Crossdressers-Haven.com

I post here seldom. I belonged to this group a number of years ago, and at the time I was alone much of the day working from home and wore my own dresses and such around the house quite often. It was suggested to me that this was a way of filling a void, and I think there was some truth to that. I'd liked to experiment with women's clothing since I was about 7, but in my 50's all of a sudden it really took off. I did this for close to 10 years. Then my wife retired, and grown children moved back home. So I no longer had the opportunity to dress, and also was less isolated. And eventually the desire more or less left me. That was some 9 years ago now.

I am less isolated now. And although the pandemic was isolating in some ways, it meant my family, including grandkids now, was home most of the time. But today, no one is home. And I felt this nostalgia for all that time alone, nurturing something, I don't know what. Nurturing myself through participating here, and doing something that I don't really have words for. I have a friend who is fond of saying that her first drug was fantasy, and that rings true. Some sort of fantasy about being a carefree young girl. I used to love going hiking or walking along the railroad right of way en femme. Of course I liked doing this en drab also. But there was something about the moon in the forest while wearing my hiking dress and boots.

Maybe I'm skating around something, I don't know. All I know is that I felt really confined today. So I borrowed some of my wifes clothing and relived a bunch of happy memories. Really kind of an odd feeling.

Any thoughts?

I don't know...This is the first time since you've come back that I've recognised in you the voice you had before.

My experience is a lot of things in life cycle and change. Having a need to be around people is a common human need. And if you need it you will get it what ever way you can. When you have many around you, your need is met. When you do not you go looking for it where you feel comfortable.

You CDing need may be similar or flow with your need for people. Or alternatively, I find CD/TGs have a way of filling their need when they can while other times the need can have a substitution fill by doing other things.

Just some thoughts and it is different for everyone.

Kimberlys

To go a little further on Kim's thoughts many things ebb and flow in our life. Situations change as do desires, opportunities, and thoughts. Why not sure and it is probably different in all of us. I will say rather than question why thoughts and urges suddenly appear or reappear just enjoy. Life is too short to live it in a closet.