I just thought I would write a bit about the way I'm "coping" with my crossdressing, since I am, yet again, in one of those non-crossdressing stages.
I know that earlier in my life, I had periods of time when I wouldn't even think about crossdressing, at all. So, during those periods of time, I just didn't cd at all.
But whenever I started thinking about crossdressing, sooner or later I had to do it. If I wasn't able to do it right away, the need to do it would be building up inside me, and it would became almost like an obsession. I had to find the opportunity to cd, or it would very much consume all of my thoughts and energies. (I guess many of you can relate to this)
Now, things are very different. For a number of years (Some 5 years, actually) I have had the opportunity of being "home alone" for many weeks at a time, at least once a year. That has produce a big change in my dressing. To begin with, it allowed me to go out for the first time. It allowed me to dress as much as I wanted those weeks. It allowed me to practice on my makeup, find the right styles of clothes for me, etc. I never thought I would be able to go out, and the simple idea of being "passable" was totally out of my wildest dreams. But I got there... at least at times!
My wife is not accepting/supportive of my crossdressing. So, I don't crossdress unless my family is out of town. They haven't been out of town for about 1 1/2 years now. Yes, I know... many would say that they wouldn't be able to resist not cding for such a long time. But for me it hasn't really been a big deal.
There are at least 2 main reasons why I haven't cd in those many months. First, my kids/wife. I really don't want any of them to see me dressed. CDing with them around is not an option for me. Second... I guess I got spoiled getting so many days for myself... Days in which I was able to dress almost full time as a woman, go out, etc. Now, the idea of just staying home and dressing for one hour or two is not appealing at all.
Maybe I'm weird... but the clothes by themselves don't really appeal to me that much. It is the whole look what I like, and not only the look, but being able to go out and interact with other people as Gaby. No, I'm not a TS. I think that I'm closer to what could be called some sort of "Female Impersonator". But that is getting out of the topic.
So, back into the "coping" issues... basically, when there are many other things into your life, cding tends to take the back seat. Also, and this is just personally, I can remember that before I started going out and such, I could only wonder how that would be. How it would be to go out? How it would be to go to the salon and get my nails/hair done? How it would be to go shopping enfemme? etc, etc. Now, after having done so many things enfemme, I don't have to wonder anymore. I know how it is. And I think that it is a lot easier if you don't have to wonder how things would be, but you can remember how things were. ah.. and having 'net access also helps.
Finally... The most important thing would be that being able to incorporate what people call "feminine" characteristics into your every day life.
Gaby.
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