Handling a scoffer

[Rhanda]

I still maintain that I don't ever pretend to be a woman but it might be fun to find out if I can carry it off.

The other week when grocery shopping I was approached by a total stranger, a big man of a different race. He greeted me with, "Hi beautiful". I was kind of startled and felt a little threatened but I held out my hand for a hand shake and smiled at him and said "Hello, how are you." This changed his whole attitude and we chatted for a while. I believe that you might even say we were friendly.

I use a power cart when shopping and ride it to my car after. When I was parking the cart, this man with the lady he was with drove past me an tooted and gave me a friendly wave.

Rhanda

[Eileen (SO)]

I believe this man might have his own secret and wanted to meet you. "Hi Beautiful" was a compliment. Seems he was not a scoffer at all, just timid in approaching you.

Eileen.

[Anne Bonny]

Hum...Eileen is so very perceptive...women are so much better when it comes to all of this.

Nah he did not sound like a scoffer to me either, far from it. But then we were not there to read body language, facial expression and the tone of his statement so....

If he was scoffing I understand that who I am who I am. As Robyn stated one time...we have every right to be who we are and others have every right not to like it. The world is full of people who do not want to know or understand let alone see and have us in this world or anywhere where they could come upon us by chance.

That's not right we do not have to defend ourselves for being who we are and no body has the right to deny our freedom to simply be ourselves.

Screw him...don't worry about it...society is changing may take a few more years but it is really happening and is no longer a fantasy on our part.

[Ralitsa]

I agree with Eileen, I think he was not a scoffer at all. Sounds like he just wanted to say hi and give you a bit of affirmation, that you were looking good. Occasionally you meet guys who are considerate, and not total jerks
The world really is not a horrible place after all..................

[Debbie Jean]

I met a "scoffer" at the beach yesterday. I had bought a new swim suit and was wearing it for the first time. It was an animal (leopard of cheetah) print string bikini. Bought it at Target, That is one of the places you can buy swim tops and bottoms separately. Anyway this guy comes up to me and asked: "Is that a woman's suit?"

He asked the question in a very snotty & sarcastic way. I said: "Do you see any naked women on this beach? Of course you don't. All the women here have all their swim suits on, therefore I didn't steal anybody's swim suit, so don't accuse me of stealing". He kept questioning me further and I kept "stonewalling" him. I normally use good manners when interacting with strangers, but in the case of strangers who ridicule, scoff or are otherwise sarcastic toward me, I can feel free to "pull out all the stops".

Of course if he had asked the question in a nice or civil way, I would have answered "yes" or "sure". Incidentally that was the only negative comment I got while there. I also received several positive remarks from different people, both men and women at that beach. So all in all, it was a good beach day.

thanks for reading,
Deb

[Eileen (SO)]

Deb, a better reply might be, "Yes, it's my swimsuit." Then threaten to call scream or call police if he didn't leave you alone.

Eileen

[Davita]

I concur with Eileen. I don't need to be attacked because I wasn't saying what the *** wanted to hear and the odds are good I would certainly piss him off. I don't need to be involved in a fight I will most likely lose. I guess that's one reason I have a whistle in my purse so I can get attention if I need it.

Umm excuse me sir, I have to get the pepper spray and my whistle from my purse. Can you stay here so I can mark you with my spray? Then I will use the whistle to get people to come and rescue me from you. Gawww if it were that easy to get rid of some people....

[Diana Michelle]

Maybe you should have said something to the effect "Yes it is, thank you for noticing." Then if you really wanted to p*** him off you could have smiled and added "Hope it doesn't make my butt look big."