This is not what we do but who we are

[Anne Bonny]

That is an important idea which occurred to me not that I do not already know it but as I sift through and turn things about in my mind I am always learning, always finding new and interesting perspectives about my gender.

Most in the binary world see us and they form ideas based on flawed rumors and speculations thrown around about people in the non binary world. True...we are a very complicated population of individuals with several moving parts the combinations of which give rise to a wide variation we are therefore not easily defined and those in the binary world want simple generalizations that say....Wears girls clothes...Gay...perverted and then they just want to stop right there because they are not interested and do not want to think anymore about it...in their brain they nailed it right there so every non binary person they see they have already defined.

You know...they don't think of us as they do any other person...they don't want to think of us as individuals...or as interesting or nice or as people they might want to know because they believe we are sick or mentally deranged and they have defined us end of thought. Kind of sad isn't it.

Even though we are much more than our gender...father, brother, son, could be mother, sister, daughter depending on your physical sex. We have values, we are successful, we contribute, we participate and live our lives and are every bit as worthy as anyone else binary or not.

They define us based on what they see, that we are what we do. Many of us also carry this thought in our head...this is something I do. But it is not, this is who we are. Our gender of whatever unique variant or stripe defines at least this part of ourselves - our gender - is who we are uniquely. We may be cis gendered, or trans gendered including about 30 different variants...we may be trans sexual, gender fluid, androgynous, I confess I have not studied the long list.

We are born male or female. Our sexuality may be Homo, hetero, bi...etc, and our gender is cis or trans (including a list of variations).


Anyway cis people tend to think - they can stop doing it, it is perverted, it is a delusion, etc...but they fail to see this is not what we do, our gender is part of who we are in our make up as a unique individual. We are not bad or perverted, etc we are as good as anybody else, as upstanding, as heroic. We have all the same potential to change the world around us in a positive way. Our gender is just part of who we are and all it tends to say is this is my outlook on life, these are the styles of clothes I like, these are the groups I prefer to be with or thought of with. But it says nothing about much else. Sex, sexuality, morality, values, interests, intelligence, our desires and goals and dreams. No one has a right to put us into a box, don't let them.

[Noeleena]

Hi.

Well depends on who you know and I know a lot of people and I interact with them almost every day , and of cause you ll know im very involved with music and Brass Bands so that again puts myself in front on stage and Parade,s so I cannot hide away ,

To day was no different as I went to a well known water and machine out let and was talking to the young woman and she knew me and I know some of her family and happen to play together in our Brass Band so its people just accept who I am and many know what im about and do,

To be put in a box so people know some thing about you is normal what changes is how many box,s are you in and I think after a while they see your so busy your every where and what your doing is noted,

For myself its not what I wear its what will ....I... be... wearing next time we meet if you mean clothes that sort of conform to every day clothes as is normal then that box is a non goer because I don't conform in that sense .

Maybe my friends are so used to me nothing surprise,s them they just expect it , so acceptance is there just you have to be open and give them time to see ....YOU....as the person ,

Some of my clothes are very different and its Oh where did you get that or buy that .... well I designed it and made it , what I see is if your interesting = different youll be surprised how well people will warm to you .

...noeleena...

[KimberlyS]

To be put in a box so people know some thing about you is normal what changes is how many box,s are you in

Yes boxes, love the boxes. We as humans really can only deal with things that we know about, a box. Usually when we do not know about something we be come unsure, untrusting, agitated, and maybe even hostile if we feel threatened. And while not knowing , we still try to relate it to something that we already know. Just how us humans work.

So think about what most people know about being transgendered and crossdressers as what they have seen in the news, tv, online, or from their friends or family who do not know much either. And the news they hear or read is most likely just part of the story, or they do not understand what they are reading. If the information is from their friend or family, it then has their twist on it also. So now if you try to have a conversation with someone about who you are which box do you fit into. The person to robbed the store in a womans wig and top, drag queen (if you are one you are better explaining as you have boxes), RuPaul, Andreja Pejic, Carmen Carrera, Candis Cayne, Cait Jenner? We do have more people that are putting out more boxes for people to relate to, but it will still take some more time. We need more boxes like, the gal next door (Oh i mean the guy next door, my friend for 12 years), my brother, my sister, my cousin the person at work that I know that is a great person. People in general need more positive transgendered boxes that they can deal with.

And yes I agree Noeleena, we are not just in one box, but many, many boxes that we are in. People can deal with boxes, as boxes give things definitions, and define us. Some people say think out side of the box. But if you are a box thinker, thinking outside of the box just puts you into a different box. Lets just have a group hug and call it good. Will not talk about those that do not want to be touched as that is a different topic.

Getting off my box now,

kimberlys cd
joe in a skirt

[Anne Bonny]

Noleena...you are such a positive person! Yes I know I am still fighting the thoughts in my own head and when I have been out no one even notices! So you are quite correct! Most of us hold the keys to our own jail but do not realize it, well at least I do...

Kimberly... Yep...interactions with others will put out more positive boxes...I may be doing that with the Hospice staff, or with the sitter I hired as I care for my wife. I agree...thanks.