What was it that told you it was OK?

Anne Bonny · Post by **Anne Bonny** » Tue May 15, 2018 9:49 am

Looking back I realized in my late 50's...I am now 61...that I have been this way probably my entire live though I only became aware at about age 9 with no understanding...too young at that time I only know that I really enjoyed female feelings inside, trying female clothing on etc.... I came to realize this is not something that I do, that this is who I am, always have been, am, and always will be as a matter of fact. I cannot help being who I am, I was over the hump of full acceptance. It is certainly ok to be who I trully am.

Stephanie M · Post by **Stephanie M** » Sun May 20, 2018 1:10 pm

I'm not certain I'm to the point of OK just yet, but I am finding I care less and less what other people think about it.
I've been out in public several times and the only time I had a negative experience was at a drive through, when I took a road trip recently, the girl at the window saw me then said she would be right back, she gathered up her coworkers and I could see them pointing and laughing, then she came back I simply smiled handed her my money got my change and drove to the next window. The fact that I didn't feel mortified tells me I'm getting closer to ok.

Anne Bonny · Post by **Anne Bonny** » Tue May 22, 2018 9:18 am

Saw Caitlyn Jenner on the Youtube for an interview She stated I am not a spokesman, I can only speak for myself. She relayed that this is who she has been her entire life...we hide it...while others berate any like us as perverts, or crazy, or just pretending to be because of course this is all made up in their mind. Thinking back I recall I became aware and from that point on inspite of all of my internal struggles I could not do anything about it...I am a girl in part...I tried to stop, I prayed, tried to not do it....but it is futile because you cannot change who you really are inside...if it were otherwise we could have overcome it but this is who we are.

What's wrong with being a girl!? or partly...it is just the flip side of being a man. We are human and we are both full of intelligence, and capabilities...we are of equal value, men are of no more value than women...they may think they are but they aren't. So I am perfectly happy being every bit of who I am.

Annie · Post by **Annie** » Fri Jun 01, 2018 1:44 pm

I am not sure I think that this is okay. I look at my wife and I know that she is not comfortable. I am not ready to come out to any one else in my family or circle of friends. I am not sure what I want out of it. I know that at times it feels right, but other times it feel basically wrong.
I "binge" read Heather's story and thought to myself what am I doing? I don't think I have the desire to transition like she did, or any of the rest of you really courageous girls. I so admire all of you, but what am I thinking?
I am not really sure who I am....... I just feel lonely and blue I guess.

Post by **Diana Michelle** » Tue Jun 05, 2018 3:00 pm

Annie wrote:I am not sure I think that this is okay.

Sorry to hear that Annie. For me and I believe most the road to happiness starts with being able to look inside and say yes I am OK. It is not about what others think but what Annie thinks. For some of us, Heather included, that road was through transition and surgery, for others it is being to be out and about freely dressed however yet for others it may be a quiet noght home dressed with the shades drawn tight so the neighbors can't see.

It is not about what was right for me or Heather or anyone else but what is right for you. Once you become comfortable with Annie then comes the time for the next step should you choose to take it. Whatever you do never let anyone force you to a level you are not comfortable with or ready for. Only you have the right to make those choices for you.

Anne Bonny · Post by **Anne Bonny** » Tue Jun 05, 2018 4:43 pm

Hi Annie, I can tell you what you are feeling is perfectly normal. We are all different. Many things can effect how we feel and send us to the masciline side believing...ok! That's it! Stress, emotional disruption in our life, life! Demands, troubles....go with the flow! Dont feel your soft side...live your life...it comes back. We are who we are, there's nothing we can do to change it. Relax...go your way and in time it will return. There is nothing wrong being who you are...this is not a choice, it's not a curse or a great thing...it just is.

Crossdressers-Haven.com

What was it that told you it was OK?

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