpretation they wish to apply to them. Thing is I am an agnostic and all of religion is mythological...fantasy fiction which has absolutely no basis in objective reality. I am incapable of really believing in a fantasy world which would not stand up to the facts or the rigors of the scientific method. The argument I heard the other day was how could we exist, we did not spring from nothing....oh yeah? Ok Where did god come from then if you believe god sprang from nothing into existence. Neither can be proven hence agnosticism. No one knows what forces brought matter into existence hence there will never be any proof either way. But these adherents of fantasy are the ones who are committing a crime against our humanity and our very right to live and to be who we truly are because their arbitrary fantasy world states that we are not who we are ... that we are impossible... Does that make me invisible!? Gee I wonder but people seem to see me and talk to me and If I do not pay my taxes or other bills they certainly can alter my reality in a negative way, though breech the tenants of their fantasy world and nothing happens at all...hum...Fantasy vs reality and there is living proof!