Why?

[Absaroka]

As for the elephant in the room, I think this has to do with the variety of our membership.

There is nothing wrong with crossdressing being a sexual thing, if that is what it is for someone.

Zari

[Anthony Simon]

Let's see now, which planet are you from again?

Oh it's a small place halfway between Planet Zarg and Planet Bleep, in which pigs fly and words have wings. But not at Christmas, when it rains.

They don't elevate men above women there and so don't have to tie themselves in all sorts of knots denigrating men, like CDers, who threaten that. That would include stigmatizing such men as beyond the pale in some way - such as by assertions of sexual deviance. And then they don't have to create a whole class of "experts" to justify such assertions.

But I'm currently in exile from that place on this rather unfriendly place they call Earth.

[Gillian]

From another planet are we. As the expression goes, "pray that there is intelligent life in outer space, because there is bugger all here on earth".

As for the comment by Zari, There is nothing wrong with crossdressing being a sexual thing, if that is what it is for someone. The problem for so many of us is that sex is and always will be a very personal thing. Until men and women are truely equal, there will be a, "me Tarzan, you Jane" attitude with the male population. That being said when is the next starship to the planet Crossdovia.

[Ralitsa]

my electronic thumb is blinking right now, so I think a spaceship is coming. But it seems to be the vogons making way for a hyperspace bypass. The mice are really going to be mad this time.

[Anne Bonny]

I suppose we all ask that question, and we keep on banging our heads against a wall. I believe I would choose to be normal meaning to me - absolutely no desire or even a thought of crossdressing, and fully attracted to beautiful women rather than wanting to dress like and be one. In my mind I must admit that I must believe the status of women as being below that of men, because they usually desire submission to a man's desires and in yeilding of their own free will expect to be loved, comforted, provided with security, to be taken care of with no need to worry. Physically women are built to receive a man as well. Why would something like the idea of petticoating where an authoritarian and superior woman in a position of power and control over me excite erotic thoughts in me? Why would the idea of submission, taking on the role of a wife, with my wife taking the role of husband appeal to me? There is fear, danger of having my status as a man denied me and beyond my ability to restore on my own thrilling and erotic, the possibility of imagined humiliation is both pleasurable, desirable and thrilling. My wife loves me, and under the right conditions, our being alone does not mind if I dress as a woman but this is tolerence not the same as full acceptance with a desire for me to dress, she is not turned on by this as very very few women are (probably in the < 1% range), there is no encouragement that I do so. If it were not for this and if we were alone (no teens around) I believe I would dress as a woman every day 24/7 for long periods. When I have been able to do this which happens exceedingly rarely, I find I eventually lose the thrill as it turns into just being dressed and not feeling special and the excitement leaves. I have tried all my life to be free of this desire, but it ALWAYS returns, in reality I do not remember many days in my life when the desire or thoughts about crossdressing were not crossing my mind several times a day. Alas - even though I can now do it at home in my wife's presence - She is not turned on by it, does not desire it, or encourage it, she just tolerates it - but still loves me inspite of it. Nirvana would ba a woman who wants to be more of a husband or more equal with desire to take charge sexually at times.... I believe this addiction is probably hardwired - gee - ya think?! There is nothing short of a miracle which would remove this out of my life and God has chosen not to do this even though I have prayed for it many times. I do believe I am very close to if not having my finger on the root of this problem which is in the end pleasure and pain sensations and hormones which make up an addiction which is probably genetic - I am in some way or other transgendered.

[Anne Bonny]

I love dressing, all my senses are excited by it, seeing myself in the mirror, seeing my nails, my made-up face, the smooth legs; the smell of the perfume or the nail polish, or the clothes; feeling the feminine fabrics, the skirts floating over my legs, the caress of the bra, the silky stretchyness of some of the clothing; the sound of the heels on a hard floor, or of the russle of my dress, of of an ear ring on my neck; the taste of the lipstick. I love feeling, participating in some small way experiencing part of the feminine world. I long for acceptance, encouragement, assistance, a desire by a woman that I do this, to share love, understanding, etc.... Nirvana. I did not want to give the impression that it was just a kinky - domination/submissive thing - I believe my real desire is for what I have written here - understanding, acceptance, and love. Dom/Submissive while exciting is not really what I am seeking or desire, who in reality wants to be humiliated or dominated? That is the stephen king of CD literature, while exciting no one actually wants to experience being tortured and murdered. It is so hard to understand why....

[Lydia]

Anne Bonny writes:

I love dressing, all my senses are excited by it, seeing myself in the mirror, seeing my nails, my made-up face, the smooth legs; the smell of the perfume or the nail polish, or the clothes; feeling the feminine fabrics, the skirts floating over my legs, the caress of the bra, the silky stretchyness of some of the clothing; the sound of the heels on a hard floor, or of the russle of my dress, of of an ear ring on my neck; the taste of the lipstick. I love feeling, participating in some small way experiencing part of the feminine world

Amazing how that matches my feelings about crossdressing - and so well written.
At the same time I have no desire to actually BE a woman. I value my existence as a male, and I love my SO deeply. I am lucky in that she more than tolerates my CD, but accepts and understands my needs. However, she can never understand why anyone in their right mind would wear a bra if they didn't have to. I have ceased to try to explain it - I just enjoy it.

Hugs,

Lydia

[Carol Ann]

Anne,
I also agree with you 110%, I just so enjoy dressing as a women and if it were possible I would live full time.
Now the wife let's me dress all I want but full time is out because she saids so

[Anne Bonny]

forbidden fruits are often the sweetist. I had a girlfriend prior to marriage who used the analogy of a box of chocolates to intimacy. Missing something only heightens our desire for it so being denied is important as well.

[Anne Bonny]

If we are in the closet there is the element of danger, of being caught and outed....the idea in CD literature of caught with consequences, or petticoated against our will or forced by an authoritarian female who has the power to control us, to deny us our masculinity. Submission to a wife who takes on the role of husband and is incharge while we must wear a dress and be submissive. These are all fantasy which we would not like in reality but in our psychie these ideas are erotic and exciting. I believe we would in reality want to be loved, understood, accepted, supported, encouraged, and desired by our wives who were also turned on or sexually stimulated by our switching roles - but in reality for 99% of us this too is a fantasy. These erotic elements I believe are what we find so pleasurable, and endlessly facinating. We are all stuck on this roller coaster. I believe this is why we are hooked, the hormones are the drugs - that give erotic pleasure to the pleasure centers in our brain, and like those rats we will keep pushing that button rather than the button which gives us food (but we are smarter than rats and will stop to eat!)

[Susan]

I well remember those days in my youth but now I am not in the slightest bit bothered who knows I dress these days. It was a long road from there to here but it has lead to a place where I am happy.

All is well that ends well.

[Anne Bonny]

I envy you, I have so much going on - even in retirement two stern and very conventional sisters who live a couple of states away, Two teenage sons who have their own problems without this, A wife with early onset dementia probably of alzheimer's type who I care for, this is why I am retired, retired - I would have to give 2/3 of my salarie to a sitter working for 10 hours a day at $16. per hour, then there is my wife's family and friends - it would be a full on disaster, I will just have to wait, perhaps some day.

[Absaroka]

It's often seemed to me that there are a variety of reasons why men like to wear womens clothing and that not all of us do this for the same reason.

Zari

[Erica S]

Cross Dressing lets me be me that never developed. I agree with Anne Bonny said to the tee! I enjoy each sensation of dressing. I love to experience each feeling when I am able to dress. It is something an man does not understand and a GG does not understand why a man would want to feel that way. I can not give specific reasons for my desires. They are strong enough for me to continue as I have. I am enjoying as long as I can and will see where it takes me. Maybe someday I can come out of the closet and go full time. Now that would be heaven I feel.

Hugs,

Erica

[Anne Bonny]

This morning here I am all dressed, face and hair fixed. I put away my few remaining pairs of male briefs long ago in the back of a drawer in my closet for when I go to the doctor or simply when I feel masculine and want them. But as I sit here in a dress I wonder why can't I be myself? I prefer dresses, skirts, feminine things, hair, make-up, jewelry, smelling nice - If I prefer being feminine in my dress why do I have to hide it, can't people just get over it? Why can't friends and family, strangers in public just accept there are men who prefer to live as/(like) women much of the time? Why are pants and a masculine appearance required of men and not necessarily of women. I know women who dress masculine frequently retain some feminine touches, but we would not. Why will be with us our entire lives perhaps the answer is because we are. We are partly feminine, partly female - transgendered. Not Why at all, because WE ARE!
And if we are, then we are really traumatizing ourselves by continuing to hide who we are. To heal we need to stop hiding, we need to acknowledge, to come out and BE - we need to live to move on with our lives. If we are never able to walk out that door, wave at our neighbor, or to greet them at the door, or to visit with our friends, to shop or go to the store, to go to shows, to have fun openly then we are really hurting ourselves. It is as if we have decided to amputate our foot or our arm, because we are certainly amputating part of who we are. I am more ready to open that door than ever. It may be we would find ourselves over joyed and thrilled when our friends or our family accept us and tell us with a smile of acceptance "It's not a big deal, It doesn't make any difference to us, we love you just the way you are!" Yeah, but many will not but I believe that price may well be worth paying - I did withhold all of this from my parents who have now passed...I will never know if they would have stated "It does not make any difference to us, we will always love you." In reality I never told them because I felt certain that it definitely would have made a difference to them, though I knew that they would always love me and I was and still would be afraid of their response, the psychological consequences. We have to be willing to accept what comes but our parents are probably the most important people in our lives admit it or not. Anne

Just saw on the television Male to female transitions are 1.5 to 3 times as frequent as female to male transition. Another fact is that both genetic and environmental factors are involved in our being transgendered. Also I believe it stated that 50% of transgendered males attempt suicide by age 20. There is also an acknowledgement of the need for the best minds to come together to study this issue. There was a story about an 11 y/o boy receiving hormone blockers to give him time to decide if he wants to be a boy or a girl, he was adopted by a lesbian couple. Interesting story it was on FOX with Megan Kelly who in the past has been quite interested in transgendered stories - wonder if her brother or a friend is transgendered?