My oldest sister visiting

[Anne Bonny]

Hi ladies, So far so good she has not noticed my ear lobes AT ALL! cutting my hair relatively shorter was a good move and it will grow back. So sigh of relief. Gaw she has so many little things she does but eating out at a restaraunt last night a lady was amazed at how good she still looks at age 74 and it is true...she is phenomenal we do have good genes.

The one thing is here we are at about 3 days and...I of course am not able at all to give outward expression of my inner feminine side...for a few days I was not feeling it...but now I am. I should not whine because it is a slight to moderate level of dissonance and stress and I am sure it will pass with distraction...but I am not able at all to share who I am inside, and certainly unable to move into being outwardly in anyway who I am sensing internally inside this morning. Sigh! Oh well... small temporary price to refrain during a visit of under two weeks for one of the remaining siblings I have left in the world, the other well the globe trotter looks down at the hoi Polloi and I rarely see her deign favor me with a visit but for funerals and weddings... gaw. My half brother is dead and buried who knows where, some pauper's resting place..he had problems in life probably manic depressive and really needed to see someone but in the 60's ... my parents were of a generation ... nothing.

Oh well...It is a rub...something I have to endure but Oh! I missed the local Pride thing on Saturday at a park on the point...annual LGBTQ day there I would have been so nervous to attend but I will have to maybe next year?

[Davita]

You missed a good chance to gauge your sister had you asked her to join you and the local LGBT events. All you had to say, "I'm going to see what it's all about, wanna join me?" Next year, don't miss it. Everyone goes regardless of they are LGBT or not.

[Anne Bonny]

I do know my sister...she does believe alternate sexuality and/or gender is a "sin." Because she is a very serious Baptist, studies the bible her beliefs fall in line with those who will never accept any interpretation other than the "party line" of american mainline Protestantism which just as Catholicism is mindlessly brain dead and viewpoint is fixed to the point that even confronted with scientific data proving them wrong...they will deny solid fact in favor or belief, nothing even solid facts are allowed to counter their faith and beliefs. That is the horrible thing about religion it leads to total delusion which can lead to persecution of any who do not adhere to what they believe...be that islam, judaism, or christianity...those middle eastern religions are horrible. So it leads to internecine hardening of views.

So no she would absolutely not go to the local LGBT annual event. No...Now interestingly because she does not know or suspect anything she will discuss my taking Biotin with my vitamin as something to help my trying to stave off hair thinning...She helped me find Black Jamaican Casterol so I could apply it to my scalp per this youtube video I found from a young woman of indian descent who was talking about nourishing her scalp and using various oils to help her hair...even tea tree oil which is feminizing.... and helped me buy it we have been discussing hair dying, and hair care... openly without any problem at all... It nearly has me thinking perhaps she knows but does not know openly on purpose and if I were to openly say anything she would then be forced to attack me. She will even talk about clothing, yet...If I were a man...why would I have any interest!? Oh well....

No If I want my sister in my life the only way is to know but not know teasing around the edges knowing full well she would become quite hostile were I to ever say ... "I crossdress and have all of my life..." Then she would definitely tell me I am crazy, need to see a psychiatrist and be put on medications and given therapy. I know this my read on my sister...I know her. She was a doctor's wife and is very detail oriented boring down into fine detail on medications and would be endlessly after me from that point on needling me...NO! And If I stood my ground with equal convictions etc...she might just go away because "I have made a lifestyle choice she does not agree with and wants nothing to do with."

For myself...it is far far easier...she is 74...to continue on as I have.

Good thing she lives 7 hours away. That means but for a week or so once or twice a year...she is not into my personal life and I could very well attend the event next year...every thing like that for me would be with trepidation, basically I am quite shy socially interpersonally, but I am quite the opposite publically, hell I was a Diabetic Educator and had absolutely no problem giving presentations before groups of patients, or whatever. Interpersonally I am awkward and until I am comfortable it is difficult.